CLEAR THE TAKE PATH WE GOT ONE COMIN’ IN HAWT

Pictured: Aggrieved White Man 78478312Oh, aggrieved white man.When will you ever see justice again in this life? When will you ever see things start to go your way again? What kind of world are we leaving for your children?When the burden just becomes so great, so massive, that you must STAND TO SOUND YOUR BARBARIC YAWP BECAUSE YOU CAN DO NO OTHER…what then?WHAT IS THE IRRESISTIBLE FORCE THAT MUST BE RESISTED BRIAN ANDERSON GO“Earlier this week Jesse Jackson told us that Star Wars: The Force Awakens broke box office records because there was a black guy in the film and now we learn that the Carolina Panthers are going to the Super Bowl due to how incredibly black the team is. Wow, I’m blown away. Is there nothing that the power of blackness can’t achieve?”A quick check of the link to his other racist rant about #OscarsWhoCares reveals that Jackson said that he thought that it was smart for a film directed at a global audience to star a black man and a white woman. This led to 600 words on BLACK PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS IN FILM HNGH PLUTO NASH FLORG without a single word about women. So at least we know on which side of the racist/sexist divide Mr. Anderson falls. Also, “the power of blackness” is now a thing? Got it. Please continue:“Try to imagine the outrage if someone wrote a story about how team was successful because they had a lot of white guys and embraced their whiteness. It would easily be considered the most racist thing anyone ever published. Thankfully the rules of racism don’t apply equally to all races, which is why The Huffington Post can give us:The Panthers Are The Most Unapologetically Black Team In NFL History adding, ‘And it’s awesome.’”The most racist thing anyone ever published? Golly, Beav! Even MOAR RACISTER than the bible? THAT’S PRETTY FUCKING RACIST.But, just like the Bud Light Universe, the rules don’t apply at HuffPo. Take her away, Malcolm Luther X. ObamaKing, Esq. Jr. I MEAN Erick Fernandez!

The culture of football is such that a league made up of mostly black men is supposed to comply with certain standards created and enforced by mostly white men. Ideally, the players would act subdued in public, celebrate their achievements quietly and speak in a manner that avoids the spotlight.

Seems like a reasonable statement about differences in the way different cultures approach the celebration of accomplishment and how the NFL can be seen a microcosm of society as a whole. What…

“Despite the fact that these mostly black men are paid millions of dollars to play a game, it’s somehow just like slavery because they are expected to follow the white man’s rules.”/needle scratchWait, what the fuck did I just miss?//puts needle back“Despite the fact that these mostly black men are paid millions of dollars to play a game, it’s somehow just like slavery because they are expected to follow the white man’s rules.”But nobody ever mentioned slavery, what…“Don’t worry; the author assures us that the Panthers rose to the top by rejecting the class, dignity, and sportsmanship those white devils tried to impose on them:

The Carolina Panthers haven’t done any of that this season. On the way to a 15-1 regular season record and the team’s first Super Bowl appearance since 2004, the team has had fun and has been fun to watch.

They have talked loudly, danced loudly and celebrated loudly. But they’ve done something significant along the way, too: The Panthers have embraced, demonstrated and exuded aspects of their blackness in a way that few predominately black teams have done in the past.They have been wonderfully, unapologetically, proudly black.”

White devils? What? Who said anything about…

“Basically the author just said that the essence of being black is acting like an obnoxious asshole. That the thing that makes a black man black is his over-the-top taunting and flaunting. Again, try to imagine if a white person had written this.”First of all, let’s get something clear. Fernandez is an idiot. “Blackness” isn’t a thing any more than “whiteness” or “fish bicycle.” There are plenty of white players that celebrate a lot and plenty of black players who just hand the ball to the ref. To assign the Carolina Panthers “blackness” based on the exuberance of their celebrations is almost as stupid as Mr. Anderson’s riposte BECASUE YOU NOW WHO ESLE HAD EXUBRINT SELE…CELB…PARTYSStupid, but nothing so stupid as that White Devil Slavery strawman!It goes on like that for a while, a racist arguing against a moron who doesn’t know he’s having an argument, until we end up here, as you certainly knew we would:“What I see going on here is part of the liberal media’s effort to turn the Super Bowl into a race war. It’s black Cam Newton and the black Carolina Panthers versus frumpy old white guy Peyton Manning and the Broncos from white redneck Denver, Colorado. They are trying to turn this into a Black Lives Matter protest, pitting the oppressed minorities against the white establishment. They should just go ahead and change the name of the game to the Sharpton Bowl.”Race War.Black Lives Matter.The Sharpton Bowl.Hoo boy.But wait, I thought Jesse Jackson was black people! You mean there are TWO black people? HOW AM I GOING TO TELL WHICH BLACK PERSON IS BLACK PEOPLE CURSE YOU BRIAN ANDERSON

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