A Selection Of Phrases From Recent Posts That Would Make Good Headings In A Preview Of The 2016 Philadelphia Eagles

WhyEaglesWhy - August 25, 2016August 25, 2016

Welcome to DFO's preview of the 2016 Philadelphia Eagles, which should be as long, frustrating, and hackneyed as the team's season itself. With that kind of experience awaiting us, perhaps it's best we just get started and get this done with a minimum of fuss. The 2016 Eagles were assembled by

A Selekshun Uff Phrases From Recent Posts Zat Vould Make Goot Werner Herzog Moofie Titles

WhyEaglesWhy - July 14, 2016July 13, 2016

My Pitiful Human Experience The Familial History of Schizophrenia Your Absent Stepfather Lost To Iceland This Wonder Site of Dreams and Wishes Roving Packs of Ham Beasts The Dark Blood Ritual of Penance God's Ongoing Quest To Drive Me Insane The Last Time We Had To Suffer Tormenting My Dreams With His Insipid Chant The Most Existing Thing Kroenke's Mustache An Independent

Sunday Gravy with Why Eagles Why: Smoked Beef Brisket

WhyEaglesWhy - July 3, 2016July 3, 2016

When I got the idea to do a post about smoking, I asked yeah right if it was cool with him; I didn't want to invade his territory. Righteous guy that he is, not only did he say it was fine with him, but he invited me to take over Sunday

A Selection Of Phrases From Recent Posts That Would Make Good David Foster Wallace Essay Titles

WhyEaglesWhy - June 28, 2016June 28, 2016

I Should Have Listened To My Mother And Gone Into Carpentry Toys, Sports Equipment, Assorted Trash, And Other Shit The Swept-Up Dregs of the Knoxville Grammar Rodeo The History Of The Vancouver Canucks Is Marked By A Tragic Inability To Judge Talent Before I Begin, I Just Wanted To Complain About How Hot It

A Selection Of Phrases From Recent Posts That Would Make Good Prince Lyrics

WhyEaglesWhy - May 25, 2016May 25, 2016

I wanted to write something about Prince's recent death, and I also wanted to revive my "Selection Of..." posts. So why not do both, way too long after the moment has passed? To wit, A Selection Of Phrases From Recent Posts That Would Make Good Prince Lyrics: ...free to generate international heat... ...you only

Your Friday The 13th Open Thread

WhyEaglesWhy - May 13, 2016May 13, 2016

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Today I bring you an open thread from the future, where it is already Friday the 13th in DFO's Adelaide bureau, but only the waning hours of the 12th in our Wichita headquarters. I can report that nothing unlucky has happened yet, but based on my understanding of theoretical physics, there's

DFO Field Trip: Walking The AFL Beat

WhyEaglesWhy - March 31, 2016March 31, 2016

It's been quite a while since I posted, and I was looking for a way to jump back in. DFO's burgeoning interest in football from the land down under has prompted me to write about my trip to the footy grounds for the Port Adelaide Power's Easter Sunday clash with

Theatre Review: Ho Ho Horrendous

WhyEaglesWhy - December 10, 2015December 10, 2015

An unavoidable part of every critic’s job is sitting through the bad as well as the good. It is simply a hazard of the profession. However, enduring “Christmastime Is Here” as staged by Miss Othmar’s class at St. Paul Elementary School is a sacrifice not to be asked of anyone.

The Tale of The Texan

WhyEaglesWhy - October 31, 2015October 30, 2015

A few years ago, on Halloween night, a lovely young lady consented to accompany me on a date. HEY, COME BACK, THAT'S NOT THE SCARY PART! After a romantic dinner at Sizzler, we drove to Lovers’ Lane so I could work off that five slices of cheese toast. It was at a

Your Eagles Bye Week Review: The Walking Dead

DFOing Good

WhyEaglesWhy - October 28, 2015October 27, 2015

The bye week has come, and the 2015 Philadelphia Eagles are dead. They just don’t know it yet. This team came into the season as a darling of media prognosticators and barstool pundits alike. The groundswell of Eagles support started as a contrarian, too-clever effort to get in on a team

The DFO Interview: Scott Hanson

The DFO Interview

WhyEaglesWhy - September 23, 2015September 22, 2015

“Honey, where’s my pajama pants with the little helmets on them?” I’m catching up with Scott Hanson at home as he gets ready for another Sunday behind the desk. “Yeah, I wear pajama pants at work. I’m behind that desk for 7 hours, so I want to be comfortable.” Hanson is the wildly

A Selection Of Phrases From Recent Posts That Would Make Good Excerpts From Snooty Wine Tasting Notes

WhyEaglesWhy - September 11, 2015September 9, 2015

"...arbitrary and sanctimonius..." "...a long way down from the unrelenting quality of..." "...this two-year vet that's just aching to blossom..." "...its transient, opaque identity..." "...the juggernaut that was the 1994..." "...sometimes, geography was the science..." "...dark, foreboding, and imposing..." "...ranked really, really, high, and I can't quite figure out why..." "...scorched brussels sprouts..." "...outright olfactory torture..." "...the final round brought