DFO’s Ahmad Rashad Sits Down With The Coronavirus

The NFL is charging ahead with plans for the 2020 season despite the ongoing Coronavirus pandemic. In a world exclusive, DFO has sent former Minnesota Viking, husband to Claire Huxtable, and noted lickspittle Ahmad Rashad to chat with the Coronavirus itself. Why is it here? What does it think about

A Selection Of Phrases From Recent Posts That Would Make Good Bits Of Conversation Overheard In A House With Several People Working From Home

"I made pies, cookies, brownies, all the usual high caloric shit plus I made a loaf of bread." "...much less attractive than they were a few months ago." "It’s their first season in their new shared facility, and it will be interesting to follow the demarcation of the relationship." "Everybody dies." "...a culture of

A Selection Of Phrases From Recent Posts That Would Make Good Insults To Shout At G/O Media Types On The Street

"If you need to dress up as a nurse to get laid that’s on you, not me!" “It’s all your fault, dickhead!”  "You cock slapping shit-for-brains!" "Eli Manning!" "You fat American moron!" "With regards to nudity: no!" "I thought you were in Hell!” "I guess we’ll find out which one of us has got more luck in

Push Your Luck: Your 2018 Indianapolis Colts Preview

Welcome Door Flies Open completists, relatives of Indianapolis Colts players, and possibly a Colts fan or two. In this preview, I will share with you the best inside Colts information that an hour of Googling can dig up. However, before we begin the preview proper, let's look at some of

A Selection Of Phrases From Recent Posts That Would Make Good Line Items In Trump’s 2019 Budget

A deadly, destructive beam Being an international disgrace A good sized vessel to marinate your meat in Upper class twits Silly DC Russians Notoriously poor bookkeepers Porn girls Cookies in your gravy The collapse of the NFL More badass and German Dick measuring contests Repeat past mistakes A coup so to speak Just because Vegas Cybernetic right hand Gender & religious discrimination Genial shark-toothed smiles PFT's comments Looking

2016 Philadelphia Eagles Bye Week Update

Once in a great while, we sad sacks, we perpetually and correctly pessimistic schlubs, we grown-ass adults who overpay for garish shirts with zoo animals on them...once in a great while we see a glimmer of hope that tells us it might all be worth it. That's what it's been like

A Selection Of Phrases From Recent Posts That Would Make Good Headings In A Preview Of The 2016 Philadelphia Eagles

Welcome to DFO's preview of the 2016 Philadelphia Eagles, which should be as long, frustrating, and hackneyed as the team's season itself. With that kind of experience awaiting us, perhaps it's best we just get started and get this done with a minimum of fuss.   The 2016 Eagles were assembled by

A Selekshun Uff Phrases From Recent Posts Zat Vould Make Goot Werner Herzog Moofie Titles

My Pitiful Human Experience The Familial History of Schizophrenia Your Absent Stepfather Lost To Iceland This Wonder Site of Dreams and Wishes Roving Packs of Ham Beasts The Dark Blood Ritual of Penance God's Ongoing Quest To Drive Me Insane The Last Time We Had To Suffer Tormenting My Dreams With His Insipid Chant The Most Existing Thing Kroenke's Mustache An Independent

A Selection Of Phrases From Recent Posts That Would Make Good David Foster Wallace Essay Titles

I Should Have Listened To My Mother And Gone Into Carpentry Toys, Sports Equipment, Assorted Trash, And Other Shit The Swept-Up Dregs of the Knoxville Grammar Rodeo The History Of The Vancouver Canucks Is Marked By A Tragic Inability To Judge Talent Before I Begin, I Just Wanted To Complain About How Hot It