Sexy Friday, Wild Card Bitches! edition

Yes, it’s THAT weekend!

You can already see that 2021 will be a LOT better than 2020 because we have ourselves 6 (SIX!) Wild Card games this weekend!

And there are some very tasty matchups, as you can see below:

  • Saturday 10:00 AM Pacific – Team Nipple at Team Dick
  • Saturday 1:40 PM Pacific – Team Ass at Team Boobs
  • Saturday 5:15 PM Pacific – Team Areola at Team Clitoris
  • Sunday 10:00 AM Pacific – Team Labia at Team Balls
  • Sunday 1:40 PM Pacific – Team Taint at Team Lips
  • Sunday 5:15 PM Pacific – Team Finger at Team Butthole

Just kidding. That was my template. I figured it was too good not to share. Here is the real schedule:

  • Saturday 10:00 AM Pacific – Indianapolis Colts v Buffalo Bills (CBS)
  • Saturday 1:40 PM Pacific – Los Angeles Rams at Seattle Seahawks (FOX)
  • Saturday 5:15 PM Pacific – Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Washington Team (NBC)
  • Sunday 10:00 AM Pacific – Tennessee Titans at Baltimore Ravens (ABC, ESPN)
  • Sunday 1:40 PM Pacific – Chicago Bears at New Orleans Saints (CBS, Nick, Amazon Prime)
  • Sunday 5:15 PM Pacific – Cleveland Browns at Pittsburgh Steelers (NBC, Telemundo, Peacock)

You guys certainly rang out the old year in tremendous form as far as posting pics. Your hard (hee hee) work is below.

For those of you prudes that don’t like cheesecake or beefcake, click HERE to skip to the music videos.

***

Without further ado, here are the Top Twenty Five Pics of The Week:

h/t Unsurprised
h/t Unsurprised
h/t Joliet Jake Delhomme
h/t Joliet Jake Delhomme
h/t Joliet Jake Delhomme
h/t Joliet Jake Delhomme
h/t Brocky
h/t Joliet Jake Delhomme
h/t Joliet Jake Delhomme
h/t Brocky
h/t Brocky
h/t Joliet Jake Delhomme
h/t Joliet Jake Delhomme
h/t Brocky
h/t Brocky
h/t Joliet Jake Delhome
h/t Joliet Jake Delhomme
h/t Joliet Jake Delhomme
h/t Joliet Jake Delhomme
h/t Bloody Lethal
h/t SonOfSpam
h/t Brocky
h/t Mr. Ayo
h/t Brocky
h/t Brocky (LF)

***

YOU’RE-A-PRUDE

***

And now, for the music!

As I mentioned before, I’ve decided that I must take up the mantle that tWBS ran with and help to make this world a better place. I will do this in the one way he couldn’t: By introducing you to good music!

Today we are back to the puzzles! Enjoy these fine songs and figure out what the common theme is among them. I will give up to three hints in the comments. I’ll warn you, it’s a toughie this week.

I’ll give you one hint now: Wait for iiiiiiit…

Song Number One:

Tears for Fears – Shout

Canción Número Dos:

a-ha – Take on Me

Chanson Numéro Trois:

Simple Minds – Don’t You Forget About Me

Canzone numero quattro:

Dexy’s Midnight Runners – Come On Eileen

Canção número cinco

The Bangles – Eternal Flame

Seigarren zenbakia:

Stevie Wonder and Paul McCartney – Ebony and Ivory

***

That’s all for this week, folks! Be good to each other and try to stay the fuck away from stupid people. That’s not COVID-19 advice, that’s just general good sense. See you next week!

ONE MORE THING!

Do not forget to join the DFO Playoff Pickem Contest for a brand new chance to win a gently-used Fleshlight! Link is below:

https://fantasy.espn.com/games/nfl-pigskin-playoff-pickem-2020/group?id=f11fd5a7-b0ab-496e-a3f1-db5cbd0d0b97&joining=true

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I can’t sleep. I’ve been thinking about whether the events of 1/6 were inevitable once it became certain that Trump would no longer be President. They probably were. Thank God there was as little bloodshed as there was.

Don T

comment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Aaaaand the bottle of Uncle Nearest is now empty.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You can’t sleep either, huh?

Don T

This treason stuff has me thinking about executions. Lethal injection is weaksauce, and seldom the good stuff. Electric chair is too goth. A hanging is quick and has more swinging than twitching.
But a firing squad has a cigarette AND a last request. I bet my last words would be “Menthol? YOU SWINE”

Last edited 10 days ago by Don T
SonOfSpam
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

COME ON BRO IT WAS JUST A JOKE!

Gary Coby was clearly joking, he was not giving the president his twitter account as some claimed.

He changed his name and profile pic to mock Twitter after they suspended @TeamTrump for posting the same presidential statement that reporters tweeted from the pool report. https://t.co/BWfm8GLVcD— Trump War Room (@TrumpWarRoom) January 9, 2021

BrettFavresColonoscopy
SonOfSpam

“Chickity China, the Chinese Chicken”

(oh great, chicken are spreading COVID-21)

Recovery Whiskey

So it’s not news anymore but Twitter finally canned The Donald.

