Your “Thus Begins Another Shift in the Factory Of Sadness” Thursday Open Thread

Not much on the NFL front today, as emphasized by:

  • “Aaron Rodgers: Tom Brady inspiring my eating habits”
    • I’m sure Olivia Munn thanks him too
  • Mike Florio taking professional shots at Stephen A. Smith
    • If only they could be locked in a windowless room.
  • Brock Osweiler is skipping the Bronco’s Monday visit to the White House. If JJ Watt can never go, then why should anyone else? I’m surprised he didn’t force the kid to return the ring and win one “the right way”. From robot to MODOK; Brock’s got no chance.
  • Akiem Nicks – last of the Saints; now of the Bears – backs the Wolfman’s claims he’d been kneecapped by Sean Payton the last two years.
    • too bad they don’t play this year
      • BTW, looking at the Bills schedule, there’s a real chance they go 2-14 this year; their non-division opponents are the NFC West & AFC North, plus Jax & the Raiders. MAYBE they beat the Browns & Jags, but I don’t see much else here.
Pedobear’s older brother. He went to college.

The big football story of the day is Baylor bleeding recruits in the wake of Art Briles being let go. Seven recruits have asked to be released from their Letters of Intent since last Thursday.

  • If they withdrew before the May 31 start of classes, they would be able to go to another school immediately; after that date, Baylor has 30 days to either hold or release them from that commitment.
    • one of those 7 – Devin Duvernay – may be eligible immediately, because Baylor never got around to filing his Letter of Intent with the national database. According to reports, Baylor forgot to submit his letter, but did submit his twin brother Donovan’s, meaning that Devin can go anywhere, but Donovan has to wait 14 days before he can be approached. They seem to be a package deal, so possible schools will require two available scholarships.
    • If Baylor jerks them, they lose a year of eligibility when they transfer. No word on whether any active roster students have requested transfers yet, but that has to be coming, especially among the sophomores.
  • Rumours are already about that Texas is swirling the lagoon looking to pick off what it can. Locals are fearing a return to Baylor being a traditional weak sister in its conference.

Random news & notes:

  • So, they’ve officially declared Prince’s death an “opioid overdose”, specifically fentanyl. Goddammit.
  • The murder-suicide at UCLA only came about after the gunman killed a woman in Minnesota and then drove to LA, looking to kill the profs who “stole” his intellectual property. I wonder if he wore astronaut diapers?
  • Germany declared the 1915 Armenian massacre a “genocide”, to the anger of Turkey. Well, if anyone ‘s an expert on genocide…
  • The PGA has moved the 2017 World Golf Championships from Trump’s Doral course in Florida to a course outside Mexico City, citing a lack of willing US sponsors. Trump’s reaction was expected: “I hope they have kidnapping insurance”.

Tonight’s Game 1 Playoff Action: Cleveland @ Golden State – 9:00 (ABC)

Well, the juggernaut has landed in Oakland. I read a lot of basketball sites today, so I feel fairly confident in this statement, which will be presented by Jay Cutler:

About 75% of the “experts” have picked Golden State to win, and the average number of games it’ll take is 6. The only site I’ll believe – Nate Silver’s fivethirtyeight.com – gives the Warriors a 69% (hee hee) chance to repeat. What most likely matters to followers of a football site is, “How will this affect the Browns?” Because, if the Cavs fail, and the Indians Indian, then the prospects for people dumping more false belief onto the Browns becomes a real & apparent fact.

The Circle of Life in a Factory of Sadness.

Looking at their schedule, I’m going to say the best-case Browns scenario is 6-10, which means – if he stays with the Cavs next year – even more pressure falls on LeBron to win it all next year. (That – “Next Year” – should really be on the Cleveland city flag, because “Progress & Prosperity” seems like a goddamned lie at this point.) That might just break him.

LIFE GOES ON!

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Subscribe
Notify of
374 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
rockingdog

what the.
lets watch some space ghost coast to coast highlights: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqA-DGLVdq8

Oh, Mariners lead now…Cool.

Senor Weaselo

Isn’t the record for biggest comeback 8 or 9 runs?
*googles*
Oh, lucky for you, it’s 12 runs.

rockingdog

hahaha this is soooo sad.
I fondly recall a time as a kid when i had a newspaper clipping of ken caminiti on the wall of my room. it was all good.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I have never underrated her, but she can ruin a keyboard.

rockingdog

blob:https%3A//vine.co/5d040f43-6637-42cd-b3c0-95c5306263b7
https://vine.co/v/iYbPDQjM5D1

Senor Weaselo

KERR SMASH!

