Your “Hold Off On Drinking, It’s ‘Annie!’ Day” Wednesday Open Thread

Because when it’s preseason,

there’s football tomorrow!


NFL Headlines:Homer - that bean I ate

  • Bruce Arians has been released from hospital. Must’ve been that bean he ate.
  • Steve Smith passed his physical. Looking forward to his demands people ice up.
  • Tomy Romo is expected to play Friday versus the Dolphins.
    • He has to, or they won’t let him at the post-game buffet, and you know how much he loves eclairs!
  • John Elway is “not fretting” about the Broncos QB situation.
    • Well, why should he? He won last year with a combination of Y.A. Tittle and Dan McGwire.
  • Tennessee has faith in Andre Johnson returning to form, because why else would they trade 2015 second-round receiver Dorial Green-Beckham to the Eagles?
    • Mind you, the Titans have a better quarterback (at present) so for this year maybe it’s not so dumb.
  • Adding another floor of sadness to the Factory is news that RGIII has filed for divorce.
    • Nice to see the Browns putting their preseason to good use developing his eventual excuses.


Finally, on a serious note, si.com has a worth-your-time story about Erick’s Kramer & Hipple and their separate but similar suicide attempts.

Like the previously told story about Eric Kramer in the Detroit Free Press, Duchess’ soapbox, and of course Ape’s seminal piece back at the old place, it references symptoms like depression and CTE and tells tales about guys who had reached the end of their ropes.

All of these stories will make you reflect in some way, and are a constant reminder that any disease or injury of the mind is a serious thing that needs to be treated professionally.


Tonight’s sports:

  • MLB: Red Sox @ Orioles – 7:00 (ESPN)
  • Olympics:
    • NBC – 8:00 – Track & Field; Women’s beach volleyball gold medal match
    • NBCSN – 9:00 – Men’s basketball – Serbia vs Croatia; bronze medal beach volleyball
      • Note: if you can, rewatch the “Once Brothers” 30 for 30 on Vlade Divac (Serbia) and Dražen Petrović (Croatia) prior to the game

Scotchy’s got you tomorrow and Friday for Week 2 of preseason Open Thread action. In the meantime, and in between time, enjoy your evening, and remember – it’s not a dream.

DON’T LEAVE THE HOUSE NAKED!

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Subscribe
Notify of
340 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
theeWeeBabySeamus

Wow, it’s after 2am here. I really need to masturb….errrr, sleep…yeah.
One last one…decisions, decisions.
This one always has a Beatles feel to me.
Nite gents.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKfD8d3XJok

laserguru
laserguru

It’s only just past 11:00 here.

Grow a pair ya pansie!

theeWeeBabySeamus

LMAO. I’ve got a pair, but sadly that’s the problem.
Don’t ask.

laserguru
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I was just closing a tab from earlier. I felt this should be posted instead of just being ignored and fading into the darkness

comment image?w=650

Brocky

alright, brocky is tapping out, he can take no more, alas, my final hat related post of the night:

http://i.amz.mshcdn.com/9iFEZPvAtiWdj94Cf4djyDdQoHA=/fit-in/850×590/2013%2F10%2F28%2F60%2Fcommunitysq.01ccf.gif

sorry, I had to britta the thread

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
laserguru

Probably my favorite version ….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2lDcvtGl2I

theeWeeBabySeamus

That was my next up actually…but the studio version.
Which is why I should never be trusted with teh play button.

laserguru

Don’t make me get all fucked up and call in sick tomorrow…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRXXgUtAyPo

theeWeeBabySeamus

Why stop now?
😉

theeWeeBabySeamus

Besides, get yo ass back in that kitchen and make me a sammich.
Oh sorry, thought you were someone else.

laserguru

Nah you thought right.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I rearranged my room to have my monitor be my 40-something inch TV and my Netflix running on my older TV across the room. I just had to exchange my sound cord running across the door to a different cord running across the door. I am liking this change

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah right doesn’t know it yet…but he just fucked it up for all of you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1OjTspCqvk8

laserguru

Oh I know already.

