Fun with Nick Hardwick: A Liar’s Guide for Moving to LA 3 – Carson Drift

Last week, former San Diego Chargers radio color commentator and long time center, Nick Hardwick, announced that he would be doing a complete and total about-face on his decision to call games for the second NFL team in Los Angeles. This is rather surprising, considering the fact that Hardwick had become seemingly the only remaining outspoken voice against the Spanos clan after originally turning the position down months earlier. Hardwick has since made several statements regarding this decision, all of which I found further insulting and unsatisfactory. This is my response:

The Chargers are my family, and I’m excited to continue being a part of this franchise.

Really, Nick? The same ‘family’ that you had this to say about, regarding how they pimped you out to support the failed Prop C?

“I felt like a used item. For one, I would go out there and talk on their behalf and pump up the ballot measure and how it was such a good thing for San Diego; but, on the back end of that, there was never any information given to me about where we are along the way. I was almost their guise, almost their cover on the way out of town. I’m embarrassed almost that I was part of it.”

There’s only one ‘family’ that the Chargers will ever care about, and you ain’t a part of it.

I love this team. I love watching football, and I love being a conduit to transmit what I am seeing on the field through the radio… I love being able to open my eyes on the spot and let what I see come naturally through my mouth.

You are going to get honesty, passion and energy every single game… I’m fueled by passion, and after the team made the decision to relocate, my emotions got the better of me. I was confused, and didn’t know how to react. I lashed out and struggled to understand what it was I was feeling.

No, when the team moved, you were being honest. You channeled much of the frustration and anger that fans like myself were (and still are) feeling…

But after several months, it became clear that the Chargers are a part of who I am.

…Then when you realized that you were hosting a morning NFL radio show in a city that doesn’t have an NFL franchise anymore, the reality set in that you were going to need a new job.

I feel like I am coming home back to the organization I’ve fought so hard for.

“It’s exactly like home! Except my actual home isn’t there, and I’ll have to drive 2 hours each way on a good day in order to get there!”

I have a passion for the Chargers, and I enjoy sharing that with the fans.

“Who are you again?” – Everyone outside of San Diego

I tried to give up the NFL, I tried to go agnostic. I tried to not care about any NFL football team and then just cover it in a broad sense.

It’s been working pretty well for me the last 5 months. I didn’t watch the draft, the vast majority of NFL news I get now is from this site and now I’m free to make fun of every single dumbfuck thing that happens in the League without worrying how it will affect anything I care about!

After I went to the Super Bowl, and after being around football people, I realized, ‘Nah, these are my people, these are my folks.”

“Wow! You bunch of oblivious, self-gratifying, blowhard millionaire media-types are just my kinda folks! Did I mention that the coffee really sucked there? DO SOMETHING, HOUSTON!”

I am authentic. I do give you unedited passion and energy. I say what I think at the time, and I think that’s what made me good at football.

NFL Scout: Well, we could draft the guy with a near perfect build, no injury history and impeccable character references… But he kinda keeps to himself and doesn’t say a lot, so let’s take the guy we don’t know much about, but blurts out anything on his mind with no regard to the ramifications! Because that’s how you football!

I’m honest with myself and my feelings, and my feelings around the relocation situation changed.

I want to be a part of this team because I think there are some great things on the horizon for this franchise.

“Sure, Dean back-stabbed the entire city and fanbase, but the team might play really well the next year or two! Gotta get on the bandwagon while the gettin’s good!”

Being a San Diegan and being a Chargers fan aren’t mutually exclusive.

The fan attendance these last two years really seems to say otherwise.

There are plenty of people who love San Diego who follow their team, wherever they may be located.

Just ask the Clippers!

I’m aware this decision may upset some people. I completely understand the emotions around this situation. But, I must be true to myself… This is me and my family following our hearts and souls.

Nick, the reason people are “upset” is not just because you agreed to take the job. Seriously, your broadcasting is perfectly cromulent, at best. It’s because you went and said A LOT of stuff like this…

…and now you’re spewing the exact same tone-deaf bullshit that you so aptly mocked.

