Two things this past year has brought me unbridled joy. The two things almost seem like they are dichotomy opposed. See, my girlfriend struggles with anxiety, so she has a weekly call with her psychologist. During these calls, I put on my 2020 outdoor wear. Which looks like a cross
Place: At the beginning of the Ninth and Final Circle of Hell
Time: Two minutes after TWBS got the shit scared out of him by the loudest ass hockey horn he's ever heard.
TWBS: Ok, so if they're not towers, what are they?
The duo continue walking and finally TWBS
Place: At the top of the bloody waterfall and that's not a British adjective it's literally a waterfall created out of a river of blood.
Time: About ten seconds after TWBS peeked over the waterfall and saw a nasty creature swimming up towards him and Balls.
TWBS: What the fuck
Place: At the top of a very steep slope created by an earthquake when Jesus went down to hell.
Time: About twenty five seconds after Balls shot a finger gun into the air
TWBS and BALLS singing/yelling together: MY NECK! MY BACK! LICK MY PUSSY AND MY CRACK!
Place: Just inside the walls of the City of Dis
Time: About five seconds after Balls and TWBS passed the Mexican devil birds that scattered when the Angel in a pissy mood opened the gate.
TWBS: Why did you say WESTSIIIIIIIDE when we walked in?
BALLS: It's fun! You
Place: Just above the Fourth Circle of Hell
Time: About five seconds after Balls and TWBS passed Plutus, God of Wealth and Shitty Circle Guard.
TWBS has seen what seems to be millions and billions of souls deep in the middle of a large circular valley. They are
Place: Just inside the Third Circle of Hell
Time: About five minutes after BALLS carried TWBS out of the Second Circle of Hell.
TWBS slowly regains consciousness after having fainted.
TWBS: Whut, where am I?
BALLS: You are in the Third Circle of Hell.
TWBS: What happened?
BALLS: Despite me
Place: Just outside the Castle of Limbo
Time: A few minutes after TWBS and BALLS leave the Castle of Limbo.
TWBS and BALLS are walking away from the castle and down a dark slope
TWBS: So, he was an asshole, right?
BALLS: Listen, I'll grant you that I prefer Euclid,
Place: A dark forest
Time: A few minutes after TWBS got kicked out of St. Peter's gates
TWBS and BALLS are walking along a path in the dark forest. BALLS is catching TWBS up on what's happened since he's... left.
TWBS: Wait, so Beastie started writing HRTN again?!?
Time: A few months ago.
A bearded man wearing a baseball cap, a golf shirt, basketball shorts, and tennis shoes squints his eyes open as he wakes up from what seems like a long dream. He looks for his computer to log on to the site he writes
*Camera goes on to reveal Donald Trump inside Trump Tower late at night. Trump is holding and reading from his ipad, with a smile on his face, until he reads the latest headline on AOL's main page*
Trump in a sarcastic voice: Oh you really nailed me there, Oliver. I've been
Do you like the national anthem controversy? Well then I have a team for you! In a desperate act to get people to stop associating their team with Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, the Miami Dolphins have now become associated with fascism. Way to go guys!
Last season, Kenny Stills, Donkey Kong