Your AFC Championship Game Open Thread

Now this is the money shot, if you will. Likeable qb’s, exciting qb’s, excitable qb’s, even. Plus my chili has been happily simmering away for oh, about six-ish hours or so by now. Everything is beautiful…

TO THE GAME!

-The last time the Bills were in this spot they were playing a very old Joseph Montana. (sounds like some gold prospector that started his own religion back in the 1800’s) As for The Chefs, they’re the very first AFC squadoo to host the game for three straight years.

-Sammy Watkins-listed as questionable-is that typical boom or bust fantasy guy on a team with many mouths to feed you regretted drafting. Thing is, he shows up in the playoffs. In his five games as a Chiefs he’s averaged 93 yards receiving per outing.

-The unsung player that is responsible for the Bills D being that bend-don’t-break unit is lb Matt Milano. He’s battled injuries and only played 10 regular season games (plus the two playoffs tilts) and hasn’t lost yet. When he’s not in the D gives up the 28th most rushing yards, when he plays they adjust to 9th. Average 1st downs per game drop from 31st to 8th. As far as points allowed, the D goes from 29th to 2nd.

-Kelce Time! (once again) The Bills gave up the most catches and the 2nd most receiving yards to tight ends.

-On A Roll: Honey Badger has 5 picks in his last 7 games. DC Steve Spaghetti Noodle refers to him as ‘my chess piece’.

-No one is surprised that Mahomes cleared the concussion protocol but what about the turf toe protocol?

-K.C.’s secondary does a great job on outside receivers so this should be an interesting battle. The Bills/Allen won’t back down from the challenge-mostly because they can’t run the ball in any meaningful way.

-As for the Chiefs, CEH went for 161 when these teams met up last time but as noted above, the Bills D is healthy and raring to go. As well, it looks like Darrel Williams will tote the rock.

-Take the over?

Drizzle your gizzards below.

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herodotus450

If you celebrate a touchdown but it gets overturned, is should be an automatic excessive celebration penalty.

Horatio Cornblower

Ejected from the game, a la targeting.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This game feels like it’s Mahomes’s for the taking

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It feels like the Chiefs have made all the mistakes they are going to make.

Gatoraids

Beef on secondary action

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I would absolutely take some weck right now

Old School Zero

Unnecessary Suplex: The Jim Rome Story

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Nothing unnecessary about that one.

Old School Zero

I’m not saying it’s a GOOD or ACCURATE book…

Petronel

Nice suplex

Brick Meathook

Only Rome has more fountains than Kansas City. Also an amazing amount of art deco architecture. Good steaks too.

Last edited 3 years ago by Brick Meathook
Senor Weaselo

I don’t think Respighi’s writing that piece. For one he’s dead.

litre_cola

Haggis was delicious. As were the neeps and tatties.

Dunstan

So Andy Reid has a play called “Smoked Sausage”? He’s just trolling us now…

Mother Puncher

I think that’s just Anthony Sherman’s nickname

Game Time Decision

Why do the football jackets that go over the pads even have sleeves? Has anyone ever used them?

Col. Duke LaCross

They always look fucking cool though.

Doktor Zymm

I’m watching this on a small tablet. I would normally complain, but I realize that basically everyone before 2008 or so had a shittier view on their eye-cancer SDTVs

herodotus450

Smear some vasoline on the screen for an authentic, retro experience.

Old School Zero

E Z Qual

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The Chefs should just pay Bienemy head coach money to stick around for a few years. Reid is always at risk of just keeling over anyway.

Horatio Cornblower

The only problem with that is that Reid will only give up coaching when his heart gives up on him. It’s not like he lets his family distract him.

Petronel

Because of course the Bills sent the kick right…

Old School Zero

TRADITIONNNNNNNN

rockingdog

BARK BARK BARK

lets get BARKLEY to the superbowl!!!

goooooo BILLLLLSSSSS

Cecil Rhodes

If Barkley went to the Superb Owl, would that be…rocking?

Spur

comment image

Old School Zero
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Muff and missed xp? You guys really want me to stay awake.

ballsofsteelandfury

FUCK! They’re at the dumpling making scene and now I want dumplings.

hippofant

I got 4 bags of frozen dumplings in my freezer. Why don’t you?

ballsofsteelandfury

Cuz I’m a dumbass

Gumbygirl

I want some too! I might have some in my freezer, be back soon!

