Less Than Elite and Wednesday Night Open Thread

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Latest posts by Joliet Jake Delhomme (see all)

Quick aside on the basketball hate. Basketball is the one sport I tried to play in high school. My freshman year at Brophy Prep in Phoenix, 6 ft, 145 lbs, 38 inch sleeves, small (obviously) forward. I was a 5 tool player. Couldn’t shoot, couldn’t pass, couldn’t rebound, couldn’t dribble, couldn’t play defense. I was eventually drafted by the Phoenix Suns. Played 5 seasons. Retired when the league stopped calling traveling.

Wrestling News:

We will get back to normal (?) this week. New Japan Pro Wrestling has their biggest show of the year, the first two days of the year. Search YouTube for NJPW for all of your high flying wrestling needs. AEW published a YouTube video of the “Nightmare Factory Showcase”. Cody and QT Marshal have been running a training arena in Atlanta during the shutdown called the Nightmare Factory. So they put on a showcase for the talent they have been training. When indy wrestling starts back up, the hope is that this showcase will give exposure to this new talent. While WWE reports record profits and low-balls existing talent contract offers.

Bruce Mitchell is a (formerly) well respected wrestling writer. He decided this was the perfect week to accuse AEW and Jon Huber’s widow of lying about his actual cause of death. Instead of accepting the “non-COVID related lung disease” statement from the press release, he decided that he knew more about lung disease than the Mayo Clinic that Jon spent his last days in. Thankfully, this cost him his job at PWTorch.com.

UPDATED: Editor’s Note concerning a published column regarding the death of Jon Huber; PWTorch parts ways with Bruce Mitchell after 30 years

AEW Dynamite Preview:

  • Kenny Omega vs. Rey Fenix for the AEW Championship.
  • Hikaru Shida vs. Abadon for the AEW Women’s Championship.
  • Matt Jackson, Nick Jackson, Christopher Daniels, and Frankie Kazarian vs. Max Caster, Anthony Bowens, Angelico, and Jack Evans in an eight-man tag match.
  • Cody Rhodes vs. Matt Sydal.
  • Jake Hager vs. Wardlow.
  • Jon Moxley returns.
  • Chris Jericho on color commentary.
  • Snoop Dogg appears.

So, Snoop Dogg. If you have been watching the TNT show, you know that Stardust, Ahsoka Tano, Martha Stewart’s sidepiece and that country music chick who abandoned her bandmates as soon as she got famous are resurrecting one of the most boring TV show concepts ever. Shida vs Abadon has been built up very well over the last few weeks. Happy to see a good monster vs monster (Hager/Wardlow) match.

Tonight’s Sprots:

Brain Damage Sports:

  • AEW Dynamite: 9:00pm, TNT
  • WWE NXT: 9:00pm, USA

NBA Basketball

  • Boston Celtics at Miami Heat: 5:45pm, ESPN
  • Los Angeles Clippers at Golden State Warriors: 8:05pm, ESPN

College Basketball

  • Arkansas at Tennessee: 5:00pm, ESPN2
  • Georgetown at Butler: 5:00pm, FS1
  • Oklahoma at Baylor: 7:00pm, ESPN2
  • Seton Hall at Creighton: 7:00pm, FS1

Let the beatings commence.

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Joliet Jake Delhomme
My wife has been told to bring my ashes to the bleachers of Wrigley Field and pour me into the ivy. Cubs, Bears, LA Kings, Arsenal and GWS Giants fan. Active boycotter of all college sports, having sat in a classroom with a "Student-Athlete". I also watch NASCAR and golf on the weekends, because I like naps.
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clint greasewood

They really need a better halftime show next time, this one was violent as hell.

yeah right

My favorite line of the day was from our regular cleaning lady at work.

She’s great and always upbeat, sometimes you need to work on a language barrier but I get her.

I showed her the first footage of the shit that went down today and she said “What is that?”

I said “The Capitol in Washington DC.”

She said “Not good.”

I said “No Bueno.” And she shook her head.

She said “What is wrong with them?”

I said “Trump. Trump let them do this.”

She said “Why? What is wrong with him?”

I said “He’s a baby. A little baby.”

She said “No. Baby has a brain.”

Doktor Zymm

I like her

yeah right

She’s awesome.

She said “We are all the same. You. Me. Everyone!”

She’s awesome.

Recovery Whiskey

Capitol Police— Incompetent fuckups or complicit traitors?

Dunstan

For now my estimate is that it’s 60% “not given enough backup to do a proper job,” 20% “incompetent fuckups,” and 20% “complicit traitors.”

But eventually we’ll learn more.

Doktor Zymm

Enough turncoats taking selfies with the insurrectionists that the remainder were overwhelmed. There were definitely some issues that need investigation, including at least one where it appears the police removed the barricades, but some of them were legit overpowered, which must have been terrifying, not to mention how shitty it is to be fucked over like that by your traitor coworkers

blaxabbath

Traitors.

