Self-righteous crap and crying: what a way to start 2021.
Never underestimate media and charisma. Yeah, charisma; folks in leadership positions do acquire it, even despite personality. Also, overexposure turns the mind into mush. So when a powerful figure speaks, the minions do not require a direct message to stoke irrational hatred into a frenzy. And we have to hold those leaders accountable—and I mean YOU, Joe Judge. Your “TANKING!” shade at the Eagles was more ham-fisted than Eric Ebron, the Roberto Durán of tight ends.
Listen, there’s plenty to cry over a 6-10 season. But out of missing a division title because you needed Philly to win a game with only draft implications… Those Giants fans, the Joisey dwellers kind in particular, achieved another level of Douche.
Is it higher? Lower? No: it’s Another Level. It stands alone. Perhaps it’s the environmental collapse in the area, a toxic landscape overflowing with dysenteric tweets and oral farts from Mike Francesa and ilk. I curse the marketing arm of “Uncut Gems” for not displaying in 35-pt. font that THAT WINDBAG appeared in an otherwise uninspired and boring film.
To be clear: Francesa made “Uncut Gems” hateable in full. I rather see Harvey Keitel’s stoned babbling and cock waddling in “Bad Lieutenant” on loop. Now THAT was an educational little film about gambling.
I had to get that off my chest because, honestly: the death, pestilence, layoffs, politics, and riots are getting old. Kids indoors, however,
My personal policy
Full commiseration and respect for folks who’ve been tending to their distance-learning kids, on top of adult crap getting very, very real. Hey, at least the Patriots failed to make the 2020 playoffs and we’ll soon be living life without the NFC East. We just have to tolerate Team, although DC’s loss would come at the expense of, you know…
NEWS
By which I mean NFL news, obvs. It’s teh playoffs dammit.
No new positives for The Factory, meaning Covid, not anything else from ownership down (as is usual bidness for The Pauls). Head coach Kevin Stefansky remains unavailable for Sunday night’s game, as are G Joel Bitonio and WR KhaDarel Hodge. Cleveland’s facility has been closed since last Friday, but the team planned a “virtual walk-through” today.
Virtual TJ Watt
The Sadness @ Rooneys Wild Card game will not host fans, “other than friends and family”. Espen reported that a Pennsylvania state order does not allow more than 2,500 to congregate at the stadium, including coaches, players, and other Roethlisberger apologists. El Ben, true to form, bitched:
“Some states are going to allow a lot more fans than others. Is that fair? Is it not fair? How does it make it equal? There are a lot of unanswered questions, but that is the year we are living in.”
As of 6 PM Central, rhetorical questions remain the most chickenshit way to complain.
In a brief glance at Twitter this afternoon, I saw a lotta conjuring of Deshaun Watson trades by media types. This non-event sprouted legs because, yesterday, the Texans hired Nick Caserio as their new GM and, some time after, The Shaun tweeted “some things never change…”—and then that tweet was deleted. The tweet of course was a stab at Houston management, and had absolutely nothing to do with yesterday’s seditious romp in DC. Again: if you got a gripe, state it plainly dammit!1!1
Chase Young was diagnosed with “youthful exuberance” by Ron Rivera, after the talented rookie called Tom Brady “the GOAT” whom everyone wants to sack. Side effects include Bulletin Board Material (per Dr. Rivera), and a “fun game” (per hoove-footed demon QB). Here’s your headline: “Cliché Upends Washington”.
In news that concern the NFC East, the Iggles will not renew the contracts of Marty Mornh—
Via giphy.com
Oof. That last item caused a Mel Kiper pop-up vid from espen’s site. Let’s switch to the House Organ for player moves:
Activated: K Stephen Gostkowski (TEN), from the Covid-19 list. Also activated for Sunday, my meme for Gost shanks, the classy one:
Practicing: DL DeForest Buckner (IND)
Clenching: Butts (BUF). Mr. Buckner makes the Clots scary. Plus, the Frank Reich Homecoming Vibes are strong. Da Humps may throw a wrench to my Tits @ Bills AFC Championship prediction.
