Author: Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Request Line: Toeing the Line

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly -
146

INT. RECORDING STUDIO - DAY The regular one again? WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP I'M ON A TIGHT SCHEDULE HERE. [huffily] INT. RECORDING STUDIO - DAY The PRODUCER sits at his desk, with a pile of items in front of him.  DJ 3000 is standing nearby, looking apprehensive.  The PRODUCER carefully builds

Request Line: Character Concerns

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly -
174

INT. RECORDING STUDIO - DAY The regular one this time? Yes, the regular one. Not, like some new one down the hall that we've never heard of before. No, would you please stop interrupting. Sometimes it feels like you're just in love with the sound of your own voice. Well, this is a radio show.

Request Line: Madness

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly -
172

INT. RECORDING STUDIO B - DAY Wait, there's another recording studio? Always has been. Is it in a different part of the radio station, or... Listen, can we just get on with it? INT. RECORDING STUDIO B - DAY We join a show in progress in Recording Studio B - the regular host sits at his

Request Line: Stick to Sports

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly -
131

INT. RECORDING STUDIO - DAY Ah, so back to normal. Well, not really. Oh, shit. What now? You'll see.  INT. RECORDING STUDIO - DAY The studio sits vacant.  The PRODUCER is nowhere to be seen, and DJ 3000 is in his normal position, lights flashing like a pinball machine.  DJ 3000: ...HE SHOOTS HE SCORES! [looks

Request Line: Nationalities

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly -
121

INT. STADIUM - DAY Wait, it's an open roof stadium, wouldn't that be EXT.?  Yeah, but they're in a luxury box, so technically it's an interior shot where lighting design will be required. Oh, okay.  Ahem. As I was saying... INT. STADIUM - DAY A pair of sleazy Hollywood producers are sitting in comfortable chairs in

Request Line: Holier Than Thou

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly -
164

INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY The PRODUCER sits at the sound board, finishing up the setup for the upcoming show.  DJ 3000 is alert, sitting in his regular position in the studio.  PRODUCER: Hey man, thanks so much for saving me from Derek Carr last week. DJ 3000: YOU MEAN DAVID CARR, AND

Request Line: Blood

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly -
150

INT. RECORDING STUDIO – NIGHT Wait, doesn't the show usually take place during the day? I'M SORRY DID I FUCKING STUTTER? INT. RECORDING STUDIO - THE MIDDLE OF THE GODDAMNED NIGHT The PRODUCER sits at the sound board, setting things up for the upcoming show.  The recording booth is dark, and the PRODUCER

Request Line: Hair Care

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly -
120

INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY The PRODUCER sits comfortably at the sound board, setting things up for the upcoming show.  DJ 3000 remains up against the wall, performing a deep memory scan.  The PRODUCER finishes making some adjustments to the sliders, then taps on the glass of the recording booth to

Request Line: Wishful Thinking

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly -
147

INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY The PRODUCER sits comfortably at the sound board, setting things up for the upcoming show.  He's been reunited with DJ 3000, who has successfully returned after being trapped for months in a time loop.  Only...something feels a little bit different.  PRODUCER: Man, does it feel good to

The Carol of the Bowls

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly -
17

Dry January has come to an end, and with it, the sobriety of many.  I always thought that Dry January was silly; this year I came up with what I thought would be a more productive alternative: try to stay sober for at least one seven-day stretch per month.  But

The Rules of Play Action

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly -
45

Set in the shadow of the decaying buildings and streets of Baltimore, The Rules of Play Action is a startlingly funny, kaleidoscopic novel about three kharacters with no plans for the future - or even the present - who become entangled in a curious romantic triangle. Rikki-Tikki-Deadly trains his incisive