I Hate 2021 Already Lesser Footy Thread

Just.  Fuck’s sake.  Start the new year with a home loss to David Moyes.  Fuck everything.

Anyway, the show must go on.  Bielsa against Mourinho will make for quite the contrast in style/philosophy (7:30, NBCSN).  Not setting my alarm, but as an old…I know I will be awake for it.  Go Leeds go!

Things get a little patchy after that.  Knifey and Palace (10:00, NBCSN)?  Yikes.  Followed by a meek spotlighter between Wolves and Trash Birds (12:30, NBC).  Good thing I have to be watching JV ball instead (see below).

Arsenal will be laying waste to Fat Sam’s Brummies (3:00, Peacock) to end your Lesser day, and the thought already is making me feel better.  But not much better.

JV Jaguras Bowl – NC State (+2.5) v. Kenfucky @ Duuuuuuuvvvvvvaaaalllll (Noon, ESPN)

I feel good(ish) about this one, so bet the farm on a Wildcat win by double digits.  You’d think the SEC squadron would have MOAR guys sitting this out for Draft prep.  But you’d be wrong.

Overpriced, Tacky Steakhouse Bowl – Ole Miss (+9.5) v. Indiana @ The MRSA Ship (12:30, ABC)

This looks like quite the mismatch on paper, as Indiana looked fairly competent this season.  And are not coached by Lane Kiffin.  Still, Johnny Reb knows wut 2 due when a bunch of yankees come a callin!

Empty Party Bowl – Oregon (+5) v. Iowa State @ QardsVille (4:00, ESPN)

That’s PAC-12 Champions Quack Attack, despite not even winning their division.  Cornpone State seem like the kind of squadron that will still be hung over from losing their conference title game, and thus shitting the pitch.  Then again, I’m wrong an awful lot.

Don’t let the bumper ads fool you, there is NO GODDAMNED NIGHT GAME.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Viva La Tabula Raza

So some Armenian Alabamian is gonna be Longhorn Head Coach.

Duchess

Just keep him away from 4th and/or 6th Street

SonOfSpam

They have bars in Austin?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Well, all the bars are probably open in College Station, anyway. Off to the Dixie Chicken….

Brick Meathook

Overpriced? You need to go down to New Deal Used Cars, where they blow the shit out of high prices:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zqHZWdFVyyQ

bk109

Just. Fuck’s sake. Start the new year with a home loss to David Moyes. Fuck everything.”

Well, no need to do a welfare check on Hippo after that game … Oh well, I hope the rest of y’all are havinga more pleasant stretch of lesser footy than our proud fookin’ Evertonian

ballsofsteelandfury

Well, he did choose THAT team, so didn’t he bring it on himself?

bk109

As an Arsenal supporter, I don’t think that one chooses his or her team… that affiliation is decreed by whichever malevolent deity’s stuck on the tier 1 ‘fucking over humanity” desk 😀

Recovery Whiskey

Michigan is extending Har-Har through 2026

https://twitter.com/BruceFeldmanCFB/status/1345490750063083520

ArmedandHammered

Wasn’t rewarding incompetence more of a 2020 thing? I had hoped things would be better in 2021.

litre_cola

Well Mrs. Cola and I did get promoted in 2020 so this checks out.

bk109

Eh, I thought that you two got promoted because somehow all of your immediate superiours got BOFH’d in increasingly improbable accidents without any (surviving) eyewitnesses?

WCS

Cousinfuckers-Early Settlers is incredible.

WCS

RIP Floyd Little. Hell of a player.

Last edited 3 years ago by WCS
ballsofsteelandfury

Fun fact that Scotchy will get annoyed by: This is the 6969th post published on DFO!

Horatio Cornblower

Nice!
/Just adding to the annoyance

Sharkbait

Nice

Viva La Tabula Raza

Double plus good!!!
—Gronk

ballsofsteelandfury

I like to think that Smokey got out of rehab, joined the police academy, graduated, and then joined the LAPD. He would later solve crimes with a Snoopy-looking Hong Kong inspector.

litre_cola

Think I am going to do dry January. This obviously will be followed by “look the fuck out liver” February.

ballsofsteelandfury

I will drink twice as much to make up for you.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I shouldn’t get mad at people for doing dry January, but I do.

Horatio Cornblower

2 days in and I have regrets*.

*3 beers just sitting in the beer fridge, crying out to join their friends.

Patience, my pretties, patience.

/oh, yeah, this is gonna go just great.

Last edited 3 years ago by Horatio Cornblower
Bloody Lethal

Spam what’s your name on the Untappd?

Horatio Cornblower

Son of Spam, same as here.

At least I hope so, because I just friended someone with that name, and if it’s not our Spam that poor bastard is in for a surprise.

ballsofsteelandfury

Friday movie marathon on USA Network!

SonOfSpam

No cussing? Is it still worth it?

ballsofsteelandfury

I know. That’s the problem. The fun part is I’ve seen all 3 so many times that I can fill in the blanks.

