Wild Card Weekend Warmups!

King Hippo - January 13, 2024January 11, 2024

What tasty treats await us all - presuming one is staying inside watching TV. God help you if you are ATTENDING the Saturday night Chefs/Fins tilt. Your bollocks are likely to freeze plum off. Or, I suppose, your lady bollocks (sorry, TayTay). But first, Lesser Footy awaits. The Prem is thankfully

Into the PeriloUs Void – Early Saturday Open Thread

King Hippo - January 6, 2024January 5, 2024

What, did you wake up and hope to see Premiership footy? And then JV NFL?? Too bad, you get nothing. Absolute fuckall. Well, there are FA Cup ties, though the draw was pretty uninspiring (though surely nothing can bottom out as badly as Everton's dreadful nil-nil away to Palace on Thursday, when

A Hippocratic Footballing Good-Bye to 2023

King Hippo - December 30, 2023December 29, 2023

Good morning, and congratulations for making it through another year of Hippo's nonsense. I will have NFL recap and JV NFL verbal diarrhea for y'all again on Monday, but that's a matter for next year. No goddamned resolutions. Self-improve or don't, but who gives a fuck about same in relation to

Feats of Festivus Strength Thread (with Some Footy)

King Hippo - December 23, 2023December 22, 2023

Welcome to Festivus 2023. We've all got ample complaints, I am certain. Happily, we do get an early bird special, and its David Moyes Vengeance - Fronk's Hammers hosting Wakey's Men Untied (7:30, USA). Men Untied are coming off perhaps their best effoUrt of the season, which is good. But it

Ides +1 of December Football-ganza

King Hippo - December 16, 2023December 14, 2023

We have lots of Premiership fun, lots of super-duper mediocre JV NFL exhibitions. Our esteemed scotchnaut will be here shortly to cover the real entertainment product of the day (so happy the Donks got picked for late night). Without further ado, this what yew git: You can sleep in, no early

Welcome to Hayell! – Sad Sportsball Calendar Open Thread

King Hippo - December 9, 2023December 8, 2023

107

The abyss, it layeth before thee. Just so happens, I heard this tune while driving mid-week: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yS2IBMQIjDo I am reasonably sure that this group had some Raleigh-scene connection, maybe even to Hippo's favoUrite college band (Sex Police). Still trying to verify that. UPDATE - holy shit, I was right for once! The start

Enter December JV NFL Championship Saturday Thread

King Hippo - December 2, 2023December 1, 2023

105

Yes, all good things must come to an end. But first, we have Lesser Footy - which thankfully is fairly infinite its benevolence. No Early Bird fixture, nice of the Prem to be considerate of how late we had to stay up to watch the last PAC-tion title game. Arsenal hosting

Holiday House Saturday Lesser Footy

King Hippo - November 25, 2023November 22, 2023

238

I guess it makes sense to feature this during Thanksgiving: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9fk2aLY07o Fuck, ain't that just amazing work? Now, exit your nostalgic stupor, we've got FOOTBALL to watch. City of Men take on the filthy Redshite, bright and early (7:30, Peacock). YMMV, but I can't really bear to watch. Robins Hood and Trashbirds get the

Veteran’s Day Weekend Lesser Footy Morning

King Hippo - November 11, 2023November 9, 2023

142

I guess my law firm must HATE TEH TROOPZ because we get neither Friday nor Monday off. But that's ok, I do all my shit from home so we might just have lots of "client development" time entries. Y'all could be clients some day (well, the ones with the worst

November Delight – JV NFL and Lesser Footy Extravaganza

King Hippo - November 4, 2023November 2, 2023

Nut cuttin' time is here, y'all. Also, I apologize in advance for next week's stupid international break. Don't forget to wave at the Clubhouse degenerates who have assembled in Las Vegas! Mighty Whitey (fresh off a midweek Caribou triumph) get reeling Men Untied (fresh off a home spanking by Geordie Arabia's B

Back in the Saddle to Close October – JV NFL and Lesser Footy

King Hippo - October 28, 2023October 26, 2023

125

Damn, I will miss October. Perfect month, with conference schedules heating up, NFL taking things up a notch, being able to shut down the HVAC system and enjoy a nice window-fed breeze. That said, November ALSO kicks ass, so no need for mourning. How will Chelski react to blowing a 2-nil lead

The “Why Grandpa Hippo Is Extra Angry” Lesser Footy Thread

King Hippo - October 21, 2023October 18, 2023

255

Because, goddamnit. It's Derby Day, and as usual we have no fucking chance to even swindle a point out of those Redshite Motherfuckers. The game is on USA at 7:30 EST. Which hopefully means I will sleep through it. Poor little grandson Bronco doesn't yet know to give me a wide berth