Dok Zymm – International Woman of Mystery – Chapter 1

Author's Note: This series of posts is borne out of my firm belief that Commentist Dok Zymm is actually a secret agent for a nefarious secret agency currently unknown to the general public or even Congress. Her current job serves as a perfect cover to gather intelligence while her

Balls on…The College Football Playoff

We just recently finished the semifinals and are eagerly awaiting the final and I don't think everyone is happy. This is where I usually come in. Let's just say the Balls-Signal went out. As usual, I will come in and either fix things or make them worse with everyone complaining about

Your “Mele Kalikimaka” Christmas Evening Open Thread I wouldn't mind being in Hawaii right now, truth be told.  I wouldn't be freezing my ass off. But I'm not in Hawaii.  And I AM freezing my ass off. I just finished wrapping a bunch of crap for people who won't appreciate it.  I'm still fighting with a company which still

I Watched It So You Didn’t Have To: Santa Girl

Welcome back to DFO’s Annual Christmas movies review. This feature is where one of us poor bastards watches a Christmas movie and summarizes it for you, so you can go for a snooze or drink more booze when your significant other forces you to watch the movie. Today’s Christmas movie

Balls on… Miss Universe

Some of you may have heard about the latest controversy surrounding the Miss Universe pageant and pageants in general. To be fair, the whole concept of a beauty pageant is, in my opinion, akin to the concept of a college football national champion being crowned by secret votes and

Sexy Soccer Saturday Morning Open Thread and Champions League Group Stage Review

Good morning everyone! Today is the first day this fall without any college football! No, Army-Navy doesn't count as football. It's on par with Russian military parades and North Korean Dear Leader rallies as far as the propaganda machine goes. So, I am completely ignoring it and focusing on the

Boots on the Ground! Hollywood Bowl for Vampire Weekend.

One of the ongoing features that we here at [DFO] will periodically share is our "Boots On The Ground"  series. When one of our gifted and talented and no doubt drunk writers journeys to places of note, we like to regale the readers here with photos, tales and remembrances of

Balls on ASSignment: Thursday Night Football Review Week Eight

Welcome back! Last night, we got the still-undefeated San Francisco 49ers going against the Arizona Cardinals in Phoenix. This meant that the "home" crowd had a healthy mix of away fans and people in town with nothing to do. It was a good game for a bit and then

The Return of Temptation Island Talk: Episode 3

The title of this episode was "Guilt Ridden" but it really should have been "White Ashley's Ass Comes Out". There will be a screenshot and I will scour the Internet for gifs. It's.... something. Episode 3 aired on Thursday night last week when the Minnesota Vikings beat the

Balls on ASSignment: Thursday Night Football Review Week Eight

Welcome back! Last night, we got a weird oddball matchup of the Washington American Football team versus the Vikings. I don't think I can remember any memorable matchups between these two teams in the past. We had to watch football because baseball is taking a break after the Washington