MikeWallaceAndGromit

168 profile views on that tweet, and @doorfliesopen linked in my profile.
#BRANDING

Senor Weaselo

As long as they’re cool, of course.

JerBear50
BrettFavresColonoscopy

SHOW ME MY $12!

WCS

Darren Rovell is frantically trying to reach you now.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Scarlett obviously forgot to pick up peanut butter on the way to the shoot.
(wow….that’s terrible even for me)
/sorry not sorry

BrettFavresColonoscopy

As always, fuck Lebron

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“YEAH!”

-Greg Hardy

JerBear50

Or his mom. Whichever your preference.
http://theclassical.org/sites/default/files/delonte315.jpg

rockingdog

comment image

rockingdog

game 1 win.
good job Sean Livingston and the rest of the warriors bench.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

You know what that means? Time to buy a gorilla.

JustStopDude

Dwayne Wade…cool like the 24 lbs of ice wrapped strategically around his old ass after a regular season game…

Senor Weaselo

I thought it was around his legs and specifically his knees.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I find it very smart from a product marketing standpoint, to use a player NOT in the Finals, DURING the Finals.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I just had to explain to my gf who George Gervin was

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Ladies and Gents, your Eastern Conference Champs!

comment image

Senor Weaselo

Splash Brothers in response to the Cavs thinking they could make a late run
comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

/can’t stop looking at those chompers
//might need therapy more than originally thought

Redshirt

comment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Why is Curry’s bum ankle even in the game right meow?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I first read that as “bum uncle” and was like, “Curry is related to Jim Tomsula?”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Fronkenshteen

The daughter looks like the spawn of an Irish klansman and an icing bag.

/I think there’s a Zappa song about that

theeWeeBabySeamus

That was fucking funny.

JustStopDude

Japan just upset the US women late, to tie it 3-3. It was pretty impressive as Japan was down a player for most of the game. Japan shocked the US with a 2-0, and the US came back with the lead around the 90th minute.

rockingdog

I wonder what Donald Trump thinks about this?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
rockingdog

Warriors gonna win game 1?
comment image

Redshirt

Dear Legend of Tarzan Trailer,

Too Soon.

Love,
Cincinnati

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

I think I love Curry’s “no look” assists more than his “fuck you i’m getting a three” shot.

rockingdog

comment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy

WHO LET MY PROCTOLOGIST IN HERE?

Fronkenshteen

?..mooooon river…?
comment image?w=300

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Also why is he wearing the dildo harness from Se7en?

Redshirt

BREAKING NEWS

Factory of Sadness running at 105% efficiency.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I thought he was more the beat up than upbeat type

Shogun Marcus

Apologies to Lemmy.
Ohio sprots: Born to shrug, live to meh.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I smell an Amy-off.
(had to be very careful typing that)

Senor Weaselo

Will we include ladies who played characters named Amy?
http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02026/gill_2026281a.jpg

theeWeeBabySeamus

You say that like anyone would follow the rules even if there were any.

MikeWallaceAndGromit

Katie Nolan just retweeted my Warriors bench joke and it currently has 69 favs.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

MWAG is in love with Katie…

/seriously though which joke?

rockingdog

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

How much for the slightly overweight adult model?
/asking for a friend

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

And then the Padres put in Brad Hand to pitch, and now it’s 12-7…

/Law of averages or something

Fronkenshteen

Overheard at post-game buffet table:
“Don’t worry, Hand. Since you were out there AND we were out there, doesn’t that make it OUR loss? And certainly there’s nothing wrong with a little feast after our loss.”
comment image

rockingdog

The warriors are Lit right now.
hahaha Cleveland.
the warriors have 6 players in double digits in points and thompson and curry and not two of those players….

theeWeeBabySeamus

The warriors are Lit right now.
/glad to be not the only one

Senor Weaselo

But is it turnt?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Tronc?

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Soooooo Cleveland’s dead right?
http://i.makeagif.com/media/4-13-2015/hzdxbV.gif

rockingdog

game aint over yet….

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I want to see what percentage of shots the Cavaliers have missed from inside of five feet. It seems like it would be very bad.

WCS

WVU-esque!

Senor Weaselo

Wait, when did it magically become a double-digit game?

Redshirt

That’s what I want to know. At one point it was a 2 point game. I switched the channel and come back to a blowout.

Senor Weaselo

I went to watch the end of Roots (which I will interpret as Lawrence Fishburne as Alex Haley’s dying visions) and all of a sudden the lead was 12.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
blaxabbath

That the teacher who banged that kid?????

That kid is a STUD.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Um, no.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Of course, photo caught my eye, then I looked up and read the Moose Captioning and started laughing my ass off.