Or as you might say, @Jack Offs Trump.

Viva La Tabula Raza

As much as I admire her, I have to ask: is Rachel Maddow Glennon’s giraffe-y cousin?

Last edited 10 days ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

I’ve got a plastic 1.75 of cheap gin I bought for my dad’s visits, but I don’t think I am going to see him any time soon. Need a simple solution. Tonic water?

Mr. Ayo

Correct.

Or rinse a glass with vermouth.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I have tonic. I do not have vermouth. Also, I have lime.

Mr. Ayo

Then you have a winner! Let’s drink!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Thank you for your support.
—Donald Trump, Junior

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Have you ever seen those videos where they run shitty vodka through a brita filter?

Otherwise just mix it with pineapple juice or something.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Oh dammit, Tabula Raza beat me to it

Viva La Tabula Raza

It rated being said twice.

Brocky

also, for ball’s theme, my first thought was songs from the car singing montage in film tommy boy because that was my first exposure to the midnight runners

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WU2Kb4F22HsaqC

Brocky

so five things:

.1. I couldn’t log in earlier today for some reason

2. @señor i looked up that robot wars fight, and as a kid who loved the orginal razer, that pissed me off

3.. i nearly spit out my drink at your jared fogel joke

4. @tabula raza, i really enjoyed the story about your nephew, i had a full length comment ready in a few minutes.

5. @joliet jake can never go wrong with taye conti. how the fuck wwe let her walk away is beyond my understanding

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Senor Weaselo

“Tornado cheated” vs. “Tornado did nothing wrong” is still a meme on Shuntposting to this day.

Brick Meathook

There’s a strong cold Santa Ana wind blowing through Los Angeles tonight.

Evil things happen.

Viva La Tabula Raza

In 1974, we moved from Keesler AFB in Mississippi to Norton AFB in San Bernardino CA. I did not understand that the lights I saw in the mountains at night (up where Gumbygirl lives nowadays). During the day, the smog was so bad that you could not even see the mountains. Fucking liberals have fixed that for us though.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Donald tried to get on Melania’s Twitter but she told him the password was Barron’s middle name plus his birthday.

— Joe Faina (@faination) January 9, 2021

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Tiffany 69?

Viva La Tabula Raza

If it’s Melania, it is not Twitter. It is Twatter.

Doktor Zymm

Reusing the mint and lime from my mojito to mix with cheaper rum and soda from the hotel shop. If I can’t dive, might as well drink instead!

herodotus450
herodotus450

trying to figure out what the “alt” key is really even used for; not much, is my conclusion, especially not worth the real estate of TWO keys on my board

Doktor Zymm

Don’t use the one on the right, that just translates whatever you type into racist slurs

herodotus450

◄ ╛ ` ƒ ¬

SonOfSpam

Damn, watching Trebek’s last show was rougher than I thought it would be. Needed a few minutes afterwards.

It was so constant for so long, just knowing there will never be a new show with Alex is really final.

Sorry. Just didn’t expect that. (feelings, that is)

Viva La Tabula Raza

Is it ok for me to say here that Kelly Loeffler is a fucking horrible cunt?comment image

clint greasewood

When does Lindsay Graham’s Grindr account get suspended?

rockingdog

found a funny:

me: if i wash my sheets now they’ll be dry by bedtime

brain: easy

me: i just have to remember to switch them

brain: remember to switch what

herodotus450

Watch out guys, he only has to get kicked off a few more social media platforms before trump will end up trying to make an account here.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m having a lot of fun watching Trump get deplatformed from twitter. He keeps trying to use alt accounts and they keep getting whacked down.

Doktor Zymm

Did they IP ban the White House? And he has no idea how VPN works?

SonOfSpam

“Vanky’s Pu Nani?”

Senor Weaselo

Is there a running list of attempted alts?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s just a few so far. But I bet they will try again at like 3 a.m. Here’s the current tally:

https://public.tableau.com/profile/benjamin.renton#!/vizhome/WhiteHouseResignationTracker/TwitterSuspensionsDashboard

Gumbygirl

# reallyrealdonaldtrump

Gumbygirl

@reallyrealdonaldtrump
@notreallydonaldtrump
@neverheardofdonaldtrump

rockingdog

LOL

they kicked Trump off twitter. Permanently.

thats ROCKING!

Viva La Tabula Raza

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Doktor Zymm

Is he capable of disguising himself with proper spelling, capitalization and grammar?

Viva La Tabula Raza

His lemmings will be suspicious.

Sharkbait
Doktor Zymm

Holy shit, i’ve actually watched that show!
Are they all songs that were performed live by shawn and gus at some point in the show?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Talk about pegging the obscurometer.

ArmedandHammered

Mother is interested in this “pegging the obscurometer” M. Pence

Gumbygirl

I watch Psych when I run across it. Good show, clever and funny writing.

rockingdog

playoffs baby!
Should be ROCKING!!!!