Game Time Decision

So it’s a silent film?

scotchnaut

That tune that you thought you understood when you first heard it and realized later it was about something else.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uuMvkNDuOuQ&ab_channel=ivatrinka

rockingdog
Last edited 3 years ago by rockingdog
Bloody Lethal

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QLKIkmiLCzM&ab_channel=MergeRecordsonYoutube

My new go-to coffee place is called “Booskerdoo”.

Doktor Zymm

Canadia will probably be letting us dirty Americans back in by 2022, right? I want to go hang out in the middle of nowhere, sit in a boat, and look at bears
https://www.grizzlytour.com/grizzly-bear-sanctuary

litre_cola

I know a few bars you could go and look at bears. -Buddy C

Doktor Zymm
scotchnaut

often described as the gay “Cheers”

[gay couple walks in holding hands]

Bar Crowd: “NORM!-alized.”

Dunstan

Wasn’t there an episode of Cheers where it suddenly got a reputation as a gay bar? I think it was because Sam praised a former teammate’s memoir (in which the teammate came out) without having read it. Or maybe that was a different episode. I remember being confused by the term “fern bar.”

herodotus450

Football talking guy: “there’s not a player who’s improved his draft stock more than Justin Fields.”
Oh you mean going from #3 to #2?

Recovery Whiskey

Maybe the Bears can trade up to get him.

Brocky

first off: How dare you!

but yeah sounds like us

Recovery Whiskey

Worked for Trubisky!

scotchnaut

“In other ‘Top Heavy’ News:

The first line of the Jr German hockey men’s team (featuring Tim Stutzle) is responsible for 13 of their 15 goals at this tournament.”

-Christina Hendricks, sports reporter

Doktor Zymm

Hah! TAKE THAT, PROPRIATARY KFX FORMAT!

herodotus450

calibre crew represent

litre_cola

One fucking job Wolves. One fucking job. Fuck.

litre_cola

Hey Sharky, just saw “The Neopolitan Sewer” on twitter.
2 oz of Vodka
Cold tap water
2 tablespoons of olive oil
Rocks

Sharkbait

Just…why?

Doktor Zymm

The sad part is, there’s no way that’s anywhere near the first horrible idea of 2021

scotchnaut

Surprised that you would drink something with an ingredient with such a low smoke point…

herodotus450

Tom Herman “‘s Head” fired at Texas

scotchnaut

15 million buyout and he never lost a Bowl game? Huh…

scotchnaut

I’m not lost but I don’t know where I am

/talk about a line that stuck with me for far too many years…

Brocky

at this point I just need to make an account with the user name “god” and just have every account be: fuck you brocky.

side note: after typing “fuck you” my keyboard now prompts my username

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s fucking funny.

scotchnaut

“Side note: After typing ‘fuck you’ my keyboard now prompts ‘broccoli’.”

-George H.W. Bush

scotchnaut

/doing The Business in northern Ontario

Me: [back on the 30th, via text] “Hey, have your orders into me by noon on the 2nd, because I’m going out to camp and there’s no cell service out there.”

Customer: [sends order at 11:30am via text today] “Please confirm you’ve received this-I’m headed out to camp and there’s no service out there.”

Horatio Cornblower

I would reply “I didn’t get this, because I was out at camp and there’s no service out there.”

Brocky

IU football:

because fuck you brocky

Sharkbait

Mrs. Sharkbait is trying to organize a simultaneous viewing of the nutcracker with her 85 year old grandmother and other non technical people.

This is painful to watch

ballsofsteelandfury

Or hilarious

rockingdog

GO RAT KING!!!!!

Game Time Decision

Sad that there’s no live blog of this

Doktor Zymm

Working on de-DRMing all my Kindle books. Such a pain in the buttocks

litre_cola

Bet on good things for the London Jaguras today.
Knifey lost ✅
Seagulls losing ✅
Come on Gunners beat the Westest Brom!

Sharkbait

I do not approve of the last two of those

litre_cola

Looks like the damn Seagulls are at it again.

Brocky

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litre_cola

I can’t down vote myself. Fuck.

Bloody Lethal

Live update: I just used the shared office bathroom that I usually avoid using and finished my business only to realize the flusher would not work. I would normally MacGyver the thing myself but it’s one of these automatic doohickies and the button won’t register a flush. So now I am in the unfortunate position of being the only person here in my department and having to alert our facilities team to come fix it. Gonna have to feign ignorance on who last made in it before I found the problem.

ballsofsteelandfury

If was like that when you got there. Bunch of savages in this office that break shit and don’t tell anyone!

Bloody Lethal

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Horatio Cornblower

“Hey man, it’s Bloody Lethal up on 4. I…no, it’s an internet name, don’t worry about it. Anyway, hey, hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I just walked into the bathroom and you wouldn’t believe what some jerk left in there. Me? No, no, I just went into the stall to get some paper to blow my nose, that’s when I saw it.”

Bloody Lethal

“Actually I didn’t even see it myself. I heard it from another guy. Rumor has it. You ever listen to Adele? Me neither.”

scotchnaut

Saints entire rb unit out tomorrow? 2021 is really delivering early!

