Hockey and Hooch Thursday night open thread

Are you a toothless drunk named Gary? Do you like watching toothless ice football players? Do you like booze?  Have we* got a rushed, poorly researched, barely thought about, quarter assed post for you. Get well soon BeerGuyRob Here at DFO we quizzed the masses** and asked what drink would you

#DisBelieveland: 2020 Cleveland Browns Bye Week Update

Quick: without looking at their record, are the Cleveland Browns a good team or a bad team?   Got an answer?   You're wrong.  Whichever way you answered, you're wrong.   Cleveland is a Limited Heisenberg Uncertainty Team: at any given time, you can know where they are, but you can't know where they are going.

Nobody’s Chargers 2020 Season Preview: No Control

INTERIOR – NONDESCRIPT DOMICILE, CARSON, CA – EVENING [A MAN sits alone on a couch in his living room, completely fixated on the TV in front of him, despite the fact that nothing particularly interesting is on it. His gaze is so intent, that he hardly blinks and certainly doesn't hear

Football’s Sh***iest Cosplay: Your 2020 Detroit Lions Season Preview

Hot Taek: The Detroit Lions are perhaps the most consistently DFO Team in the league. Why? Schadenfreude. They jettisoned Jim Caldwell for the sin of going 9-7 in consecutive years. At that point, they hired Matt Patricia from the Patriots.  Bob Quinn had been hired from the Greatriots in 2016 and

“Making A Murderer” – A 2020 Packers Preview?

  For Immediate Release THE NEXT SEASON OF NETFLIX'S HIGHLY ACCLAIMED "MAKING A MURDERER" SERIES WILL FOCUS ON THE EMERGING POSSIBILITY OF MULTIPLE PREMEDITATED MURDERS OCCURRING IN GREEN BAY, WISCONSIN BEFORE THE END OF 2020 Hollywood, CA -- September 2, 2020 -- Making A Murderer, the highly acclaimed Netflix series that focused on

Quarantine Blues: Minnesota Vikings Team Preview

banner image via {Exterior, Coach Mike Zimmer’s ranch in Northern Kentucky} Date: Mid June 2020 [Door Flies Open] Coach Zimmer: "Jesus Fuck if I have to spend another day inside this house I'm gonna lose my fucking mind!" [Coach dressed in gym shorts and t-shirt walks to his garage where his home fitness center is] CZ: "I'm

A Post-Doctoral Thesis On Economic Incentive & The Free Market – An Atlanta Falcons 2020 Preview

Fade in: The Greene Science Center at Columbia University. A slightly disheveled beverage purveyor, in newly-purchased pants, is about to address a collected panel. Beerguyrob: Esteemed professors, fellow Ph.D candidates, gathered audience members, ladies & gentlemen, and - for some reason - Arthur Laffer, Thank you for your time today. My presentation

Stand For The Anthem, Lie Down For The Ventilator: Your 2020 Dallas Cowboys Preview

I intended to praise Jerry Jones for his work in this year's draft, albeit work that he undoubtedly had a lot of help with while working the phones from his supervillain yacht.  And he did deserve that praise; while it's foolish to grade drafts in their immediate aftermath, based on

New Orleans Saints Season Preview: A DJ TAJ Joint

Oh What, You Don't have one of these? It's Okay You can Kiss mine     Football, what’s football? I know what a pandemic is, I didn’t used to, but I damn sure know now. First let me say that of course I want the cherished game televised in all its splendor right in my

Is It Every Other Year Again Already? A 2020 NY Giants Preview

Back in 2016 it was Ben McAdoo holding the reins and in 2018 Pat Shurmur came to town-now it's two years on and previously unknown Pats Special Teams coach Joe Judge wowed 69 (don't even start) year-old Dave Gettleman and 65 year-old John Mara. Mara & Gettleman: "Wow, you actually brought