Your AFC North Wildcard Playoff Game Open Thread

Didn’t these squadoos just partake of one another a week ago? Anyway, should you wish to know just how badly Cleveland is screwed going into this tilt, read below.

TO THE GAME!

Browns/Steelers:

-I still can’t wrap the old bean around the fact that Cleveland is 11-5 and not 8-8 or so and barely scraping into this game. Well, the last part is correct, but still.

-Coach Stefanski is down and out so Alex Van Pelt will get the play-calling duties. This actually could turn into an advantage if the guy isn’t way in over his head. He should have slightly different tendencies than the boss. The honor of prowling the sidelines goes to some special teams co-ordinator fella by the name of Priefer. What does I know about him? He hates headphones and he coached a game for the Vikes back in 2016 when Zimmer had emergency surgery.

-Ben’s short passing game should be enough to get by this week but doesn’t bode well for next round. If he has toss longer throws beyond 10 yards he’s just as effective as the likes of Lock and Minshew. Ewww.

-Ordinarily the Steelers d-line would tear the opposing unit to shreds with blitz packages and such but this Browns o-line is among the very best in the league, equally adept at both run and pass blocking.

-They will be missing Pro Bowler Joel Bitonio as well as their best cb, their 2nd-best cb and possibly their 3rd-best cb. Also not playing is their 2nd-best pass rusher. “Hey Browns, congrats on making the playoffs, now just attach these 10 pound dumbbells to each of your ankles and away you go!. GOOD LUCK!”

-If there is prayer for Cleveland it would appear to lie in the run game. If they can control time of possession and field position (as the Colts did yesterday) they can make this their game.

-It would actually be better for the league if the deeply-flawed Steelers would go down tonight instead of next week. That way a national audience could see a Browns team that isn’t missing a huge number of its moving parts.

Say hello below.

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Gumbygirl

Dude, I have two brothers I don’t speak to. I will have no truck with Nazi’s, and I don’t regret a thing.

Doktor Zymm

It’s a pity about that Steelers TD, otherwise the Browns would be on track to beat the 73-0 NFL record margin of victory

King Hippo

that was cute, asking for BLEERGH against the Turf Monster

Spur

Spurs pulling away from Wolves too.

King Hippo

but they played Marine already today???

SonOfSpam

Had no idea Tottenham and Wolverhampton were playing a 3 AM game.

(I knows my footy a little woo)

Doktor Zymm

If the Vikings follow your lead maybe you’ll both have a stellar 2021!

SonOfSpam

Have done the same (a few years ago), and you’ll find you don’t miss them and your life is better. As an adult, you can choose your family, and some ain’t worth having around.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Plus they may end up in jail soon enough

King Hippo

THIS all day

SonOfSpam

And it doesn’t seem to have an adverse effect on Aaron Rodgers.

King Hippo

lookit all the trim he pulls now!!

SonOfSpam

moar beards than zz top smh

Spur

more ass then notorious poon hound Liberace

Spur

I barely speak to my brother and the last time I saw him fucker gave me Covid.
2021 Ron Free Year it is.

TheRevanchist

Browns fans? I understand

Brocky

I’m thinking more politics.

defending those who would bludgeon a cop with a fucking fire extinguisher after years of preaching “blue lives matter” is turning out to be the breaking point for some people.

i can only guess some folks were hoping the election and inauguration would restore some sanity, but they couldn’t make it through another week

Spur

Yes, that was a killer TD.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Time after time?

SonOfSpam

This one’s better. Or at least older.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83bDQHLHHg0

Viva La Tabula Raza

HG Wells in modern San Francisco.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=huziaaaEd1s

WCS

So… what did I miss?

Sharkbait

If you’re Ben, your receivers

Last edited 3 years ago by Sharkbait
Downfield Matriculator

If you’re the Steeler D, the Chubb and the KHunt

Doktor Zymm

Tackles, blocks, coverage assignments, you name it!

Brocky

an nfl playoff record 28 points in the first quarter!

Doktor Zymm

Baker determined to one-up the butcher and that stinkin’ candlestick maker

Downfield Matriculator

Favorable spot so we don’t all turn it off at halftime?

Doktor Zymm

Or it’s already garbage time?

Downfield Matriculator

Yeah, well I started rooting for them when Joe Gilliam was QB so I will keep it on out of habit, but I might get a start on deleting work e-mails before Monday morning

JustStopDude

If my boner lasts for longer than three quarters, I am supposed to seek medical assistance right?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

If it turns grey, for sure.

Mr. Ayo

Perfectly normal and healthy reaction to this game.

Doktor Zymm

Stick a blood pressure cuff on there and you should be good

Viva La Tabula Raza

She’s a doctor, listen up.

SonOfSpam

“Over 3/4? Damn, that’s huge!”

-B. Favre

TheRevanchist

Fap harder!

King Hippo

Hockey is NO METHADONE, silly NBC

Sharkbait

I mean it’s close.

Brocky

is the cape still pretty dope?

my uncle has a buddy who used to let him rent their house every summer or so, hasn’t done it cuz of traveling, but plans to do more now he’s retired, says i am free to visit whenever

i went out for a week as a teenager but I think I was slightly too young to appreciate it.

I known it would depend on where you go, but is it like spring break atmosphere or just a family resort

Sharkbait

I love it down there. September is the best time I think. Still warm, and the bulk of the tourists are gone.

