Yes, it’s THAT weekend!
You can already see that 2021 will be a LOT better than 2020 because we have ourselves 6 (SIX!) Wild Card games this weekend!
And there are some very tasty matchups, as you can see below:
- Saturday 10:00 AM Pacific – Team Nipple at Team Dick
- Saturday 1:40 PM Pacific – Team Ass at Team Boobs
- Saturday 5:15 PM Pacific – Team Areola at Team Clitoris
- Sunday 10:00 AM Pacific – Team Labia at Team Balls
- Sunday 1:40 PM Pacific – Team Taint at Team Lips
- Sunday 5:15 PM Pacific – Team Finger at Team Butthole
Just kidding. That was my template. I figured it was too good not to share. Here is the real schedule:
- Saturday 10:00 AM Pacific – Indianapolis Colts v Buffalo Bills (CBS)
- Saturday 1:40 PM Pacific – Los Angeles Rams at Seattle Seahawks (FOX)
- Saturday 5:15 PM Pacific – Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Washington Team (NBC)
- Sunday 10:00 AM Pacific – Tennessee Titans at Baltimore Ravens (ABC, ESPN)
- Sunday 1:40 PM Pacific – Chicago Bears at New Orleans Saints (CBS, Nick, Amazon Prime)
- Sunday 5:15 PM Pacific – Cleveland Browns at Pittsburgh Steelers (NBC, Telemundo, Peacock)
You guys certainly rang out the old year in tremendous form as far as posting pics. Your hard (hee hee) work is below.
For those of you prudes that don’t like cheesecake or beefcake, click HERE to skip to the music videos.
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Without further ado, here are the Top Twenty Five Pics of The Week:
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YOU’RE-A-PRUDE
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And now, for the music!
As I mentioned before, I’ve decided that I must take up the mantle that tWBS ran with and help to make this world a better place. I will do this in the one way he couldn’t: By introducing you to good music!
Today we are back to the puzzles! Enjoy these fine songs and figure out what the common theme is among them. I will give up to three hints in the comments. I’ll warn you, it’s a toughie this week.
I’ll give you one hint now: Wait for iiiiiiit…
Song Number One:
Canción Número Dos:
Chanson Numéro Trois:
Canzone numero quattro:
Canção número cinco
Seigarren zenbakia:
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That’s all for this week, folks! Be good to each other and try to stay the fuck away from stupid people. That’s not COVID-19 advice, that’s just general good sense. See you next week!
ONE MORE THING!
Do not forget to join the DFO Playoff Pickem Contest for a brand new chance to win a gently-used Fleshlight! Link is below:
- Eventual Balls Thoughts XLIII - January 19, 2021
- Sexy Friday, Divisional Round edition - January 15, 2021
- Eventual Balls Thoughts XLII - January 12, 2021
I can’t sleep. I’ve been thinking about whether the events of 1/6 were inevitable once it became certain that Trump would no longer be President. They probably were. Thank God there was as little bloodshed as there was.
Aaaaand the bottle of Uncle Nearest is now empty.
You can’t sleep either, huh?
This treason stuff has me thinking about executions. Lethal injection is weaksauce, and seldom the good stuff. Electric chair is too goth. A hanging is quick and has more swinging than twitching.
But a firing squad has a cigarette AND a last request. I bet my last words would be “Menthol? YOU SWINE”
This is elegant:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brazen_bull
COME ON BRO IT WAS JUST A JOKE!
I need to get off twitter, but
https://twitter.com/laurenpeikoff/status/1347728347623813121?s=19
“Chickity China, the Chinese Chicken”
(oh great, chicken are spreading COVID-21)
So it’s not news anymore but Twitter finally canned The Donald.
Or as you might say, @Jack Offs Trump.
As much as I admire her, I have to ask: is Rachel Maddow Glennon’s giraffe-y cousin?
I’ve got a plastic 1.75 of cheap gin I bought for my dad’s visits, but I don’t think I am going to see him any time soon. Need a simple solution. Tonic water?
Correct.
Or rinse a glass with vermouth.
I have tonic. I do not have vermouth. Also, I have lime.
Then you have a winner! Let’s drink!
Thank you for your support.
—Donald Trump, Junior
Have you ever seen those videos where they run shitty vodka through a brita filter?
