Your AFC Championship Game Open Thread

Now this is the money shot, if you will. Likeable qb’s, exciting qb’s, excitable qb’s, even. Plus my chili has been happily simmering away for oh, about six-ish hours or so by now. Everything is beautiful…

TO THE GAME!

-The last time the Bills were in this spot they were playing a very old Joseph Montana. (sounds like some gold prospector that started his own religion back in the 1800’s) As for The Chefs, they’re the very first AFC squadoo to host the game for three straight years.

-Sammy Watkins-listed as questionable-is that typical boom or bust fantasy guy on a team with many mouths to feed you regretted drafting. Thing is, he shows up in the playoffs. In his five games as a Chiefs he’s averaged 93 yards receiving per outing.

-The unsung player that is responsible for the Bills D being that bend-don’t-break unit is lb Matt Milano. He’s battled injuries and only played 10 regular season games (plus the two playoffs tilts) and hasn’t lost yet. When he’s not in the D gives up the 28th most rushing yards, when he plays they adjust to 9th. Average 1st downs per game drop from 31st to 8th. As far as points allowed, the D goes from 29th to 2nd.

-Kelce Time! (once again) The Bills gave up the most catches and the 2nd most receiving yards to tight ends.

-On A Roll: Honey Badger has 5 picks in his last 7 games. DC Steve Spaghetti Noodle refers to him as ‘my chess piece’.

-No one is surprised that Mahomes cleared the concussion protocol but what about the turf toe protocol?

-K.C.’s secondary does a great job on outside receivers so this should be an interesting battle. The Bills/Allen won’t back down from the challenge-mostly because they can’t run the ball in any meaningful way.

-As for the Chiefs, CEH went for 161 when these teams met up last time but as noted above, the Bills D is healthy and raring to go. As well, it looks like Darrel Williams will tote the rock.

-Take the over?

Drizzle your gizzards below.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

499 comments. Let’s make it 500.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Good jorb

Brick Meathook

Anybody watching the Dick Wolf FBI show that followed the game on CBS?

Yeah me neither.

Don T

I wanted sone escapist stuff. So I put RT en Español.

Brick Meathook

I’m watching an HBO Max documentary called Class Action Park, about an amusement park in northern New Jersey that was the most dangerous water park in America. There were injuries every day and even a few deaths. Absolutely no rules or oversight. It’s crazy. The doc is pretty good.

Last edited 3 years ago by Brick Meathook
BrettFavresColonoscopy

We’re watching Watchmen because we don’t do anything in a timely fashion.

Don T

I’m very OK with the State Farm Bowl not happening. Rodgers should play the Bills in the AIG Risk-Averse Bowl. Halftime entertainer, Will Smith.

Last edited 3 years ago by Don T
BrettFavresColonoscopy

It is beyond dumb that THIS is the logo for Super Bowl LV:comment image
And this is the logo for Super Bowl LIV:
comment image
Use the fucking Lombardi as an I!

Last edited 3 years ago by BrettFavresColonoscopy
Game Time Decision

With ya. Brutal design but get why they need to dumb it down for the average NFL fan

Don T

I think “the trophy is not a number” is the rare occasion when the event explains the logo.

Gumbygirl

The average NFL fan doesn’t get the concept of Roman numerals anyway, so they could have LVMC and they wouldn’t know the difference.

Doktor Zymm

And the thing is, they probably hired a top visual design firm to make those logos, and they used the Lombardi as an I, and it was rejected because the NFL is run by trogolodytes who can’t find their own ass with a rotorooter

Senor Weaselo

In fairness we knew that once they went with every goddamn logo being the same/changing the conference trophies.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

At least it should help Liv Tyler get her name back in the news once or twice.

Viva La Tabula Raza

They should get Sam Hagar to sing “I Can’t Drive LV” at the half.

Senor Weaselo

Welp, go Chefs.

TheRevanchist

It’s now the Patrick Price. Not the Rodgers Rate.

Viva La Tabula Raza

The next series of ads should feature scenes of Patrick moving into Rodgers’ house and also banging his ex-girlfriends.

Don T

/still laughing

Gumbygirl

From Gumby

16115438880773608629072262370084_1655558498689753.jpg
TheRevanchist

Feb 7th. And Feb 8th is my daughter’s bday. I hope TB12 doesn’t ruin her day.

Horatio Cornblower

Ok, so KC for the back-to-back, but Tyreek Hill suffers a (literally) crippling injury sometime in the next two weeks.

Make it happen, 2021.

litre_cola

I can get behind this.

litre_cola

Time for Ice Football!

Gatoraids

Romo drifting into Charlie Day voice

Recovery Whiskey

One more NFL game left

Don T

That Amazon ad with the kid under the table eating the cake always makes me wonder how many stitches would be reasonable parental discipline.

Last edited 3 years ago by Don T
Horatio Cornblower

I hate that ad. Either of my kids would have been defying the laws of gravity if they’d pulled that crap.

Don T

Folks my parents’ age would’ve put every guest on open-hand slap duty.

Gumbygirl

Damn right. That’s the kind of parenting that put all the millenials in therapy!

Viva La Tabula Raza

If a kid ate that whole thing, they’d be projectile vomiting within 30 minutes.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

“And coming up next to present the Lamar Hunt Trophy to his former team, the ghost of Lamar Hunt”

Doktor Zymm

nah, fuck that, this is better
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_ymHk3fOf0

Doktor Zymm

I’m usually in favor of abolishing prisons, etc, but goddamn I’m okay with the fuckers who shot Sean rotting in a penitentiary

Doktor Zymm

Bonus, intended receiver is CHAD JOHNSON

Brick Meathook

comment image

Doktor Zymm

Yeah, pretty much.

