Horatio’s DFO 2020 Will Never End Mock Draft 2.0 And Open Thread

Greetings, fellow shut-ins.  We like to use the term 'shut-ins' around here to mock our propensity for staying indoors on our various devices while talking about football, lesser football, boobs, butts, and why Trump sucks, but in truth these days we are all, with the rest of the world, literal

The Mock Of The Red Draft

A plague had long devastated the country.  No pestilence had ever been so fatal, (except for pretty much all them that had come before), or so hideous, (although actually leprosy, bubonic plagues, and most hemorrhagic fevers were probably more hideous), or so subject to a 24/7 media addicted to ratings

Horatio Had A Long Week And Missed The Deadline So Here’s A Clip Show For Dallas

(Caption for picture above:  "The Jets!?  The fucking Jets!?") When I wrote the season preview, which I have shamelessly cut-and-pasted into this post, Zeke Elliott was holding out in Mexico.  I predicted, correctly that he'd be signed, rich, and playing by Week 1 and by God he was.  I also predicted

Horatio’s Wildly Inaccurate 2019 Mock Draft

I started the initial draft of this post, in good faith mind you, sometime back in February, with the idea that I'd knock out 2-3 teams at a clip and cruise into my self-imposed and utterly meaningless 3/20 deadline with ease.  I did not, however, learn anything from last year,