Happy P*ts Schadenfreude Day 2020 Hippo Thoughts

Oh my cats, y'all, El Tractorcito y Mas Erotic Smashmouth did it!!! Where to start?  Tanny Fanny had been a revelation ever since taking over the starting job.  ALL the advanced metrics said he was not only good, but GREAT.  Sustainable great. Until he wasn't.  And mein Gott, how he wasn't.  Except for one

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 15, 2019 Season

Hippo hopes y'all had a nice weekend.  There was no FITBAW on Saturday, which sucked ass.  Next weekend will be better that way.  Also, I had a killer migraine all day Sunday, which really dampered my enjoyment of Everton taking a nice point at Old Trafford.  It also impacted my

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 14, 2019 Season

Despite the very ending of the late window - this was a really great FITBAW Sunday (otherwise).  Let's not let that spoil things! [Closed Captioning for the Hard of Hippo provided by the Church of The Immaculate Suzy, Rev. Mayhem presiding] We had Most Glorious Scorinami [a unique scoring combination never before recorded

Commentist Beer Barrel: Heineken

Heineken is an amoral mercantile outfit that appropriated the Red Star. Still, please: put down your pitchforks and torches, because I like their beer. Per Wikipedia: Heineken Lager Beer (Dutch: Heineken Pilsener)—wait. Is Heineken a Pilsener or lager? The bottle says “lager”, which settles the issue. At least for me, because I’m not

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 13, 2019 Season

I like to stay away from the super deep thoughts.  Because deep down, comedian Doug Stanhope has it right - the key to life is to not give a shit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCGkVyyDOcU When you care, you get fucked over.  Especially in sportsball.  But we can't help it. Lucky #13 held true for some of