Your “One Month Until Camps Open” Monday Evening Open Thread

Most training camps open between July 25-27. As such, it’s nothing but “here’s how we’re gonna do this year” quotes coming out of most players & teams. Of note:

NFL Notes:

  • Cam Newton is throwing footballs again, having recovered from shoulder surgery.
    • And get this: he wants to win a Super Bowl before he retires. That’s crazy talk! Typical me-first attitude.
  • Nick Fairley has been placed on the non-football injurt list, ending his season.
    • The third opinion he was hoping would allow his career to continue also said “no”.
  • ESPN is all-in on the Derek Carr paycheque.
    • They’ve cursed him by comparing his deal to Rich Gannon’s.
    • They’re comparing how intervening deals have dropped Joe Flacco from first to fifth in QB salary.
      • PLAYER         TEAM         Avg. Per Year
        Derek Carr      Raiders         $25M
        Andrew Luck   Colts            $24.6M
        Drew Brees     Saints            $24.2M
        Kirk Cousins    [*Redacted] s       $23.9M
        Joe Flacco       Ravens          $22.1M
  • ‘Borrowing’ from Crimebeat! again:
    • Michael Floyd had a sentencing violation hearing for testing positive for alcohol while under house arrest for his DUI.
      • He tested at 0.055; he’s blaming Kombucha tea.
      • UPDATED: he was sentenced to one day in jail, and the remaining five days of house arrest.
    • Tyrunn Walker has been released by the Rams due to sexual assault allegations.
    • Former Packer Ahman Green has been arrested for suspected child abuse.
  • Aaron Rodgers beat Erin Andrews on the Michael Strahan hosted “$100,000 Pyramid” Sunday night, as football metaphors & dating innuendos abound.
    • The woman was a fucking half-wit coug thrilled to be on the TV.
      • It was clear her churching prevented her from getting the innuendos in the questions.
    • FYI – Rodgers has been linked to SI model & “Baywatch” movie “actress” Kelly Rohrbach since his breakup with Olivia Munn.
      • I’m going to say a move-up on looks, but a move down on experience, with a lateral move in terms of overall flexibility. Judge for yourself:

   

Guy knows how to beard, I’ll give him that.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NBA:
    • Annual awards – 9:00PM | TNT / TSN
  •  Beisbol:
    • MLB:
      • Twins at Red Sox – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
      • Rockies at Giants – 10:00PM | ESPN
    • College World Series:
      • Finals Game 1 in Omaha: LSU vs. Florida – 7:00PM | ESPN
  • WWE:
    • Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
  • International Rugby:
    • British/Irish Lions vs. Hurricanes – Tue 3:35AM | TSN2

UPDATE: Senor Weaselo has a buddy competing on American Ninja Warrior – 8:00, on NBC.

  • He’s the guy with the pink goatee.

What will tomorrow bring? THE MIND WONDERS!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Brick Meathook

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Unsurprised
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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Unsurprised

Oldest, fattest, dumbest President. Donald Trump is a deadbeat loser who is barely capable of others letting him on on their own half-assed scams. This stupid country not only deserves him, but earned him.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

How dare you, this man lived the American dream. Inherited a ton of money, lost it all, got loaned a ton of money, lost it all, got loaned more, lost it all, got loaned even more, lost it all, got loaned more, lost it all, got still more money, lost it all, got more money and was a dick on a reality show and became president. Isn’t that what everyone dreams about as a child?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Let’s not forget about the part where he got away with copious amounts of sexual assault.

Unsurprised

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bzzzzt

Unsurprised

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

Nice

Romonobyl

That rabbit is flipping me off!
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

I love this movie so much. I don’t know if I want to see 2049.

Unsurprised

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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laserguru

A love letter to San Bernardino.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGmruOmX3xI

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Dear San Bernardino,
Had a great time.
Get yourself checked.

XXOO,
Yeah Right

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

LOL. They seem to be swimming in grease/butter now. Either way,

GIT IN MA BELLAY!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Speaking of fucking BAKED; Pieter Brueghel the Elder

Don T
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Whoa. I might be baked.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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How can he tell? He’s not a bear.