Don’t pay them for the shift and string them up.

yeah right

Brother DJ TAJ and I had a “get it all out there” diatribe and it was cathartic as fuck.

I’ve got one conclusion. I’m going to stay here until election day of 2028. I’ll reassess then and retire accordingly.

Cuz if this shit ain’t sorted by then? There’s no way in FUCK I’m spending my well earned retirement dollars on this shit show.

Doktor Zymm

Panama and Ecuador are both worth a look, although who knows what the world will be like in 8 years

yeah right

I’m leaning Ecuador and if I didn’t have daughters and granddaughters I’d be at 10,000 feet on the equator as we speak.

Doktor Zymm

I’ve always wondered, is havoc the only thing you can wreak, or do you also wreak iron to get wrought iron?

yeah right

You can wreak hell! And get a terrible hangover.

Doktor Zymm

Next DFOcon we should see how many things we can wreak!

yeah right

I could wreak havoc on a sushi bar right now.

Viva La Tabula Raza

You can also cry havoc, right before you let slip the dogs of war.

Col. Duke LaCross

“Whatever farm animal of war, Lana!”

Gumbygirl

Thank God, it’s Jeopardy!

Sharkbait

Well, today sucked.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Did it? Four members of the Trump cult died, one via a bullet through the neck. That can’t be all bad.

Doktor Zymm

She was a SoCal Qcumber, not a huge loss

BrettFavresColonoscopy

4?

blaxabbath

A good start.

Doktor Zymm

Well, finding out about all this while in the air was weird as all hell. While I hate to see those assholes desecrating DC, and I can’t wait to see them come up on federal charges, I’m thinking this is a death rattle. The last convulsions of Trumpism where the body violently evacuates the bowels.

The Georgia Senate seats are far more significant, and they’re the good kind of shocking. It’ll probably take a few days to clear the trash out of DC, so anyone in the area please be careful, but the country is already moving on

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The trash should have been arrested and/or shot

Doktor Zymm

I get why they didn’t start shooting, but I am completely boggled as to how they only arrested 13 people

Viva La Tabula Raza

Because white people are protestors, not rioters or terrists.

Col. Duke LaCross

Exactly. The cops just put out a “do you recognize any of these people” bulletin and all I can think is, “YOU HAD THEM RIGHT THERE IN THE GODDAMN BUILDING AND JUST LET THEM WALK OUT.”

Mr. Ayo

Pretty sure the priority was deescalation and get them out for now. They have all the video they need to later find them. And, of course, their own social media posts.

Redshirt

Alright, I’m going to bed. I don’t think there’s anyway this day can get any worse in the next 88 minutes.

Viva La Tabula Raza

148 minutes in my time zone, so I am not as optimistic as you.

clint greasewood
Dunstan

“The evidence of fraud is OVERWHELMING! OVERWHELMING, I say! I mean, no court to date has found so, but it really is! Oh, and uh, we’ll have some new evidence tomorrow. Yeah, that’s the ticket.”

Viva La Tabula Raza

Which one? The suspense is killing me.

clint greasewood

My guess would be Tammy Duckworth or Tammy Baldwin

Viva La Tabula Raza

Yeah, I can see that. But why would they let him have their cell numbers, though?

clint greasewood
ballsofsteelandfury

So, you people active on the Twitter, can you get #cancelTrump to trend?

Thank you for your service.

Redshirt

I’m not sure what is sadder: Americans invading America or the Senate administrational staff taking 5 minutes to count the votes.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I can answer that. The former. And it should be “so-called Americans.” Those people don’t understand what the fuck America is about.

Last edited 12 days ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Redshirt

McConnell is still keeping the Senate in session? Why can’t they spend the time napping until the House votes?

Horatio Cornblower

Feinstein needs that time for her transfusion, Mitch!

Redshirt

I just hope no one feeds Cruz after midnight.

Viva La Tabula Raza

That happened when he was elected.

clint greasewood

BREAKING: After being banned from social media platforms, Trump turns to OnlyFans.

litre_cola

Due to his ban he has to be heading to Parler.

Horatio Cornblower

I’d be stunned if this hasn’t already happened.

Viva La Tabula Raza

They’ll probably give him his own column and podcast on OAN and Newsmax.

Redshirt

I’m honestly surprised he didn’t have an Oval Office address just to bitch at Twitter.

Redshirt

Vice President Pence servicing his role as President of the Senate: “The objection is not sustained. Now, will you assholes have a heart and let me lose!”

King Hippo

I had to turn tv off like 7:30. Even the raw loveliness of Nicolle Wallace could not keep me sane.

Horatio Cornblower

Well, now we’re on to the raw loveliness of Lawrence O’Donnell, so you probably made the right choice.

Horatio Cornblower

I have about 5 conference calls, pre-trials, and depositions tomorrow, and I am going to be prepared for exactly none of them.

Old School Zero

So, same shit, different day?

Horatio Cornblower

You know, for a ghost you’re kind of a dick.

Old School Zero

I graduated from the Statler and Waldorf as the ghosts of Marley and Marley school of haunting

Horatio Cornblower

Ah, an Ivy man I see.