Otherwise just mix it with pineapple juice or something.
https://twitter.com/barronjohn1946/status/1347694753786200064?s=19
Oh dammit, Tabula Raza beat me to it
It rated being said twice.
also, for ball’s theme, my first thought was songs from the car singing montage in film tommy boy because that was my first exposure to the midnight runners
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WU2Kb4F22HsaqC
so five things:
.1. I couldn’t log in earlier today for some reason
2. @señor i looked up that robot wars fight, and as a kid who loved the orginal razer, that pissed me off
3.. @SonOfSpam i nearly spit out my drink at your jared fogel joke
4. @tabula raza, i really enjoyed the story about your nephew, i had a full length comment ready in a few minutes.
5. @joliet jake can never go wrong with taye conti. how the fuck wwe let her walk away is beyond my understanding
“Tornado cheated” vs. “Tornado did nothing wrong” is still a meme on Shuntposting to this day.
There’s a strong cold Santa Ana wind blowing through Los Angeles tonight.
Evil things happen.
In 1974, we moved from Keesler AFB in Mississippi to Norton AFB in San Bernardino CA. I did not understand that the lights I saw in the mountains at night (up where Gumbygirl lives nowadays). During the day, the smog was so bad that you could not even see the mountains. Fucking liberals have fixed that for us though.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUknCZsPE_Q
Tiffany 69?
If it’s Melania, it is not Twitter. It is Twatter.
Reusing the mint and lime from my mojito to mix with cheaper rum and soda from the hotel shop. If I can’t dive, might as well drink instead!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HRIt2-tWkgE
trying to figure out what the “alt” key is really even used for; not much, is my conclusion, especially not worth the real estate of TWO keys on my board
Don’t use the one on the right, that just translates whatever you type into racist slurs
◄ ╛ ` ƒ ¬
Damn, watching Trebek’s last show was rougher than I thought it would be. Needed a few minutes afterwards.
It was so constant for so long, just knowing there will never be a new show with Alex is really final.
Sorry. Just didn’t expect that. (feelings, that is)
Is it ok for me to say here that Kelly Loeffler is a fucking horrible cunt?
When does Lindsay Graham’s Grindr account get suspended?
found a funny:
me: if i wash my sheets now they’ll be dry by bedtime
brain: easy
me: i just have to remember to switch them
brain: remember to switch what
Watch out guys, he only has to get kicked off a few more social media platforms before trump will end up trying to make an account here.
That’s ok. We’ve got a pretty good system for rejecting accounts from Russian addresses.
I’m having a lot of fun watching Trump get deplatformed from twitter. He keeps trying to use alt accounts and they keep getting whacked down.
Did they IP ban the White House? And he has no idea how VPN works?
He probably doesn’t know what VPN is.
“Vanky’s Pu Nani?”
As always, you are the king. That’s WAY better than what I thought up.
Is there a running list of attempted alts?
It’s just a few so far. But I bet they will try again at like 3 a.m. Here’s the current tally:
https://public.tableau.com/profile/benjamin.renton#!/vizhome/WhiteHouseResignationTracker/TwitterSuspensionsDashboard
# reallyrealdonaldtrump
@reallyrealdonaldtrump
@notreallydonaldtrump
@neverheardofdonaldtrump
LOL
they kicked Trump off twitter. Permanently.
thats ROCKING!
Is he capable of disguising himself with proper spelling, capitalization and grammar?
His lemmings will be suspicious.
https://imgur.com/r/preggit/r1sbq5m
SonOfSpam is VERY close. He got the fact that these are songs featured in the show Psych. To finish it off, we need to know HOW they were featured in the show.
Holy shit, i’ve actually watched that show!
Are they all songs that were performed live by shawn and gus at some point in the show?
DING DING DING DING!!!
https://twitter.com/PsychPeacock/status/1253263595238043648?s=09
Talk about pegging the obscurometer.
I said it was a toughie!
Mother is interested in this “pegging the obscurometer” M. Pence
I watch Psych when I run across it. Good show, clever and funny writing.
playoffs baby!
Should be ROCKING!!!!
I only watched the ‘Come On Eileen’ video, so I’m going to guess that all of these songs were sponsored by Osh-Kosh-B’Gosh.
What do I win?
You are the overall winner.
Goddammit.
Never had kids, so it took a while for me to get that. Nice.
‘Not a movie’ and a tv show pic, so something to do with tv shows. They were all the theme songs to failed pilots of ‘Chicago Profession’ shows?
