Your Jets at the Bye Rant

The minimum word count's still broke, so let's do this: Let's put 5 minutes on the clock and see what I can type out. Ready? Go. The New York Jets are BAD. Forget winless bad, a lot of teams can do that. I'm talking great works of badness in history. I'm

Oh Yeah, It’s Time for a Jets Preview (or, Quarantine in the Underworld)

Scene: The underworld! Hades, the god of the Greek underworld, and Persephone, his wife and the goddess of both the underworld and vegetation, are at home watching the Marble League, because of course they are. Persephone is wearing a Raspberry Racers shirt, while Hades is wearing, out of all teams,

Your “It’s Almost Over And We Learned So Little” Sunday Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

Shall we get right at it? We shall. TO THE GAMES! Jets/Bills: [shakes head] The Jets won 6 games? How? Anyhow, it's not a far reach to posit that as a kid, Josh Allen must have thrived during 'unstructured playtime'. Browns/Bengals: Much like Sex Panther, this game smells like Bigfoot's dick. One must give Cincy

Another Jets Preview in the Underworld, 2019 Edition

Right, this. Uh, shit. I haven't been down in a while, being busy and all. Eh, let's start this and I imagine someone will call and yell at me. So! Another year, another Jets preview. Oh, another coach, this time replacing Todd "Not Sally" Bowles (I've wanted to use that for a

NFL Speakeasy Stories: Relinquish

Angel’s Share, East Village. 2:47 am, May 22nd, 2019 Door handles. Door handles jiggle when they are locked. Why do door handles jiggle when they are locked but turn smoothly otherwise? This thing isn't even supposed to be locked. These are the thoughts of a typically straight-laced professional on the tail end

Your [checks with Brick] “Mid-Morning, Maybe Early Afternoon, Late Autumn-ish, at the very least” Open Thread Featuring Football

Can we just all agree to disagree and pretend as though it wasn't important yet silently grumble to ourselves about 'that guy'? It's The Passive-Aggressive Way! Let's wander once more into the britches. TO THE GAMES! Jets/Titans: Tenny had plans to ram the ball right down its opponents throats all year long but