It definitely depends on where you go. Hyannis is the closest thing to a city on the cape, and there are plenty of bars that are either townie or more upbeat. Definitely go to Provincetown. The people watching alone makes it worth it

It’s got something for everyone.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Provincetown is so cool. My first visit was in 1969, didn’t know what gay people were at age 10. but a lot of hippies there too at that time. Last visit was few years ago, it was still cool.
Martha’s Vineyard is also a place I like to visit. Just take the ferry from Woods Hole, you can rent a car for less than a hundred bucks a day, or just hang in Vineyard Haven or Oak Bluff. I met Spike Lee having breakfast in the Bluff during one visit 5 or 6 years ago, he was cool.

Last edited 3 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

All right, one more Steelers turnover and I gotta go get some dinner.

Doktor Zymm

Revenge of the KHunt!

King Hippo

/we menfolk all noe wut we dun

Gatoraids

Pete Carroll wants to rename the Cleveland Browns to the Cleveland Jet Fuel.

Mother Puncher

Mike “Nuke the Steelers till they glow” Priefer

Horatio Cornblower

I haven’t seen Ben Rothlisberger this confused by anything other than the word ‘no.’

litre_cola

This is a car crash.

Mr. Ayo

Into a motorcycle no less.

SonOfSpam

“Purple monkey dishwasher”

-G. Busey

LemonJello

Laughs in Trent Green
Trent Green

King Hippo

with detached human foot sticking out of the front grille

SonOfSpam

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litre_cola

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Sharkbait

And we all can’t stop staring.

Doktor Zymm

I’m going with “this is a Chinese industrial steel work disaster that killed 32”
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Qinghe_Special_Steel_Corporation_disaster

Doktor Zymm

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Mr. Ayo

TRIFECTA! HARF!

Mother Puncher

Guys I miss back when football games were on Nickelodeon

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Like i said, can’t see any outcome but the Tits, Seahawks, and Steelers winning in a walk this weekend.

SonOfSpam

Nostradumbass?

Doktor Zymm

He just never seems enthusiastic about anything does he?

SonOfSpam

Definitely not the worst substance you could be covered by in New Orleans.

Gumbygirl

Good for him!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Not sure Apple is making the right move by airing a commercial with the opening line “There’s a certain kind of person that doesn’t take ‘no’ for an answer…” during a Steelers game.

Sharkbait

Back from the cape, and done with unpacking for the night. I wonder how the game is going?

Who the fuck are THESE Browns??? Rip my Steelers -6 bet

litre_cola

Decilitre just looked up from his coloUring book. “Daddy, you love wine right?” and that was all.

Soon I will teach him how to use a corkscrew.

Fronkenshteen

So dark, but I love the way my oldest says, “vokka”.

Doktor Zymm

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King Hippo

Is that Duck Hodges guy active?

SonOfSpam

We are due for another Duck Dynasty.

Fronkenshteen

45 minutes of hurry-up offense could be entertaining.

Doktor Zymm

Especially as it gets progressively for dumpster firey

litre_cola

Where the hell is JustStopDude????

King Hippo

I am betting “on a bender”

SonOfSpam

When will the league office step in and recount the points???

/packs some zip ties and catches a Greyhound to Goodell’s office

clint greasewood
litre_cola

Ebron with the Ebron!

King Hippo

Western PA Reacts Reasonably About Coach Epps

Downfield Matriculator

Wow, I am actively searching my old guy memory for a Steelers performance this shitty and Bubby Brister comes to mind — but that wasn’t the playoffs. JFC

BugEyedBoo

I remember New England starting a playoff game against the Steelers like this.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Mike Maddox? Kordell? Mike Tomczak?

BugEyedBoo
BugEyedBoo

And that was Touchdown Tommy Maddox, IIRC.

Fronkenshteen

Ok that was a kewl pass.

Doktor Zymm

Has Pitt even gotten a clean 1st down yet? Lol

Gumbygirl

Wow, wasn’t expecting this! I think I’m going to take a soothing hot bath, and crack open some pinot noir.

Mother Puncher

It’s just a football game. No need to go slit your wrists over it

SonOfSpam

“Yeah, that’s for pussies.”

-J. Belcher

Gumbygirl

No blood, I’m sqeamish! I meant a bubble bath! I’ve seen these idiots shit the bed before, it isn’t a big deal. What I’m hoping now is that this is the embarrassing ending to the rapist’s career. Fuck him.

ballsofsteelandfury

Amén

Gatoraids

Pittsburgh offering to get Cleveland in touch with Dan Quinn at halftime free of charge

The Maestro

This game isn’t being shown on Nickelodeon because children should never witness murder on live TV.

Fronkenshteen

KHUNT KHUNT KHUNT

SonOfSpam

(Betsy DeVos appears in the mirror)

The Maestro

Just beating that Pittsburgh defence senseless, truly.

King Hippo

as they say, too much KHunt is NEVAR enough amirite??

Dunstan

“It always feels like too much to me.” — Brett Favre

TheRevanchist

I just opened a beer because I am done for the night.

Spur

HELL YEAH!

Brocky

you can almost hear the racist Steelers fans jacking off in anticipation of this game getting Tomlin fired.

or maybe that’s my overactive imagination after someone mentioned pineapple and cum earlier

Fronkenshteen

remember hearing how the 300 section in Philly was rife with racists casually smearing Donovan McNabb. Can only imagine same in Heinz-Ville.

Doktor Zymm

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Doktor Zymm

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Mr. Ayo

I’M A BRIDGE ENGINEER! I DRIVE A DODGE STRATUS!

Spur

Lonnie Walker is on FIRE too for the Spurs right now

The Maestro

The Cuyahoga River is gonna be BURNIN’ tomorrow, folks.

Fronkenshteen

Ha cha cha cha!