/hadn’t even noticed the cooler

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Wouldn’t even say anything if’in’ there wasn’t beer in there. Soda is bad for them little kids anyway.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

So, I finished the night out with an Ommegang Hennepin and a New Belgium Heavy Melon. I have retired to the comfort of my home and am having the last Sweetwater 420 in the house.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Is Sweetwater 420 a beer or a bong?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

comment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Brocky

Every single MLB game that I’ve heard the score of today has had a differential of at least 5 runs.

Fascinating

blaxabbath

Dbacks won 3-0.

Because Houston must suck.

Redshirt

So I was watching SportsCenter and I saw the play. I don’t follow basketball, is Illegal Ball Fondling a Flagrant 1 or a Flagrant 2?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Two.
Definitely two.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“SMH.”

-Lance Armstrong

blaxabbath

ESPN homepage has a clip of Kerr smashing the clipboard.

I hope that happens this NFL season so we can hear the Microsoft Surface Pro Tablet again referred to by the CBS regional team as an iPad.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Redshirt

My reaction when a Republican endorses Trump.

http://i.imgur.com/mh96F4u.gif

Redshirt

Well, with all of this talk about baseball I may as well… Reds are WINNING 11-4?! Did Colorado spot them some runs? Did they hit a bonus circle like NBA Jam? What is this?!

I wouldn’t past them to lose this but, damn, way to not suck dRedlegs!

JerBear50

Redlegs are winning? Someone’s not going to be happy about this.
http://www.imfdb.org/images/thumb/3/30/TOJWColtWalker-8.jpg/600px-TOJWColtWalker-8.jpg

rockingdog

hahahaha Delly hit andre iguodala in the penis…..
and the refs are reviewing it.
Ill try to find the gif……

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

C’mon, man, “inadvertently” whacking people in the junk is Draymon Green’s thing.

Senor Weaselo

Yankees… win? Surely those two words don’t fit together, do they? That 5 in the run spot has to be a typo or missing a negative or something.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wow, Delladova is just terrible.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Sooner or later, he’s gonna get lynched.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Good glavin Padres!

It’s 12-2!

/Is amazed when they score A run

WCS

comment image

rockingdog

oh shit wait they scored 7 runs in the 5th inning? am i reading that right?

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

You sure is!

I saw it happen and still think it’s a mistake.

blaxabbath

I almost feel for LeBron (not that anyone with that much money needs my sympathies) in that, had the Cavs not drafted him, his entire legacy would not necessarily have been tied to his hometown. I mean, had he done amazing things (winning rings left and right and playing his entire career in CLE), it would be one of the greatest modern stories that might have provided the feel-good that may have put him over Jordan on some pundits’* all-time lists.

I mean, who else is supposed to actually care about the city he plays for? Peyton went to DEN because they’re winners. Brees is a great NO resident but that’s a two-way relationship. Eli doesn’t give a fuck about NYC (insert Eli is a kid joke). Jordan just played for the Bulls. Magic just played for the Lakers. Bird never played for the Pacers. Hell, people talk about how the Wizards have no chance at Durant on account of how he DOESN’T want to go home and play. But LeBron, it’s like, “Well, if he wins CLE a title, then he can opt out and play elsewhere. Else, I think he needs to come back and try again.” Who else has such demands? We’re used to teams winning championships then the roster getting piecemealed off in FA to the highest bidders (JAX/OAK/WAS).

Obviously it’s all his own decision but, shit, if he’d just been drafted somewhere else in the first place, all this bullshit about LeBron owing CLE (and I get that some of it has to do with The Decision but, seriously, get over it – CLE didn’t give him support) would be a nonissue.

* Who gives a fuck what Stephen A. thinks?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Counterpoint: Fuck that guy

Unsurprised

I need to go back to studying (I should’ve an hour ago), but I still feel …

http://115.imagebam.com/download/hxsUXHdskOb6LMfaDDmkNg/48681/486806998/1219951.gif

theeWeeBabySeamus

Another dance party??? I missed the last one…
OH PLEASE LET’S HAVE ANOTHER DANCE PARTY!!!!!!

blaxabbath

Don’t let your professors steal your intellectual property!

Call Hippo to get that shit protected! KL5-DidYouGetThatThingISentYou

Redshirt

I know its Cleveland, but that was definitely on Golden State.

Redshirt

Oh, Cleveland.

Unsurprised

The alternate title to “An Ode to Sadness”

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah, the nightly flip winning post is way more fun when it’s bouncing boobs.
/no offense Redshirt
//you have no offense, Cleveland