Sharkbait

You’ve heard about Taysom Hill at TE but have you heard about Taysom hill at RB?

scotchnaut

The song that plays in Payton’s head whenever Taysom’s name is mentioned-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpqqjU7u5Yc&ab_channel=beegees

Brocky

i had this gif ready a week ago, but i forgot to, IU points

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Horatio Cornblower

I’ve* got one from G.L.O.W. of her, but it’s against the rules.

*The internet. It’s like a 3 second search.

scotchnaut

German Power Play!*

*does not involve the burning of the Reichstag

Brocky

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scotchnaut

I’ve heard plenty of great things about all the mesa’s in Indiana…

ballsofsteelandfury

Specially if you believe the rumors about Messi to PSG.

Last edited 3 years ago by ballsofsteelandfury
Brocky

I’m not convinced people actually buy diet doctors pepper.

like seriously so few people go out of their way to drink dr pepper in the fist place
like a niche market to an already niche product?

scotchnaut

The thing I learned listening to gum/candy bar/soda-y pop sales reps is that they see the whole market as a pie and they just want that new product to get a sliver because that means more revenue. That’s why you see something like “Salted Caramel KitKat” come out of nowhere and then quickly disappear. And then it’s on the next thing.

/the thought that they’re bastardizing their own sales or transferring existing sales to another product within their category is completely lost on them

Last edited 3 years ago by scotchnaut
Dunstan

I’ve bought it. (Or Dr. Pepper 10.) Maybe about once a year or so.

I don’t drink much soda these days, but it’s kind of a no-brainer for me to eliminate the unnecessary calories when I do. And while I don’t love Dr. Pepper, it’s nice every now and then, so keeping a 12-pack in the cupboard is no big deal.

ballsofsteelandfury

The great thing about Diet Dr. Pepper is that it doesn’t taste that much different than the regular one.

Horatio Cornblower

I try to stay away from soda, but when I do it’s Mexican Coca-Cola or bust. I will buy an RC Cola if I see one, which I think is some psychological trigger from childhood when they had all the baseball players on the can. RC just really isn’t that good.

scotchnaut

JR Hockey Tourney Update:

Germany is losing to Russia, again.

/watching because Sens top pick, Tim Stutzle, is playing
//10 points in 4 games!

Brocky

I’d like to take this opportunity to remind you that IU held OSU to a lower score and had more points than clemson did

rockingdog

cool hook rug
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Last edited 3 years ago by rockingdog
Brocky

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Gumbygirl

Goth Girl 1806

Brocky

this year I have extra reason to root against kentucky.

pours one out for twbs.

(don’t tell him its non-alcoholic or else he’ll rise from the grave to beat my ass)

rockingdog

found a funny:

Imagining a reverse Beauty & The Beast where a witch punishes a guy by turning all of his perfectly good household appliances into human beings

Brocky

that joke did not go where i was expecting.

the usually set up i hear is:

can you imagine if the genders were reversed? a well meaning and attractive man is forced into servitude by a mean spirited broad who looks liker her mom shagged half the zoo? ain’t selling tickets to that.

…. at least assuming the zoo part is implied

Brocky

gentlemen, why is it so bright outside right now?
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Brocky

yep. half of the women met in college weren’t from Indiana, so I’m assuming it carried over to the supporters

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Steve King really loves the University of Iowa logo because it validates his belief that Jews only count as 3/7 of a person.

rockingdog
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ooh, maybe I’ll see what Amazon music has on tap for Fatboy Slim. It’s good music to work out to.

Bloody Lethal

I was supposed to see Courtney Barnett open for the National (you deal with it to see her) at Prospect Park and we show up to a line running about 30 blocks down the edge of the park. Whatever company it was running the show had broken the scanners for tickets and they weren’t admitting anyone. She and the band played to an empty venue essentially and we were all standing outside. I was bummed. Then they let us all in for the National anyway with the scanners still on the fritz. I hated that.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

> National (you deal with it to see her)

Have you got some kind of beef with the National?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Yeah, but barely anything. Two or three steer carcasses, tops.” – Andy Reid, thinking we are referring to the National Beef Trust

Bloody Lethal

I mostly like the National but unfortunately not an entire concerts worthof the National.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Bloody Lethal

Safe to say that 2007 was probably a better year to see them live than 2019? Especially with St. Vincent.

litre_cola

So you are saying bet against them and take the over?

litre_cola

Dammit, have a parlay that needs 1 m0re win, but its on Wednesday???? How can I wait that long??

Bloody Lethal

Bet like you won it until then?

Sharkbait

Is it us and Litre the ones usually praying at the altar of GAMBLOR?

Bloody Lethal
Bloody Lethal

The whole album is “party time”.

Fronkenshteen

WHAR RECECCA LOWE?

litre_cola

2 day hangover. Great.

litre_cola

Being an old dad is not helping!!

Bloody Lethal

Day 2 is when I start to believe I am in a simulation.

litre_cola

Just means sad day will be tomorrow.

Bloody Lethal

The most recent simulation schedule has all Sundays as sad day for the Giants.

Game Time Decision

Think sharky has a drinky for that