Counterpoint: WRs Stephon Diggs (oblique) and Cole Beasley (knee) are back at practice.
Not slighted: the Ravens. I’m not discounting the Ravens, at all. Hell, objective dispenser of wisdom Brian Billick said “The Baltimore Ravens are the best team in the NFL right now” (video). That’s the headline, which I take as true because there’s no way I’m watching a 13 min. video, no matter the charlatan.
Seen: WR Mike Evans (TB), at practice, testing knee. Still a maybe for Saturday night.
First-Team Reps: QB Taylor Heinicke (WAS). Alex Smith is officially questionable, including playing status. If I were a gambler, I’d jump on the Bucs at -8.5 (per Draftkings). This seems a better bet than Saints at -10 (Id.).
Fine Without Practicing: RB Alvin Kamara (NOL). The source is Drew Brees, per a PFT piece that put in my computer a Peter King vid. (No link, obviously, but now I have to sanitize and exorcise the motherboard.) The game against Chi**** is on Sunday, a timetable that may render Kamara available. This tilt (IMHO) has Anything Can Happen potential, which is PERFECT for a Nickelodeon broadcast! Yea the Bears are crap, but think about it: even during Brees’s peak, the Saints have been NFC Divisional perennials—and then something happens. Who can forget, against RAMMITTTT a couple years ago in the NFC Championship…
Brees’s INT in overtime.
Hey Arnold! RAWKS
Now that I think about it, Sean Payton is a Helga Pataki-type, which would make Taysom Hill his Arnold.
/mulls it over
Ah, maybe not. But when Matt Nagy talks about the Bers quarterback room, Nagy becomes a total Sid.
Tonight’s Sprots (all times Central, listing from ESPN):
5-Step Drops
Sixers @ Nets – 6:30 PM (TNT)
Cavs @ Grizz – 7 PM
Mavs @ Nugs – 9 PM (TNT)
Spurs @ Lakers – 9 PM
Wolves @ Blazers – 9 PM
Fútbol
Copa Sudamericana Semis (first leg), the B-Tourney of South American clubs
-Coquimbo Unido (CHI) hosts Defensa y Justicia (ARG) – 6:30 PM
“Defense and Justice”—an Argie club named with a Fascist-y slogan? Well I never…
-Chilean Top Flight (Apertura)
Deportes Iquique hosts Universidad Católica – 6:30 PM
Women’s NCAA Basketball
Crowded slate; full listing here. Televised games below:
Northern Iowa @ Valparaíso – 6 PM (ESPN3)
Drake @ Evansville – 6 PM (ESPN3)
That’s a [sic] for the listing. Dunno if ESPN3 broadcast both on split-screen.
Auburn @ Ole Miss – 6 PM (SEC)
LSU @ Alabama – 6 PM (SEC)
Georgia Tech @ Clemson – 6 PM (ACCNX)
#2 Louisville @ Virginia Tech – 7 PM (ACCNX)
Notre Dames @ BC – 9 PM (ACCN)
#10 KY @ #8 Texas A&M – 7:30 PM (SEC)
Tennis
2021 Delray Beach Open (First Round)
McKenzie McDonald (USA) vs. #6 San Querrey (USA) – 6 PM
Indentured Roundball
#5 Iowa @ Maryland – 6 PM (ESPN 2)
Indiana U @ #8 Wisconsin – 6 PM (FS 1)
Cincinnati @ SMU – 6 PM (ESPNU)
DUUUUUVAL St. @ Eastern KY – 7 PM (ESPN+)
BYU @ #1 Gonzaga – 7:30 PM (ESPN)
For the Love of God!
