The D of S, Vol. II: Alle Porte del Purgatorio

Through the climb of Ante-Purgatory, about five minutes after the last volume ended TWBS: Hey, why'd you do that? We could have watched football and had beer and nachos with Gerry Ford! Senor: As much fun as that would have been we have to move. I know, it's unfortunate, but we would've

#DisBelieveland: 2020 Cleveland Browns Bye Week Update

Quick: without looking at their record, are the Cleveland Browns a good team or a bad team?   Got an answer?   You're wrong.  Whichever way you answered, you're wrong.   Cleveland is a Limited Heisenberg Uncertainty Team: at any given time, you can know where they are, but you can't know where they are going.

Curse Yeeeewwww, International Breaks (and White Male Privilege) Open Thread

I still stand by my decision to turn the teevee off Thursday night.  But, oh how I enjoyed some Friday morning schadenfreude.  Yeah, the "uber-smart" G.O.A.T. (Fucker)...forgot what down it was during the final, failed drive.  But what that funny little moment really did, to my mind? Illustrate the insidiousness of

Football’s Sh***iest Cosplay: Your 2020 Detroit Lions Season Preview

Hot Taek: The Detroit Lions are perhaps the most consistently DFO Team in the league. Why? Schadenfreude. They jettisoned Jim Caldwell for the sin of going 9-7 in consecutive years. At that point, they hired Matt Patricia from the Patriots.  Bob Quinn had been hired from the Greatriots in 2016 and

Stand For The Anthem, Lie Down For The Ventilator: Your 2020 Dallas Cowboys Preview

I intended to praise Jerry Jones for his work in this year's draft, albeit work that he undoubtedly had a lot of help with while working the phones from his supervillain yacht.  And he did deserve that praise; while it's foolish to grade drafts in their immediate aftermath, based on

And To Celebrate, We’re Having Ribs: Your 2020 Reigning, Defending, Super Bowl Champion Kansas City Chiefs Preview

Last year I agreed to do the Chiefs preview, since apparently none of us here in the clubhouse root for the Chiefs, other than in the so far vain hope that Chiefs success will lure Otto back into the fold from whatever witness protection program he wandered into after failing

A Feast of Crow: 2020 San Francisco 49ers Preview

Longtime readers know that I have gone on at interminable length regarding my semi-papal near-infallibility.  I am almost never wrong, and it drives Dr. Mrs. Mayhem fucking insane. But God has no place on the West Coast.  The 6-10 49ers actually went 13-3.  Trip to the Super Bowl. Fuckit. I do feel

I Can See Cleeeeeaarrrly Now, Tom Braaaaady’s Gone: 2020 Buffalo Bills Season Preview

[Author's Note: Despite the overwhelmingly positive response to last year's All Interpretive Dance team preview, I have decided not to go back to that well a second year in a row.  Try to contain your disappointment.] So here it is.  It's finally happening.  Like Christmas morning, high school graduation and losing

The Burning Stream: Your 2020 Cleveland Browns Season Preview

Cleveland, Ohio is a wonderful city, bursting with many shining examples of culture, fine dining and friendly people. Every single word of that sentence is a filthy lie, except for "Cleveland," "Ohio" and "City."  And frankly, "city" is being generous.  I would have gone with "penal colony," except that usually requires