Last year I started to watch the Sunday games with the sound off, to let The Family put music. My hope was that they would tolerate 10+ hours of NFL on TV. (They didn’t, and don’t.) Still, I preferred watching games without SUDDENLY SO LOUD commercials, or narratives, tropes, and hype from announcers, color commentators, studio analysts, and whatever the hell Tony Siragusa is. Now I regret not having watched that Shanahan-RGIII playoff game with La Lupe singing rancorously in the background Ask me what I can give youu / I don’t mind being yoours / Without any conditioons AY! AY! AY! Would’ve been better, is all.
As accurately reported, Week 14 was dreadful. It could get worse: most of the remaining regular season games are meaningless, will be terrible, or both. So taking a cue from the tastefully bourgeois folk who dared to pair beer and candy, here are my suggested listening options for the full slate of Week 15 games, by way of blatantly ripping off paying homage to Rikki-Tikki-Deadly’s awesome DFO Radio posts.
Bucs @ Rams – Jandek and a car alarm
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljzTdPsAmVw
Chiefs @ Ravens – Frank Zappa demo tapes
Bills @ Slurs – U2 and other super blah bands that get by only on name recognition
Texans @ Colts – Power ballads from Guns ‘N Roses, Cinderella, Stryper, Poison…
Jets @ Cowboys – 90s boy bands and Intravenus de Milo
Titans @ Patriots – The North Korean National Anthem and the Benny Hill end-credits song, again and again
Bears @ Vikings – Polka, reggae, bachata, or other genres which consist of only one song, played in different ways
Panthers @ Giants – Interminable live Led Zeppelin songs that have an awesome part in the middle or at the end
[It’s in there, my guess is after the fucking violin bow part. Via Terrence Bootlegs]
Falcons @ Jaguars – Sandinista! (Sides 2-6, for the first three quarters), London Calling (4th quarter)
Packers @ Raiders – Seems like a monster game, but it’s difficult to see how it will play out. To cover all bases: Are You Experienced?, Multiviral, Tyrannosaurus Hives, The Battle for Los Angeles, Dynamo
Browns @ Seahawks – This, over, and over, and over, and over…
Bengals @ 49ers – Modest Mouse, Nickelback, and Papa Roach, interspersed with the humming version of the Nationwide song.
Dolphins @ Chargers – A massive block of plodding Mariachi music; that annoying trumpet and Ai Aaa Aiaiaeeeeees presage all the punts, fumbles, and pick-6es.
Broncos @ Steelers – \../ METAL \../
Cardinals @ Eagles – Stankonia (when Cards have the ball), Speakerboxx/Love Below (when the Eagles have the ball), Aquemini (Eagles special team plays), and Sun Ra (commercials).
Lions @ Saints – For the next-to-last MNF game, Slipknot, Pink Floyd, Social Distortion, the “Requiem for a Dream” soundtrack, and other uplifting fare.
Top photo via larrybrownsports.com and my cellphone.
I like this, except who you lumped Modest Mouse in with. Them’s fightin’ words.
Yeah, not the first time I’ve heard that. Maybe the incessant cramming by Pandora of Modest Mouse, The Strokes, and Arctic Monkeys into every. Single. Goddamn. Station. Turned me against them.
I don’t listen to music. #nbd
I always mean to pick up Sandanista off of iTunes, but I only have the one iPod.
Sandinista! is terrible. I listened to it 5+ times trying to get into it. Now I even hate “Police on My Back”.
The way this season is going just put this one on
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JxoUmh2FCX4
That Vlad Horowitz is a good piano guy.
She seems nice too:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tV5U8kVYS88
Going to see Squeeze on Friday night in NYC.
Here’s a deep cut:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOUAwx7Cmdw
Tremendous. Saw them about 20 years ago…what an underrated band.
Never had heard of them. I liked it.
And there’s more:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtCKtHoGHRU
I became a Cubs fan back in the late 70’s and early 80’s living in Moline Illinois watching the games on WGN with the sound off, Jack Brickhouse was the announcer so no great loss, and listening to music.
It’s a great way to absorb the game without anyone else’s spin put to it.
Nice job, Stagger Lee. Beautiful work.
Jandek and Sun Ra references?
I’m in the right place.
I too have made the switch to watching games without the sound and it is wonderful. I had not thought about adding music, but I will now give it a shot. Seems a much better way to spend the time!
Replays show everything anyway. And the decision process in a review–well, even I find it tedious. I’d rather listen to Soda Stereo than Mike Pereira, and Pereira is one of the best out there IMHO.