#12 Illinois @ Northwestern – 8 PM (BTN)@
USC @ Arizona – 8 PM (ESPN 2)
Nevahdah @ SD State – 9 PM (CBSSN)
Wash. State @ Cal – 9 PM (PAC 12)
And to finish on a high note, let’s talk about Donald Trump. Those of us under his sphere of crapulence still have to endure him until January 20—and not “Maybe!” He gone, out. And you gotta hand it to 45: he has charisma and speaks hard truths. Especially about his favorite topic: himself
We got a Playoff Picks Pool! Here’s the link to join. Nothing to buy, a lifetime of glory to win. Plus a gently-used Fleshlight. All gifs via giphy.com.
BC Dick! I saw this the other day and thought of you.
https://youtu.be/Jb6bfZFDECU
I appreciate that, thank you. Beavers seems so obvious now and vastly superior to cats.
Was it the pussies to beavers connection or just that the noble beaver and the great game of curling are both so Canadian that they could not be kept separate, like cheez and whiz?
It was the trifecta, Beavers, curling, Canada. All of the good things that the world needs more of!
It ain’t right to lose on purpose. Philly shamed themselves. And we’re unprofessional. If you want to be a winning organuzayin every year you should play to win every play every game. You can’t ask guys to put their bodies on the line every week unless you have the same commitment. Shameful behaviour.
Cam newton looked like he was having a back spasm every time he threw the ball for the second half of the season, no? I bet billy brings Rosen it Darnold or even Minshew in and wins 9-10 next year.
Happy new year.
Since the hallowed days of Randall Cunningham, black QBs have thrived in Philly. Cam as an Eagle, sounds good to me.
Cam is toast. He’s been seeing Freddie cause he is spastic. Hurts will do just fine. They should’ve let him try to win it. Shameful. Like falling down the stairs in the summer.
I don’t care where he ends up, as long as he isn’t wearing Patriot gear next season.
WELCOME BACK!
I’m wearing that exact thing right now.
Brocky, I haven’t watched the fight, but I at least heard about what Hydra had. Watch Razer vs. Tornado, Sixth Wars Grand Final.
Hell, everyone should watch it, it’s one of the most controversial fights in robot combat history even now, over 18 years later.
Call out of the blue from my favourite nephew last night, he got engaged to his long time GF over New Year’s. He’s a math teacher/track coach at Medfield HS in Richie Rich suburb of Boston, and my future niece-in-law graduated Suffolk Law in Boston a couple years ago, passed the bar first go. Very proud of them both, although I am trying to convince him to use his math degree to get into cryptography (which he loves) and go to work for the NSA at Hanscom AFB, or go AF or USN reserves for crypto. Maybe someday.
Anyway, the wedding is not till April 2022, I told him I wasn’t sure if I could make it with the COVID and my age and underlying med conditions. He said not a problem, he was planning on bringing his posse down to San Antonio for the bachelor party if I was down with that.
I was pretty touched by this. I think I need to re-write my will.
That’s cool! I’m pretty sure you’ll make it to the wedding though.
DM me for the proper spelling of my name for your will revision
So, I joined a rather interesting playoff pickem, where you pick what is basically a double fantasy team (2 QB, 4 WR, etc) and then you have them through the entire playoffs, so if a players team isn’t playing that week either because of a bye or because they’re out, no points for that slot. Most points at the end wins, and it’s winner take all.
I’m thinking Brees and Brokeback for QBs, I don’t think the upside of either Mahomes or Rodgers makes up for their having a max of 3 games vs a max of 4
Still working through all the other spots, this is some strategery yo!
Might be some value in picking players at any position from contenders in the same conference. So Mahomes and Brokeback, or Rodgers and Brees, so that you’ve got a good shot at one surviving to the SB.
