The 2021 Canadian women’s curling championship is here. The Scotties tournament of hearts. Formerly the Scott tournament of hearts. Previously the MacDonald Tobacco Company Lassie tournament (of damaged hearts who are way more fun than your teetotaling friends, Gordon. Lighten up and have a dart, eh?)
The Canadian championships - Scotties
I looked at the news today. One columnist was telling me that bro-nazis were overrunning the country. Seemingly hiding in every shrub and hedge like the hunch-backed commie of yesteryear.
The next pointed out that a nominally major national party used a study classifying anyone who discusses immigration levels in
Why do people like traveling?
You spends hours in line to do nothing somewhere else?
Crowd up with a pile of strangers in a big tube covered in body lice and old sweat for hours
Is that a good time?
I can’t think of any other reason
Your wife wants to take pictures of it?
Man, I love smoking.
Sure, some people have some complications. But if it was really that bad everyone would already be dead. The whole world used to smoke and enough of them made it through to put billions more people on the planet. As for the benefits? Let me tell you,
MY WAR AGAINST THE BURDS
I recently put grass seed down on some bare patches on my lawn. The front and the back. They must be watered regularly and, most of all, they can't be eaten by an army of filthy, thieving air rats. AKA birds. The little striped headed ones.
Government. Am I right?
I recently attempted to mail a standard, domestic mail package to a common acquaintance. The result was a two week wait to find out that the parcel was not able to be delivered and was therefore returned to me through a small metal flap next to my
Here we stand at the precipice of the culmination of the greatest theoretical sports competition of all time.
More thrilling than a hundred chess championships played end to end.
More theoretical than an e-sports athlete.
And more ladies screaming at frozen rocks than when those escorts finally agreed to visit my ice fishing
As I gaze upon my ocean of empties and my sea of liquor bottles, I have come to know just one thing is certain:
This may be due to the fact I spent the past couple weeks and now into this long weekend (and now my previously-booked vacation) watching the entire
Welcome to the semifinals of the 2020 Theoretical Women's World Curling Championships, broadcast live and in colour by your good friends at SCTV!
While many, many things that are Canadian or start with the word, "Canadian" may be considered "boring" to today's adderall-ridden youth, there are a handful of exceptions.
Take Canadian Football,
Welcome friends and fellow gleeful shut-ins (A world where staying at home all week is not only acceptable but encouraged is something I've dreamed of all my adult life) to the second round of the Theoretical Women's World Curling Championships! Held this year in the filthy, stench-filled sewer lovely and totally normal
Many days ago I went to buy a roll for my bathroom. I reached for the last one they had but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him I realized there had to be another way.
Man cornered in elevator:
What happened to the roll?
It was destroyed. But out
Welcome to the BC Dick Curling Hour! (or hours. Got some slow readers in this group)
We find our heroes, the local novice curling team, in a precarious position this week.
Holding our 6-2 record high but mired deep in the bog of a two-game losing streak, we entered the club under