WOOOOOO!!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9HOVEcTDUjg

laserguru

Congrats NBC.

You’ve officially killed my Olympic boner.

I hope it was worth it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K8CJbQtCziI

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I was scrolling through the comments I missed during my 2 hour nap just now. Saw an Arctic Monkeys song that was’t Brainstorm. Here is Brainstorm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30w8DyEJ__0

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah…I was just riffing, so to speak at that point.
/feels judged

theeWeeBabySeamus

Condition downgraded…
comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

Just for MTWV, you sexy motherfucker, you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3iwOwJDahPY

Brocky

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

/finally notices the hat
//but only bcuz wants to spank her with it
//did i say that out loud?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

comment image

Unsurprised

comment image

Brocky

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yes, I know I just posted this one a couple days ago.
Fuck you, I’m just so excited about my new kit.
And yes, I’m already more than prepared to murderize everyone employed by UPS when it arrives damaged.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_JUd3gsNYDE

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I give you permission to post this song whenever you want

Horatio Cornblower

Hey kids, it’s 1:12 EST and Horatio’s hammered to the point he shouldn’t be operating heavy machinery.

Actually, Horatio shouldn’t operate heavy machinery under any circumstances because he has the dexterity, (and ambition), of a morbidly obese tree sloth that’s been imbibing fermented mangoes for days, but that’s another story.

Let’s set the scene, shall we?

4:15 Horatio’s house. Horatio, an overworked and underpaid* attorney, is busily writing letter telling clients as politely as possible that they are unbelievable assholes and will soon be splitting rocks and/or driving railroad spikes while chained to Negroes** if they don’t start returning phone calls or showing up for court.

*or vice versa
**I saw this once in a movie so it’s not racist***
***Hoo boy is that racisit!

4:16 Friend calls Horatio “Hey, let’s go golfing! $25 for a cart and 9 holes! All your friends are going, including the one who has to go back to Germany at the end of the week. Then we’ll have dinner and a couple of beers and you’ll be home by 8!”*

*This is a vicious lie

8:00 pm Horatio is at the bar, eating a bacon cheeseburger and enjoying witty* conversation with friends and family.
*sub-moronic conversation with friends, family having long since given up.

8:01 Bar DJ: “HEY IT’S TRIVIA NIGHT!!!!!”
Horatio’s family leaves immediately. Horatio grabs pencil and paper, begins taunting bar patrons.

10:30 Horatio and his team* are in second place, one point down to a table of ten, count ’em ten, kids who can’t be more than 23, and another team of three, one of whom used to coach Horatio’s kid but quit because he got his PhD in fucking calculus.
*2 drunks from the golf course

10:31 Bar DJ: “The final category is ‘Movies of the 90’s, and you can bet up to 20 points!”
Horatio immediately bets 48 points, argues with the DJ, reduces bets to 20 points after a SWAT team is called in to end the argument

10:32(the SWAT team was very efficient) Bar DJ: “in this movie ‘The Annexat…”
(Horatio writes down ‘Little Giants’, walks up to DJ and hands in answer while making throat-slitting gesture at other teams)
“…ion of Puerto Rico was the secret play that led the hero’s team to victory.”

10:35 After some higher math that the guy with the PhD could have done in half the time Horatio’s team, The Captain’s Daughter in the Treehouse, (named after the beer we’d been hitting like it stole something), is declared the winner. Horatio’s large teammate runs around the bar offering to show the other teams the $25 gift certificate we’ve won. Discussions are held about having further discussions in the parking lot. Horatio spreads the shots he’s won amongst the other teams, feelings are soothed, peace prevails.

ON AN YOU KNOW HORATIO GON’ BE BACK NEX’ WEDNESDAY TO DEFEND!

10:31

theeWeeBabySeamus

Wow that’s long.
/refills vodka cup
//settles in to read
///see you in October

laserguru

I’m going to write a song about this night.