I considered that, but I think I’m best going with two QBs who both have the potential to play 4 games. If you think about it in terms of expected value, using the odds floating around, GB and KC are both about 45% to win their conferences, so both about 45% to play 3 games. Meanwhile, BUF and NO are both about 61% to appear in the conference championships, or 61% to play 3 games, plus the added probability of a 30ish% chance of playing 4 games. So to pick Rodgers over Brees or Brokeback I would have to expect 10+ more points out of him EVERY game, which is a pretty big ask.
Other positions have more variance, so there’s more room to hedge. Of course, the alternative is to lean heavy on NO/BUF. That might not be a bad strategy seeing as it’s winner take all. If I lose, it really doesn’t matter if I lose by a million, lol.
I imagine that website is totally SFW
At least the first four or five pictures at least.
Right now, getting a PS5 is easier than a DC Airbnbn with a gunrack.
That looks like a show that should rival Downton Abbey or Upstairs Downstairs as an intellectual power-house.
huh referees helping a wisconsin team. go figure
Earlier tonight I said to myself, “If you can eat more than 18 chicken wings, the United States will, over the course of several decades, regain its former status as a leader of the free world”.
/I was only able to eat 15 wings-America, it’s all over now, Baby Blue
15 wings? What are you, on a diet?
with or without bones?
If Dennis Kucinich was still in office none of this would have ever happened smddh
senior you get your signal back, because, you missed a very “unique” fight
No spoilers! I’m fixing to watch it in a few.
Was it Hydra and HUGE? Because no luck, I’ll watch it all later.
yeah that fight.
“unique”. can’t remember the last time i saw a fight like that
I wonder (pre-viewing) how Hydra would match up compared to how Bronco did last year (poorly).
/This is obviously the spoiler free thoughts
Interesting to say the least.
Unique indeed.
I read some insane bullshit on Twitter a little while ago. Some douchebag from the National Review said that the cure for Trumpism is a return to Reaganism. Jesus Christ on a fifty foot cracker! The comment section was lit though. One guy said that the cure for shitting your pants is pooping your trousers. Makes sense to me!
By Reaganism, maybe they meant going senile?
Actually it is Alzheimers, that way they can forget their part in this shit show, or as I call it, the reboot of “Spring time for Hitler and Germany”.
Reagan? Psshh. Give me George Murphy or bust.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=KCEvlbFssTo
And Besty DeVos resigns.
She pretty much managed to do all the destruction she set out to do that she could get away with.
Is the 25th Amendment moot if there aren’t enough cabinet members? Maybe Pelosi should whip up some commission rules while she’s dropping the new impeachment charges.
Yachts and Prayers.
[stolen from twitter]
Saw this guy being interviewed yesterday, Huffpost photographer stuck in the Capitol bldg. This guy’s butt-chin is a Grand Canyon compared to Bill O’Brien’s, which is a drainage rivulet in comparison.
Dude needs to grow a full beard like Billy Gibbons to hide that thing.
I can’t decide whether I hate McConnell or Trump more. I guess it’s situational and depends who is doing the most disgusting stuff on any given day.
For me it’ll always be mike pence.
in a few years it’ll be McConnell.
history will not be kind to trump. the war crimes of previous presidents will be viewed threw a lens, while the pettiness and treachery of trump will be magnified
For me it’s Trump and it’s not even close. McConnell did everything within his legal powers to establish a permanent ruling minority for conservatives. Trump is trying to destroy America.
McConnell was just following von Schleicher’s playbook from Germany in 1932.
Aren’t those the same thing?
Not really, no. Mitch McConnell’s America would still be a functional society. Trump’s would devolve into complete anarchy.
For white men.
Trump is trying to destroy America
I don’t agree with this. He’s not capable of deliberately acting towards an end goal. At all. He’s just dialing down into his base instincts. That’s it.
Fair point. The destruction of America would basically be collateral damage.
Again, it’s Lawful Evil vs. Chaotic Evil
When the airplane is on the taxi-way, that area just over the tree-line is where I live; more to the left.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWXkDCafaCQ
+
Can’t you just post the street and city names so I can look it up on Google maps without having to spend 43 minutes listening to that Hill Country hick?