Old School Zero

Pinkies up for pinkos

Redshirt

Oh good, Rob Portman voted no. There is hope for the Republican Party.*

*said hope is equal to the hope of me having intimate relations with a woman in the 2020s.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Fact check: there is no hope for the Republican party.

Unconfirmed on your hope of coitus, but i know a few DFOers with gently used Fleshlights to offer

Horatio Cornblower

I have to say I’m not terribly impressed with 2021 so far.

montythisseemsstrangetome

Prob cuz ur not drinking.

Mr. Ayo

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Viva La Tabula Raza

“May you live in interesting times.”

—Ancient Chinese curse.

clint greasewood

December 37, 2020

Redshirt

No, its 13/6/2020. Tredecember 6, 2020.

Senor Weaselo

Smarch 6th.

Redshirt

Let’s handle this like my old High School Marching Band post-Band Camp overnight trip to the YMCA: whoever falls asleep doesn’t get to participate and gets tied with duct taped.

Senor Weaselo

Look at Lindsey Graham with the come to Jeebus and taking the orange boot out of his mouth. For once. Even if too little/late.

Last edited 12 days ago by Senor Weaselo
Redshirt

“Way to go, Lindsey Graham!”

Those words and punctuations can be used in that order?!

Last edited 12 days ago by Redshirt
clint greasewood

Lady G has been drinking tonight.

SonOfSpam

Cosmotinis pack a punch!

Viva La Tabula Raza

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Gumbygirl

He has ruined what little legacy he had, and it appears to be sinking in to his pea brain that he is at best, irrelevant. And possibly is going to get primaried by the magas in his next election cycle.

SonOfSpam

HUSH Y’ALL MISS LINDSAY IS SPEAKIN

Col. Duke LaCross

It’s Lady G!

King Hippo

In his/her finest eveningwear?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Fuck that bitch sideways with a pungi-stick infected rusty chainsaw.

SonOfSpam

She’s tryin to rehab her rep, and I ain’t havin it.

Put this guy out to pasture (in Gitmo).

Horatio Cornblower

My senior Senator just absolutely picked his nose under his mask on MSNBC.

SonOfSpam

Isn’t that Scott Brown?

Horatio Cornblower

Blumenthal.

Most dangerous place in CT used to be between him and a camera.

SonOfSpam

A politician? No way. But yeah, while I generally like him, he seems douchey.

Horatio Cornblower

He’s calmed way down now that he’s in his 70’s and has no further political ambitions.

Viva La Tabula Raza

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your friend’s nose.

Horatio Cornblower

Seeing some video now from the streets, on Twitter, (which I can use but Trump can’t) (makes DX gesture), and it appears that the DC police are starting to crack heads.

SonOfSpam

Why? Did a black guy show up?

Redshirt

People are quitting the White House left and right and talk about the 25th Amendment. We finally found the line that needed crossed. And a HELL of a line it was.

Last edited 12 days ago by Redshirt
Horatio Cornblower

Oh sure, you lie, cheat, and steal for 4 years, but you incite one little insurrection….

Viva La Tabula Raza

That line was crossed several years ago, but Republicans didn’t give a fuck. They hate anyone that isn’t white and well off. They hate non-white America. And they have proved it.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The people that quit are like deputy press secretary, social secretary, and COS to FLOTUS.

Fuck these unprincipled baboons.

litre_cola

Spam, this is a yearly event….

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p416Pvgo0WA

SonOfSpam

Well, at least the rubes are getting fleeced.

But if there’s a hell, that’s what mine will look like.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Hey, Cunt Howley, “irregardless” is not a word, you stupid fuck.

SonOfSpam

He was elected over incumbent Claire McCaskill because Missouri.

Horatio Cornblower

Also McCaskill kind of sucks, if we’re being honest.

King Hippo

She’s a pretty kickass pundit now that she ain’t got to watch her mouth.

Old School Zero

If we don’t persecute the scum that did this it will only happen again and worse. We have to find an answer to the question of “Who’s going to stop them?”

This also applies to NFL ownership and the NCAA.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

100% this. If these people aren’t stopped here and now they will come back on the 20th with guns.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m so livid at the Capitol Police. These folks should have been arrested and more than one terrorist should have been shot. They took up arms against our government and walked away with one casualty. For shame.

Old School Zero

Cops everywhere can’t help but keep showing us whose side they’re on.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Capitol po-po taking selfies with “protestors” was a very telling gesture.

Horatio Cornblower

Hey look, we found out what it would take to get OSZ back!

Old School Zero

FUCK YOU I’M A GHOST ooooooOOOOOOooooooo

SonOfSpam

Wearing a white sheet does not make you a ghost.

Old School Zero

I’m gonna haunt you worst of all for that

King Hippo

Stomp stomp CLAP!!

Senor Weaselo

Thank goodness NSZ hasn’t returned.

Yet.

Old School Zero

I’d tell you where he was today but you could probably guess