Brick Meathook

comment image

clint greasewood

COVID-19 ruin the Super Bowl.

Horatio Cornblower

Great D on 3rd and 10 there, Bills.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Chad Henne must have a bonus if he takes a snap in a certain number of games, otherwise this makes no sense.

Downfield Matriculator

Game over

BrettFavresColonoscopy

It’s Super Bowl LIV? I thought we already had that one.

Doktor Zymm

And yet, LIV Tyler is nawt playing the halving time

litre_cola

IS Denise Richards still alive? Get the band back together?

Horatio Cornblower

Hard to say, she has so many body parts with different ages these days.

Gumbygirl

Is Liv Ulmann still alive?

Brick Meathook

LV

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That graphic was dumb then

herodotus450

Even bigger brain move by the bills here: give so many first downs by penalty that the Chefs will HAVE to score and give the ball back.

Downfield Matriculator

That’s 3-dimensional . . . checkers

Col. Duke LaCross

Beeergh has not checked out of this one though.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is Tyreek Hill coaching the Chiefs defense now?

Doktor Zymm

Oh what the everloving sweet slow fuck?

LemonJello

Adding this to my lexicon.

*Chef’s kiss*

Dunstan

Seriously, why put Mahomes out there?

Horatio Cornblower

Leadership?

Mr. Ayo

Royal Rumble!

Brocky

looks like andy reid is gonna throw a punch

me: so if all the coaches get in a fight, who wins?

15 seconds pass

dad: ………… Ditka

beat

we burst out laughing

Recovery Whiskey

Pretty sure Ditka and Forrest Gregg got into it at some point

Col. Duke LaCross

After the Charles Martin cheap shot if I recall.

Brocky

that green bay tram had two wins, nothing to play for, and apparently gregg has zero fucking problem with his team head hunting.

Gumbygirl

What is it about double g Gregg football coaches. Wasn’t Gregg Williams the Bountygate guy?

Brocky

my grandpa theorized there was a strong mutual dislike between the two.

in 1985 the bears beat green bay in the first meeting. some six weeks later in the night game in lambeau someone put a bag of literal horse shit in Ditka’s locker, all investigations pointed to gregg

Horatio Cornblower

It’s Saleh and it’s not going to be close, or pretty.

herodotus450

Only punch Reid is throwing is his glass to the floor, because it’s sugar free.

herodotus450

Any sprots journalist who couches their take on this with “but you love to see him protect his quarterback” should be drawn and quartered in the town square, for all to see.

Dunstan

But why not? Game’s over. Penalty was meaningless. Nobody got injured. Why not take a shot at the guy just to let him know there’s no freebies on the QB?

Gatoraids

Even Shanklor has turned off this game

Horatio Cornblower

/Shank’lor, (I use the pre-Avignon schism spelling), sitting in the john, smoking a cigarette and reading the horse sheets.
(Phone rings)
Y’ello? What? They’re still playing? I’ll be ri…Ah, y’know what? Screw it; let’em have the FG, I’m busy.

Dunstan

Second dumbest rule in the NFL: personal fouls offset even if one team gets three and the other one.

Mr. Ayo

OMG, another Bills FG?

Horatio Cornblower

Wait, Buffalo got 3 personal fouls and KC got one, and they all offset? How does that make sense?

“Hey, we got one of each, let’s go stomp the fuck out of them!”

Dunstan

Creates all kinds of dumb incentives.

Gumbygirl

My rule change would be that a procedure penalty should never cancel out a 15 yarder.

Gatoraids

Ref got a hype man backing him up with the numbers

Petronel

Refs just said “fuck it, offsetting for everybody”

Recovery Whiskey

Like we used to call during pickup football arguments:

DO OVER

Downfield Matriculator

Dawkins should get ejected (and Allen should buy him a car). But so should Okafor — the whistle blew and he slammed him down anyway and that would be his second personal foul.

Mr. Ayo

Hurry the fuck up refs. This game is over and these penalties are meaningless.

Horatio Cornblower

Andy Reid is pissed because he timed his souffle to the end of this game and now it’s going to fall. IT’S GOING TO FALL, GODDAMN THE LOT OF YOU!!!

hippofant

I’d be okay with Andy just eating souffle on the sideline.

Dunstan

Please tell me we get 4th & 70

Horatio Cornblower

And then they score on a screen.

Downfield Matriculator

why are these idiots faulting them for going for 2 on the touchdown they got instead of the imaginary touchdowns that they did not get? This seems strange to me. Monty?

herodotus450

Personal foul to stop the clock, big brain move by the Bills.

Mother Puncher

Hell yea everybody lose your tempers

Horatio Cornblower

That should actually have been another 15-yarder on Okafor, who seems sort of dumb.

Horatio Cornblower

Did not see Allen throw the ball in Okafor’s face. Okafor still doesn’t seem likely to find the cure for, well anything really, but Allen’s gonna be right there with him in the same lab, spilling viruses all over the floor and starting fires in the kitchen.

Last edited 3 years ago by Horatio Cornblower
Recovery Whiskey

Handbags

Doktor Zymm

“Hambags? Where?”
-Andy Reid

Horatio Cornblower

Andy Reid’s current conference on the sideline: “No, I distinctly ordered extra fries and extra onion rings. Well when have you ever known me to order singles of each, huh? Answer me that, smart guy!”

herodotus450

“But I put out the hams team, how did that happen!?”
-Andy R.

Senor Weaselo

“They needed to be steamed.” -Seymour S., Springfield

hippofant

City ham, Andy, not country ham.