@Viva La Tabula Raza
Originally I had the wrong link, which was Lyndon Johnson instead of a jet engine. I believe I corrected it within 60 seconds, but you obviously saw it.
That happens to me a lot too. Thought I cut and pasted one link and it posts the previous youtube i posted or some shit.
What happened to LBJ?
got mooned by forrestt gump
Per Wikipedia, after he left office, he went into a minor self-destructive spiral that his body couldn’t handle.
Ascended to Heaven, propelled by his folksy integrity.
-Jack Valenti
–
And Jumbo.
https://www.texasmonthly.com/politics/giant/
I know of a Steve Bartman Murder Fantasy blog. It’s a .org. DM for the rest of the domain name ($7.50 USD per letter).
Damnit, why didn’t I put down a prop bet that Dana Bash would remark on the President’s “new tone”? Easiest money ever.
She’s the worst and has been since she cheated on her first husband.
In what I call the fucking worst, the upstairs TV, with which I watch BattleBots, is a ball of static, preventing me from watching the aforementioned BattleBots. Fuck it, what’s the Spectrum password for Discovery?
If Casa Weaselo has good internet, consider cutting the cord and getting an Amazon Fire Stick. As long as you don’t have like a large house and a dozen devices eating the bandwidth, you should be fine.
Padre Weaselo is threatening to do it. No idea why we switched to Spectrum from FiOS for that reason. (The reason is it’s cheaper.)
need a play by play?
A suggestion:
The Prince solo that starts at 3:28 is just fucking otherwordly. And where does the guitar go at the end?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6SFNW5F8K9Y
There is an ad campaign in the UK celebrating Vegan-uary. Eat no meat in January while on lockdown! Pair it with Dry January and it’s basically population control.
No doubt the British cattle/pig/sheep raisers are fucking loving that.
January – the official month of preachy, Puritanical fuckadoos!
Remember when George Bush SENIOR was considered a bad enough President to sample in acid metal?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imqvLToWH7k
In Fear of a Black Hat their concert tour was called the “Bush Was a Dickhead Tour”.
I loved that film! Needs a re-watch, along with I’m Gonna Get You Sucka
/when I met my now ex-wife, she had a “George Bush Couldn’t Run A Laundromat” bumper sticker
People always forget there’s a difference between Lawful Evil and Chaotic Evil.
Also, as an NC State supporter, I should forever know it can always get worse
Preach brother.
Yeah, I know. Just when you think _____ has reached rock bottom, they break out a backhoe.
Papa roach – Burn lyrics – YouTube
I’ve told this story many a time before, but one time I stood next to some of the guys in Papa Roach at an airport baggage carousel. They were extremely pleasant and polite to some dude who asked if they were musicians.
Fun!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iLPqUvRVxz4&feature=push-sd&attr_tag=tE2vQVqM3Ym5NNnk%3A6
Deshaun Watson trade rumors: Bears, Jets, Patriots among 12 most logical suitors if Texans deal star QB – CBSSports.com
Let’s see who’s number one…
Stewie traumatized by Chris’s porn magazine – YouTube
“I coulda got a ninth round pick and a signed Tim Tebow jersey for Watson if I was still in charge!”
-Bill O’Brien, under a bridge, staring intently into his dog’s one good eye
Johnny Cash – Hurt (Official Music Video) – YouTube
my dad absolutely REFUSED to believe that the Johnny cash version was a cover of a nineties band he hated
…and as an apology for speaking nicely about Trump, I am going to stare at the photo of Hikaru Shida. In the words of another Hikaru: OH MY!
I bet on Defense y Justicia all the time. Yes, I am gambling on SudAmericanosexyfutbol this eve. I don’t have a problem.
There’s so much to like about twitter but I hate it so much.
