Place: A dark forest
Time: A few minutes after TWBS got kicked out of St. Peter's gates
TWBS and BALLS are walking along a path in the dark forest. BALLS is catching TWBS up on what's happened since he's... left.
TWBS: Wait, so Beastie started writing HRTN again?!?
Time: A few months ago.
A bearded man wearing a baseball cap, a golf shirt, basketball shorts, and tennis shoes squints his eyes open as he wakes up from what seems like a long dream. He looks for his computer to log on to the site he writes
*Camera goes on to reveal Donald Trump inside Trump Tower late at night. Trump is holding and reading from his ipad, with a smile on his face, until he reads the latest headline on AOL's main page*
Trump in a sarcastic voice: Oh you really nailed me there, Oliver. I've been
Do you like the national anthem controversy? Well then I have a team for you! In a desperate act to get people to stop associating their team with Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, the Miami Dolphins have now become associated with fascism. Way to go guys!
Last season, Kenny Stills, Donkey Kong
Crank that music up!!!
First Circle (Limbo) – Most injuries happen before the game even starts, yet we have been blessed to see so many players go down during them (phrasing!). Andrew Luck and Marshawn Lynch both sat out last week to heal some nagging injuries killing anyone playing them in
First Circle (Limbo) – Dez Bryant's broken foot, Josh McNown's Head, and Terrell Suggs torn Achilles.
Second Circle (Lust) – Jamis Winston. The rookie QB showdown was great they combined for 7 touchdowns thrown... 5 of them were to Titan players and one of those 5 was thrown by Winston. Winston and
First Circle (Limbo) – P is for Patella. Victor Cruz hurt his knee and is questionable for week 1
Second Circle (Lust) – A is for Andy's Alleged Attempted Asphyxiation. Way to go Browns
Third Circle (Gluttony) – T is for Tebow getting cut... It just feels too good for it not to be
I apologize for the tardiness. I forgot to plug-in my phone and overslept.
First Circle (Limbo) – Randall Cobb's shoulder - As a Bears fan I wish Cobb a long... very long slow recovery. I would like to remind him that his health is more important than trying to rush back
Imagine you are running wildly into the dark woods. You hear the thundering clamor of paws chasing you. In the faint moonlight, you see what looks to be a Lion, a Jaguar, and a She-Bear chasing you deeper and deeper into the woods until you come about a great hill.
First Circle (Limbo) – Kevin White's shin - Severe shin splints lands Kevin White onto the PUP list leaving all Chicago fans to say "Yeah but look what ODB did in New York"
Second Circle (Lust) – Brandon Weeden - Know what it takes to make a drunken party boy look
First Circle (Limbo) – Arian Foster's shredded groin and Michael Floyd's broken fingers, both will miss most of the first half of the season.
Second Circle (Lust) – Nothing like a lover scorned and Brandon Marshall's finger pointing lands him here. (Side note the Jet's streak continues everyone!)
Third Circle (Gluttony) – Buffalo Bills don't
This isn't Duchess' Inferno. If anything I am Virgil, here to guide you on a tour... well o.k. probably I am more akin to Virgin since this is my first time.
First Circle (Limbo) – the Kommunity. Limbo is a place for people who would have had a great day/week had