Horatio Cornblower

I only watched the ‘Come On Eileen’ video, so I’m going to guess that all of these songs were sponsored by Osh-Kosh-B’Gosh.

What do I win?

SonOfSpam

You are the overall winner.

Horatio Cornblower

Goddammit.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Never had kids, so it took a while for me to get that. Nice.

Doktor Zymm

‘Not a movie’ and a tv show pic, so something to do with tv shows. They were all the theme songs to failed pilots of ‘Chicago Profession’ shows?

Senor Weaselo

“They will be in the future!” -Dick Wolf

Doktor Zymm

Whenever I hear his name I’m reminded that the Roman word for brothel was lupanar, which literally translates as wolf-den, and prostitutes were lupa, so his name is basically whore-fucker

scotchnaut

Grrrr… Something to do with black and white or darkness and light.

Doktor Zymm

(Not so) fun fact: Stevie Wonder is blind because they used to use too much oxygen in incubators for preemies in hospitals, it fucks up the tiny blood vessels in the eyes. Despite not being a medical doctor, the Coney island preemie baby guy did a much better job and only gave supplemental oxygen when necessary due to lack of lung development.

SonOfSpam

Oxygen makes you blind
Love is blind
OMG

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXJ4TZSXtzc

Viva La Tabula Raza

Probably told this before, sorry. My first US concert was Sweet at Santa Monica Civic Center, early 1976 Give Us A Wink Tour, opening act was Sam Hagar touring on his first post-Montrose album. When Sweet played “AC/DC” there was a 15-foot papier mache cock and balls that dropped out of the ceiling and spurted out confetti cum-shots over the audience. As a 16 year old, I thought this was awesome.

SonOfSpam

I think you did tell this story before, but I’m glad you told it again since it’s awesome.

Doktor Zymm

I’m pretty sure that’s awesome at any age

Viva La Tabula Raza

Upon reflection, I think you are completely correct.

Senor Weaselo

When my dad went to NAMM he saw Stevie. But Stevie didn’t see him!

/Dad joke
//Dick joke

Doktor Zymm

Is it relevant that they’re all 80s?

SonOfSpam

Songs that have been featured on USA Network level shows?

SonOfSpam

Psych (which I think you like) and the guys being friends no homo but kinda homo?

SonOfSpam

Nah, I’m tired and ready to drink more.

Plus, I’ve never seen the show, so it feels dishonest.

SonOfSpam

Nope. AND IT WAS MY MAJOR!!!

Apparently it’s good (I trust your judgment) but I just never really got around to it (or any USA show).

Viva La Tabula Raza

Fuck, mate, I’ve never even fooking heard of it.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Balls, i bought this for a friend today but thought you might enjoy it too

unnamed.jpg
Sharkbait

I hope not

SonOfSpam

I thought one lights candles to be rid of butt smells.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

YUP

Doktor Zymm

Coconut oil, quaalude, and shame scented?

Horatio Cornblower

The Penn State showers?

Gumbygirl

I’m not gonna lie, I fucking loved quaaludes!

Horatio Cornblower

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LemonJello

They’re all songs that have been co-opted into commercials?

blaxabbath

The Moby album?

litre_cola

The Black Keys nod.

Dunstan

They’re all songs by people who have never been in my kitchen.

(Susannah, you’re welcome any time, though.)

LemonJello

Is he a licensed plumber?

Viva La Tabula Raza

THEM was Van Morrison’s first band. Obviously not the right answer tonight. I like Patti Smith’s version better, anyway.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3iONfzXJu1g

SonOfSpam

And now he’s a major knob. Sad.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Him and Eric Clapton both. Fuck those dozy cunts.

Last edited 10 days ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
SonOfSpam

Careful…Eric’s been known to drop children on people he doesn’t like.

Viva La Tabula Raza

He’ll need a helicopter.
Which I guess he can afford.
*Looks over shoulder when walking outside*

Viva La Tabula Raza

Speaking of Knobs, has anyone checked the Dirty Knobs album? Tom Petty’s guitarist Mike Campbell’s band. Favourite track: “Fuck That Guy.”

SonOfSpam

Good band name, good guitarist, good song title.

Will check it out.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Wrong about one thing. GREAT guitarist. He’s a fucking beast.

Doktor Zymm

I have very bad luck at scuba travel. Back Pre-covid I couldn’t dive in Koh Tao or Rarotonga because of unseasonal storms that exactly corresponded with the days I was there. Now, my night Manta ray dive has been canceled because someone who works at the dive shop I booked with shares equipment with someone who tested positive for Covid. Which wouldn’t be that improbable except that it’s on the Big Island of Hawai’i, where there are under 20 and usually under 10 cases per day, counting residents who are diagnosed off-island. It’s not a super close contact for them, so I’m sure they’ll test negative, and I’m glad they’re being so careful, it’s just kinda crazy to run into it here as opposed to back on the mainland where shit is surging like crazy

Viva La Tabula Raza