It was a Wednesday. Or maybe a Thursday. When you reach my age they all pretty much run together until the weekend, and then those days go by faster than anything your prostate has a say in and you're back in the workweek before you know it. No, all I
A quick Spanish lesson for you Canadian types here:
Rio Nuevo translates to New River and is the name of the downtown revitalization initiative introduced in Chapter 3.
El Rio translates to The River and is the name of one of Tucson City Golf's four remaining municipal golf courses. El Rio exists
We've talked quite a bit here about the history of Tucson, Arizona and how foolish they would be ever to sit down with the piranhas that are NFL negotiators regarding the foolish half-cocked Alazona proposal that was briefly floated to fill dormant offseason news cycles that, before signing their extension
EXTERIOR, NORTH CAROLINA OUTER BANKS, EMERALD ISLE
tWBS has caught a nice wave and is getting ready to move up the face to try a few maneuvers. It's his tenth wave of an epic day in which he has surfed to his heart's content with hardly anyone else in the
INTERIOR, A SHITTY RENTED AUDI HATCHBACK WITH FULL COLLISION COVERAGE, THE A-3, HEADING SOUTH PAST THE FRANKFURT AIRPORT
Balls: So, where exactly are we going?
tWBS:I don't care anymore.
Hippo (looking sideways at Balls): Whaddayasay we hang out in Frankfurt? I've heard good things!
Balls (exchanging glances with Hippo): Yeah!
There's a reason why we went backwards chronologically.
At the end of this one, hopefully you'll understand.
This story is a bit convoluted in several ways. And it might have been the biggest mistake of my life. I'm going to try to tell it accurately, but it's been a while. Please bear
No one really cares about this team. The last time they were interesting, Mike Alstott was winning fans' hearts two yards at a time, and Jon Gruden was considered a quality football mind. With that in mind, this preview is gonna be a listicle. I'm lazy, you don't care, it's
INTERIOR, THE FASTEST CAR IN THE WORLD, A RENTED AUDI HATCHBACK WITH FULL COLLISION COVERAGE, THE A-3, JUST INSIDE GERMANY
Hippo: YEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAWWWWWWW I AM FOOOOOOKKKINNN CRAAAAAAAZZZZZYYYYYY!!!
Balls (in the backseat, crossing myself): ¡¡Jesús, María, José!!
tWBS (riding shotgun because he called it a half a second before
I started this story last week. And I tried to be very careful in what I said and how I said it. I will admit that in the moment, nearly three years ago, I did not handle it particularly well.
In fact, I handled it very not well. Being betrayed will do
EXTERIOR, THE PORT OF AMSTERDAM
Balls: Alright, boys! We're here!
Hippo (carrying luggage): Hold up!
tWBS: Aren't you happy that we flew WOW airlines now?
Balls: You know, I have to give it up to you. It certainly makes getting around a lot easier.
tWBS: So, how are we
I have to be careful about this one. Very, very careful. But let's give it a shot.
Balls: Don't worry, I'm here to make sure you're ok.
tWBS: Hey, that's mighty nice of you!
Balls: And to make sure you don't fuck up.
tWBS: Asshole. Ok fine, let's just get this over with...
EXTERIOR, THE HORSESHOE PUB, LONDON, EC1R 0AG,
THE NEXT MORNING
Balls: Are you sure it's a wise move to go back to the pub? What if Mary is there?
tWBS: Oh, there's no chance of that. There was... an accident.
Balls: What?!? Again?
tWBS: It wasn't my fault!