Det/Sea– Let’s be honest. We’re all pretend friends here, right? Does this not look like a Seahawks win etched in stone? Detroit has lost three in a row. They’re one and done the last eight times they’ve donned cleats for an extra game. Qb Stafford is 1-23 (1 and 23!!!) on the road vs. teams over .500. WOOF! The Lions D is dead last in the rankings despite having the finest living room accessory/head coach in the league. I’d like to see Andy Reid emulate a throw pillow! Grit Monster Zach Zenner is going to give it his best but throwing pearls before swine don’t win football games.
GIVE IT YOUR BEST SENTIENT HUMANS!
A dump pass to Mulligan on 4th and 1? I bet the Lions would like to take that play over.
Regular Jim would also like Jim Bob’s spleen roasted on a shishkabob, if the sideline shots are any indication.
Goddamn it Lions.
Team motto for over a century
It’s nice that Nationwide has their commercials open with their jingle, giving me just enough time to scramble to find the remote and change the channel.
GET OUTTA MY HEAD!!!!
Jim Caldwell’s thinky face. Long FG in the cold, or white RB off-tackle??
wtf was that, t-mobile
In my mind Zack Zenner gains over 100 pounds in the off-season, takes over at center and is so transcendent at the new position that it is subsequently renamed after him.
No, you really don’t want a peek inside my mind.
does he also became extremely skilled in the cuisine of various south-eastern asian countries?
I got to know man!
It sounds uncannily like mine, but less lazy and lair-oriented
Go for it!
Yay offense!
Someone might want to share this on Sill’s twitter. http://i.imgur.com/d0kNURK.jpg
We’re down to “eating whipped cream out of the container” level of football snacks.
Oooohh….that reminds me. I’ve got Cool Whip in the freezer.
Thanks man!!!!
Shit! Me too!!
I’m calling for an air extraction. Hang tight.
GRITTY BLITZ PICKUP
Wrapped around your finger by the police. Very clever by NBC
http://www.oystermag.com/sites/default/files/chain.gif
LIONS OF DESTINY
I like intermingling the DESTINY with Heathers, a piece of cinematic gloriousness severely underappreciated by our society.
One of my favorite movies as a tween.
oh, I taped it off HBO and watched with little brother and sister, to parental consternation. BUHLEE DAT!!
so watching the game on mute, makes the x-ray segment that much more interesting.
now in this exact joint is where the worst of his premature arthritis will manifest…
You guys know Stafford has a hand injury?
You know Ronnie Lott is furiously watching over whiskey, fuming “you mean that little bitch could just cut the tip off and be fine??”
“The important thing for Stafford is that even when wearing the splint, he can still operate a vehicle in Detroit. If it was his ring or index finger, the splint just would not be an option”
Ok, I’ll give the NBC music coordinator a nod for that use of “Wrapped Around Your Finger”
Love when they get smartass / dickish with the music.
Yep, NBC always does stuff like that
I’ve seen a lot of Chevy ads, has there been a football game?
Its worse than watching the Manchester Chevys play.
I’ve always wanted to slap someone with a fish. It’s a lifelong dream of mine.
God. Let them hit Wilson.
Why all the hate, bro?
http://www.postbourgie.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/wilson-gif.gif
From your lips to the O-line’s ears.
http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/MTE5NVgxNjAw/z/M9IAAMXQydtTLeEf/$_57.JPG?set_id=880000500F
So I got this at a goodwill in the middle of Indiana.
most forgettable super bowl champions ever?
not this exact one, btw, one that’s just like it. i’m far too lazy to take a picture, and definitely too lazy to put it on ebay.
“There was a Super Bowl before 48?”
-Seattle fans
something something steelers refs…
That cup doesn’t say “Liberal Tears”. Get with the times!
Every time Rusell Wilson introduces himself during the NFL rollcolls I expect him to say
“Rusell Wilson, Microsoft Surface Pro 3”
Just once, would it kill him to say “NO MOAR white bitches for me!”
“Hey Jimmy, I know I got you killed with a shitty throw but try some Nanowater™”
With Seattle’s front line, Russ needs to hoard his precious nanobubbles.
And “Best Performance of a TE in Movie, Film, or Blown Play”….
Even Goodell knew which was the better game to watch today.
This is the most high budget school play I’ve ever seen. No way that school was in Texas.
Is this where the cool kids are hanging out?
Oh….it’s still just you guys.
/sigh
http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/sdey.gif
http://i.huffpost.com/gen/771495/images/o-HEATHERS-QUOTES-facebook.jpg
http://wisequacks.org/wp2/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/lions-mating-e1382402191367.jpg
oh that’s good. I bet Dok been drankin!!
Brocky thinking to himself
well at lest with the lions there aren’t too many stupid story lines that idiot sportswriters can make up….
remembers that the lions have a white running back with an alliterative name
oh god damn it…
the only upside of a SeaTruther win would be the collective sphincter tightening of the entire DFW metroplex.
Go FUCK LIONS
“Insert Skip Bayless hot taek about Richard Sherman being a Ni-Thug here”
When I see commercials for “Stephen A. vs White Guy” I think of how tough those two editorialists with their studio jobs talking trash about pro athletes would be considered in 1944.
http://awfulannouncing.com/2017/skip-bayless-i-have-consistently-been-correct-on-all-these-outrageous-takes.html
Why?
If Ryan Fitzpatrick scored a TD and thought about it too much, would he be flagged for excessive cerebration?
Rumors of Fitzmagic’s high IQ are greatly exacerbated.
Only if Hines Ward was the ref
If Zach Zenner scored a TD, and did a Zorro celebration, would he be called for excessive celebration?
?
excezzive celebration
Not if you’re scrappy.
Grit grit grit grit!!
The Spanish announcers just said Roger Goodell’s name for some reason. I’m going to pretend they called him a cunt.
They probably did
this is a fine channeling of the Lesser Footy Saturday spirit. Huzzah!!
Quality Young Cusack movie. Great Tim Robbins cameo.
Not a Diggler’s Donuts promo. There’s not enough frosting.
Don’t you pay JD Power to say you’re the best at whatever you want?
You’re the best, Spur!
That’ll be $50, please.
(Shut upppp ……..)
I want Detroit to win because they were my first team (then I became a REDACTEDS fan because I am dumb). And because fuck all the Seahawks fans I know.
Aw, and here you were gonna have a surprise appearance on HRTN next week!
Yeah, right
No, no…he’s in it already…
PUNTS FOR THE PUNT GODS!
Also, why do they have them say their school when they introduce themselves? And why don’t more of them take the opportunity to say something fun?
Because the Gingerhammer would not permit it. This is the No Fun League, after all.
they could say they sign and they momma’s name, for instance
Because not everyone is as awesome as Atari Bigbi.
Is that where he went? You guys take all our secondary.
Gffgg acted he’s at he
Look at those FUCK LIONS defend!!
I SEE YOUR HAWKS AND RAISE YOU A NOTHING CAUSE THAT”S A FUCKING STRING BET HOLLYWOOD