When LT so readily signed on to be the Special Assistant to the Owner I was “upset.” Still am. I don’t think I can ever forgive the greatest player in my former franchise’s history for it. With you, I just see someone so desperate for attention that he’s completely fine with being a boot-licking hypocrite.  And if that’s what “following your heart and soul” looks like, then you’re as shallow as any of the urinals at Qualcomm.

I think it’s all we can do in life.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers is a native North County San Diegan with an affinity for the Padres, beer, whiskey, punk rock, video games and the end of days. If you eat a fish taco with a fork in his presence, you may lose your hand.

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47 Comments on "Fun with Nick Hardwick: A Liar’s Guide for Moving to LA 3 – Carson Drift"

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I kind of want to shop Hardwick into the first photo, either instead of Spanos or up Spanos’s ass.

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Bloody Lethal
Bloody Lethal

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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To me the landing was perfect.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

She’s ready!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Old School Zero

This is like when you break up with someone by ghosting them and kind of feel bad but then you see them whoring for crack during the afternoon at the dive bar where you buttfucked them against the urinal that one time… and then you have no regrets.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Hey, call me OK?

SonOfSpam

Geez, have a little dignity and take the hint.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That urinal sex was GOOD, man; not everybody does a nice reach-around.

And like you aren’t meth whoring at the diner.

Old School Zero

(talking about breaking up with the Chargers, and the NFL in general, natch)

BrettFavresColonoscopy
ballsofsteelandfury

This. That’s quality hate.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
BrettFavresColonoscopy

“How do you know who Los Angelans are?”

Um, I think it’s Angelenos, Nick.

SonOfSpam

Angelestrians.

Bloody Lethal
Bloody Lethal

Country for the most part can get out of my face, but Jason Isbell does it right:

Bloody Lethal
Bloody Lethal

Also this:

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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SonOfSpam

Also love the “You’re dead to me” tag. Feel like that’s gonna get a lot of future use.

Bloody Lethal
Bloody Lethal

And stick around after the game for Talking Dead with Nick Hardwick.

ballsofsteelandfury

This works on so many levels, I’m shocked it doesn’t have more likes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
SonOfSpam

LOL @ SD to LA in two hours. Maybe in a helicopter with Santa Ana Winds at your back.

Bloody Lethal
Bloody Lethal

SonOfSpam

The fuckin’ Catalina Wine Mixer!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Don T

“This is me and my family following our hearts and souls. I think it’s all we can do in life.”

-It takes a very brave man to admit wanting the money.

-Daddy, my heart wants you to be rich.

-And my soul is nurtured by income generation within my wheelhouse.

-Oh my God, my husband is so sexy when he’s pliant and authentic.

Game Time Decision
Game Time Decision

love the use of the simpsons clip here,

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK LCSS, stop being nice and tell us what you really think.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://gifs.gifburger.com/467-araksya-karapetyan-on-jan-19-2015-upskirt-in-a-sexy-striped-dress.gif

At least in LA they will be able to get an uncomfortable boner on live TV.

ballsofsteelandfury

Araksya is a goddess.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He thinks so too…… plus there may be some sploosh in her black pants.

ballsofsteelandfury

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

*Nothing to do with post.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

That first quote about being used for Prop C hedges like a motherfucker.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

The point being that he was always leaving room to get paid because C.R.E.A.M.

Bloody Lethal
Bloody Lethal

*Opens Deadspin article about Randy Moss.*

*Reads comments*

“Everyone is a racist and Trump is going to kill us all”

*Closes Deadspin*

*Opens this article*

*Hangs out*

/end scene

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

“Everyone is a racist and Trump is going to kill us all”

/Walks in

blaxabbath

I always wondered if Nick Hardwick enjoyed watching wrinkled old fucks nail his wife while he watched from a chair in the corner, outfit in a gimp suit.

Now I know the answer is yes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! THAT IS BLATANTLY WRONG!

Sometimes he’s in the closet peaking out.

Bloody Lethal
Bloody Lethal
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