Doktor Zymm

I have some pelmeni in my freezer but saving them to put in soup! Need to find somewhere around here that makes good pierogies

Gumbygirl

I found a place online that ships them from Cleveland, I can’t remember the name of the company.

Mr. Ayo

GoldBelly does.

TheRevanchist

We need to cut that guy

Viva La Tabula Raza

Whoops!

Dunstan

I love a good muff.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Me too! Old School!

Petronel

BWAHAHAHAHAHA

Dunstan

scotchy, what’s your chili method (for today, anyway — if you’re like me, it’s a little different every time).

I’ve been basing mine — including today’s — on J. Kenzi Lopez-Alt’s short rib chili recipe. Make a chili paste out of toasted dried chilies simmered in broth, then add that to the sauteed onions/fresh chilies/other spices. More broth, add browned short rib, simmer in oven. Cook the beans separately and then add for the last hour or two. Some other umami bombs like soy and anchovies, a little cider vinegar and booze to finish.

Horatio Cornblower

What’s your local hobo supply like? Because that’s gonna make a big difference.

Mother Puncher

Thanks to everyone that suggested the instapot pork roast. Turned out great and made an easy gravy

Gatoraids

Yeah it’s very flexible for quick pork rests can do lechon asado instead or shred to bbq

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is this going to be a compelling first half or can I nap?

Don T

Handoff to Singletsry? What universe us this?

Viva La Tabula Raza

How much food do Godzilla and Kong require to maintain life functions? They are fucking huge! Seems they would need boxcar loads of whatever they eat every day. Seems unsustainable.

Horatio Cornblower

They just stop at Mrs. Reid’s house. She’s used to dealing with that kind of appetite.

Don T

Coupla cars, and bran.

BugEyedBoo

Don’t know about Kong, but I think Godzilla is nuclear powered.

Mother Puncher

Remember those movies that were metaphors for imperialism, slavery and nuclear war? What they went BOOM BOOM BOOM wouldn’t that be sweet?

clint greasewood

SHEqualizer.

Don T

Gotta love he walked away all cool after getting walloped, then drooled his mouth guard.

Horatio Cornblower

I haven’t seen anything hit Tyreek Hill’s hands and get dropped like that, other than his son.

Horatio Cornblower

Went out with the wife to pick up BBQ and missed the end of the Bay of Pigs.

I assume that nothing interesting happened, and no one tell me anything different.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

More importantly, how was the ‘cue?

–Andy Reid

BrettFavresColonoscopy

But seriously how was it? Was it from the place you took me? That shit was goooood.

Horatio Cornblower

BT’s Smokehouse. Hour+ round trip for pick-up and still worth it.

Currently working through some beef brisket and half-rack of St. Louis ri…’ding-dong’…Oh, hello Mr. Reid.

Old School Zero

Fine. I won’t.

TheRevanchist

I’m already sick of this song by The Weeknd. No more of it, please.

Game Time Decision

But its the weekend. Weekday songs play tomorrow

hippofant

We’ll stop playing it if you buy 1000000 Pepsis.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Led Zep “Kashmir” as bumper music? I can stand that.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

As long as it isn’t the Puff Daddy version

Viva La Tabula Raza

Is that a thing? My God!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Soundtrack from Godzilla. I guess technically he sampled it but fuck that guy

https://youtube.com/watch?v=vrSyrOaoAug&feature=youtu.be

Don T

Great. Now we gotta boil and sanitize the servers.

Mother Puncher

I’m actually pretty sure Page re-recorded his guitar part for it

Horatio Cornblower

“Me too.” Robert Plant, burning another stack of $100 just for the hell of it.

Senor Weaselo

“Turf toe protocol? Has he tried the bike?” -LaDanian

Brocky

all this complaining about brady is making me think you all don’t appreciate how fucking insufferable the green bay fanbase is. i look forward to a long offseason with a distinct lack of “superbowl champs” tshirts and families of fat anti maskers wearing green and gold infecting my town.

also, fuck it, i haven’t had a drink since fourth of july. im breaking that streak tonight

Game Time Decision

Theres prob GB super bowl champs t-shirts already made, they just get to be destroyed now. I also assume there are shirt for the other 3 teams

Old School Zero

I definitely didn’t take my regular weekend edible dose into account over the last grocery trip. Not near enough snacks in the house right now.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I don’t remember if you’re one of those middle of nowhere DFOers but that’s what delivery is for

Old School Zero

We definitely have access to delivery but the fees don’t seem worth it just for a couple bags of chips. Plus lots of those delivery services fuck over their workers.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Fair. When we order (and LA just capped the delivery fees from app services) we order like 3 days worth to amortize it across. And we’re gluttonous.