“They will be in the future!” -Dick Wolf
Whenever I hear his name I’m reminded that the Roman word for brothel was lupanar, which literally translates as wolf-den, and prostitutes were lupa, so his name is basically whore-fucker
Grrrr… Something to do with black and white or darkness and light.
(Not so) fun fact: Stevie Wonder is blind because they used to use too much oxygen in incubators for preemies in hospitals, it fucks up the tiny blood vessels in the eyes. Despite not being a medical doctor, the Coney island preemie baby guy did a much better job and only gave supplemental oxygen when necessary due to lack of lung development.
Oxygen makes you blind
Love is blind
OMG
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXJ4TZSXtzc
Probably told this before, sorry. My first US concert was Sweet at Santa Monica Civic Center, early 1976 Give Us A Wink Tour, opening act was Sam Hagar touring on his first post-Montrose album. When Sweet played “AC/DC” there was a 15-foot papier mache cock and balls that dropped out of the ceiling and spurted out confetti cum-shots over the audience. As a 16 year old, I thought this was awesome.
I think you did tell this story before, but I’m glad you told it again since it’s awesome.
I’m pretty sure that’s awesome at any age
Upon reflection, I think you are completely correct.
When my dad went to NAMM he saw Stevie. But Stevie didn’t see him!
/Dad joke
//Dick joke
Is it relevant that they’re all 80s?
Yes, in a way.
Songs that have been featured on USA Network level shows?
You are VERY close. Narrow down the show and the circumstances.
Psych (which I think you like) and the guys being friends no homo but kinda homo?
You’ve gotten the show! Now, there is one more step. You need to explain how these songs featured in the show.
Nah, I’m tired and ready to drink more.
Plus, I’ve never seen the show, so it feels dishonest.
Wait, seriously? You’ve never seen Psych?!?
Nope. AND IT WAS MY MAJOR!!!
Apparently it’s good (I trust your judgment) but I just never really got around to it (or any USA show).
It is. I don’t know if I would recommend a binge as each show was an hour long when it aired and there were over 100 episodes, so that’s a big time commitment. It was fun, though, with a shit-ton of 80s references.
Fuck, mate, I’ve never even fooking heard of it.
How is this possible?? I thought everyone had either seen it or at least heard of it!
It’s available on NBC’s free peacock streaming service, if you’re interested. It was a fun show.
Balls, i bought this for a friend today but thought you might enjoy it too
Is that a scented candle?
I hope not
I thought one lights candles to be rid of butt smells.
YUP
Coconut oil, quaalude, and shame scented?
The Penn State showers?
I’m not gonna lie, I fucking loved quaaludes!
They’re all songs that have been co-opted into commercials?
I don’t remember seeing the Gas Company commercial using the Bangles song…
The Moby album?
The Black Keys nod.
I posted it below, but here’s your first hint: The theme is not associated with movies.
They’re all songs by people who have never been in my kitchen.
(Susannah, you’re welcome any time, though.)
I’m pretty sure Curt Smith has been in your kitchen
That’s hint #2, btw.
Is he a licensed plumber?
More like honoured guest.
THEM was Van Morrison’s first band. Obviously not the right answer tonight. I like Patti Smith’s version better, anyway.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3iONfzXJu1g
And now he’s a major knob. Sad.
Him and Eric Clapton both. Fuck those dozy cunts.
Careful…Eric’s been known to drop children on people he doesn’t like.
He’ll need a helicopter.
Which I guess he can afford.
*Looks over shoulder when walking outside*
Speaking of Knobs, has anyone checked the Dirty Knobs album? Tom Petty’s guitarist Mike Campbell’s band. Favourite track: “Fuck That Guy.”
Good band name, good guitarist, good song title.
Will check it out.
Wrong about one thing. GREAT guitarist. He’s a fucking beast.
I have very bad luck at scuba travel. Back Pre-covid I couldn’t dive in Koh Tao or Rarotonga because of unseasonal storms that exactly corresponded with the days I was there. Now, my night Manta ray dive has been canceled because someone who works at the dive shop I booked with shares equipment with someone who tested positive for Covid. Which wouldn’t be that improbable except that it’s on the Big Island of Hawai’i, where there are under 20 and usually under 10 cases per day, counting residents who are diagnosed off-island. It’s not a super close contact for them, so I’m sure they’ll test negative, and I’m glad they’re being so careful, it’s just kinda crazy to run into it here as opposed to back on the mainland where shit is surging like crazy