My Stupid Take on Joe Judge:
-his throwback Authoritarian Football Coach thingy endeared him to oldies Mara and Gettleman during the hiring process
-in the short term he will get results because his OC and DC are very capable individuals
-during a rebuilding process he will get results
-once the team gets successful (if it does) his act will wear thin quickly
-down the road he will be a very successful college football coach thingy
The Orange Zit on the Ass of Humanity is back on Twitter, and posted a pretty magnanimous for him video. Admitted he lost, called the riots wrong, appeal to the better angles of our nature and all that and was overall was nice. He barely lied once or twice!
Either that or the White House Senior Staff got the special effects guys from Marvel and Disney to do a very good CGI of Donald Trump.
So, congratulations President Trump for doing the bare minimum! Its all we ever asked of you!
Fuck him
Yeah, he doesn’t get a pat on the back for acting like a sentient human being. You know he doesn’t want to and it is an act.
I didn’t say he was acting like a sentient human being. I said “bare minimum”; that’s not my highest of complements.
He acted like a 4th Grader giving a verbal Book Report. I had the same tone he did when I talked about “Sarah, Plane and Tall” a book I still don’t know a thing about…which my teacher was kind enough to let my father know when she called him in the last laps of the Daytona 500 (I am not making this up!).
I can’t believe people are falling for this shit. Give him 8 hours and he’ll be back to inciting another fucking riot.
it’s just the simplest/basest human defense mechanism – rationalization so we don’t all lose our goddamned minds
Come on, man.
Fuck, DonT needs to be in the meme/gif Hall of Fame
Sorry to hear. Don’t blame her too much. Trump’s a conman and she fell for it. It what he does. In a few years, all those Trumpers are going to suddenly go, “I can’t believe I voted for that son of a bitch.”
The amount of lines that were crossed long before yesterday was enough to kill whitney houston. Fuck all of them.
Nah, they’ll stick with the “look what you made me do” defense, blaming the Dems for nominating Hilary and Biden, who were communist pedophile space lizards, and leaving them with no choice but to vote for Trump.
That’s been the line on social today. “This is what happens when you take away their freedom”. Fuck all of them.
The party of personal responsibility, and law & order, ladies and gentlemen!
I’ve been thinking about that, the Republican Party splintering into a Trump Republican Party and a pre-Trump/Tea Party/Contract with America Conservative Party. The only problem is that I not sure if they is any of them left in the party. The body is so cancerous, you can’t remove anything!
There are no Tea Party types left. They all became rabid Trumpies. There’s a few neocons around, but not that many. The rest are “libertarians” that got into bed with people who want to introduce the Christian version of Sharia Law.
I was just going down the time line. If they were a pokemon, the Contract with America is the first form, the Tea Partyers is the middle form and the Trumpers is the final form.
I don’t blame people who voted for him four years ago. Those who voted for him again, though? They can get fucked. They knew exactly what they were signing up for and did it anyways.
It weird, though. My mom didn’t vote for him in 2016 but voted for him in 2020. She’s a good Christian woman, volunteers and everything. But when we talk about Trump, its like something clicks and she becomes a different person. Its almost like she’s under a spell or something.
But she is getting up there and Dementia runs on her side of the family, so that could be in play, as well.
If she’s like my father in law, it’s a steady diet of right wing slop from Fox and OANN. Totally brainwashing people. They need to lose their broadcast licences, and then maybe we can claw them back from the abyss.
Found a funny but saddy:
That would be a banner if we could embed pictures in the banner.
I would suggest an update, but that’s the last time the Powers that Be did that, it started my Bruno Sammartino-esque reign as Banner Holder.
Always true, but Big Ben can eat shit
As a native Yinzer, and Stillers fan, I agree.
Me too. I am proud to say I have always believed they should have cut him for the rapiness.
That’s an acceptable response for any situation.
Yeah, he needs to retire and the Steelers need to draft his successor. Dopey Mason ain’t gonna do it.