Gumbygirl

That’s the beauty of marijuana- anything is a good snack. I have been known to make a pot of rice, stir some soy sauce and rice wine vinegar in, and viola!

Old School Zero

Oh hell yeah. I love rice. If we weren’t doing ramen for dinner I would definitely consider that right now.

rockingdog

found a funny:

me: i had to have updog put down
you: what’s updog
me (crying): my best friend

rockingdog

that Star Spangled Banner

was ROCKING!

Gumbygirl

Did they say how old that kid was? He looked really young to be that good.

Gatoraids

Yeah hopefully guitar making a come back for Rocking Dog. That girl who duels Dave Grohl on the guitar and drums is good sign for the youth

Dunstan

I like that you really commit to the “rocking” bit.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m watching Crazy Rich Asians on one screen and this game in the other.

I miss Singapore.

Dunstan

I was pleasantly surprised by Singapore. It wasn’t on my list of places to visit, but it was a necessary airline hub on my round-the-world ticket, so I scheduled a three-day layover.

My only complaint was that drinks are expensive, so not a place for serious boozing, but a nice place to explore for a couple of days.

JimU

Never been, but I miss vacations in general.

Spur

You just need to pay up front and some lovely Asian massage parlor can arrange for a Caning

Mother Puncher

I like that they went the Eddie Murphy route and made a comedy where one actor plays every part.

Dunstan

Reposting my dumb Joe Buck story from the other thread:

OK, so this was quite a few years ago. I had started reading KSK but not commenting there.
I’m awoken on a Wednesday morning by the phone ringing. I am VERY hung over. I had been drinking tequila at a neighborhood bar the night before with some friends visiting from out of town. I pick up the phone and it’s one of them.
“Hey, how are you feeling? You had a rough night!”
Me: Eh, a little rough. But I can take the morning off work, so it’s good.
“Hope you didn’t lose Joe Buck’s autograph.”
What?
“What, you don’t remember getting his autograph and talking to him for all that time about how much you liked him?”
(a feeling of dread overwhelms me. I recall that Joe Buck was indeed at the bar that night. He was in town for the baseball playoffs presumably. But, did I really do that?)

I fake my way through the rest of the conversation and hang up.
Slowly, over the next half hour, I piece the night together and remember that yes, Buck was there. However, all I did was call out, “hey Joe” just to make sure it was him. I never actually went up to talk to him and certainly didn’t ask for his autograph. But my friend from out of town fucked with me pretty good on the phone that morning.

Col. Duke LaCross

NANTZ: Why do the Bills hate America?

Spur

Is this Senator Hawley’s district? Because now I might go full on Bills

Col. Duke LaCross

He’s a senator, the whole state of Missouri is his district.

Spur

Right. Go Bills!

clint greasewood

comment image?itok=AEdekbFp

Don T
Spur

Sideshow Bob is a real person and can shred

TheRevanchist

Romo needs to lay off the caffeine.

litre_cola

Pickin up the Haggis dinner! Happy early Robbie Burns day!

Dunstan

May you sleep well, and dream of Rachel Sermanni:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1-PF2kt2jg

Dunstan
Sharkbait

I’m intrigued with this dish. Would be wary too try it anywhere outside Scotland though

ballsofsteelandfury

Haggis is wonderful

Dunstan

True haggis is nae available in the U.S., because the FDA won’t allow sheep lungs in food. But you can get some domestic versions that are ok. But yeah, I liked it a lot better in Scotland, though that may be because I was sort of dreading it and was pleasantly surprised.

Spur

No fair, I like both these teams. I’ll go Bills just to see someone new win. I want a clean fun game. No BS calls or injuries please.

Gumbygirl

I’m going for them too, so they can beat Brady like the piece of shit he is.

Spur

agreed.

TheRevanchist

I can be a bit over the top at times. I apologize for that. And I apologize for how I am going to be during and after this game, as well. Blessed be the QB named Mahomes.

Sharkbait

No apology necessary.

Gumbygirl

You are allowed to root for your team. It’s in the Constitution!

litre_cola

I bet on you, praise GAMBLOR.

Mother Puncher

God fucking damn it

Sharkbait

Full on Bills bandwagon here.

Also need the over.

Last edited 3 years ago by Sharkbait
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