This is round 2 for baking posts on a Saturday morning with what to make when you are about to get stoned, or are stoned, or want to get stoned. Or just like some damn good dessert!
Note – I have a medical card for a back injury so this is all legal on my end. Hell, the only way you can get it legally in my province is to your door by post as their are no dispensaries.
A little bit of a twist this week as my wife led me in to this one and then she sent me a recipe she thought I could do for this here site. Normally I would use cannabutter in a recipe as I prefer the effects more than smoking/vapoUrizing but as it was her idea I am making this one au naturel. I know what is coming so I am about to enjoy “Sun-grown Yorkshire” from Tweed farms, and it has a THC of 17.1% and no CBD. I am currently out of my CBD stuff but the order is in and it should be in the mail as we speak! I explained the difference a wee bit in post 1 but I forget whether I linked info or not. I chose this as the first step because the next one is fucking monotonous as hell but the results are far better for doing it the hard way.
I try the best that I can up here in Canadia to eat vegetables and fruit seasonally. I am not an organic hippie by any means, I think it is a rip off, but I try to eat as close to home as possible. In our city we have a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) that delivers vegetables and fruit from local farmers into the city, you just have to pick them up every week. It is a great way to have all this produce as you are forced to cook a bunch of different things. Except mushrooms, fuck mushrooms. It is cherry season! I love cherries…. and in Alberta we get most of our fruit from the Okanagan Valley in British Columbia. Also home to some great wineries that go unknown due to some messed up laws, there are enough lawyers on our DFO legal team to figure this out I reckon.
Note: I live in Alberta, hence the stupidness of the laws for getting wine from BC.
Alright DFOErs, today we are baking:
Cherry & Chocolate Cheesecake Pie/Gallette.
Pie part.
- 2 teaspoons sugar
Dough Part.
*********Now what I would normally do is put in half the amount of butter in the pastry dough as cannabutter. In fact I have never made weed pastry before, it seems like a good idea, but the dosage would have to be really low because pie is delicious so adjust accordingly. There is nothing worse than making edibles that are too strong because then you end up in a Youtube hole watching this.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FFRoYhTJQQ]
As I said it is Cherry season, so I am going to pit about 30 cherries by hand, after I take my medicine.
That truly was monotonus and mind numbing but I have a nice buzz so I have that going for me.
We’re going to make the pastry dough 1st. Mrs. Cola has the fancy YeahRight mixer so I am using that and it is definitely worth the money if you make a lot of food form scratch. Mix the sugar, flour, and salt 1st in said mixer. Then cube up some cold butter and throw it in and beat it until the pages stick together and it is a pebbly mixture. Butter and eggs have to be cold or so I have been told. Then wrap this up and put it in the fridge for an hour.
Next is the cream cheese goodness, I love cheesecake and with the 1st two of these posts I am sure you have noticed. Room temperature cream cheese with sugar, vanilla, and egg yolk. Be a hero and do not buy the yolk carton, that is weak and you should be ashamed of your laziness, plus you need the egg white later. Beat those ingredients until they are smooooth. (Really sorry). The put the bowl in the fridge for an hour.
In your bowl of cherries toss 2 teaspoons of sugar, some lemon juice and that Grand Marnier then put that in the fridge and take a break, you deserve it.
Hour passes, I am back from the balcony, it is hot here people and the oven being on is not going to help!
Roll out your dough so that it is 12′ in diameter, put this on parchment paper on an upside down pizza tray. Heat up the oven to 375, and put another pizza sheet or cookie sheet or flat piece of metal you bought off of Tomsula in the Topeka rail yard into the oven in the middle to warm her up like an oil drum at the ole rail yard in…. nevermind. Now spread the cream cheese mixture in the middle of the dough leaving a couple of inches around because we be folding. Sprinkle the chocolate chips on the cream cheese then put the cherry mixture on top of that. Fold in the crust so it surrounds the outside of the filling. Brush the crust with the egg white you had saved and then put it all in the fridge for 15 mins. Take a break, you deserve it.
Put the pastry and the parchment paper on the warmed tray in the oven until the crust is golden about 40 minutes, a little bit more if you are at a higher altitude physically. I am so for folks at a higher altitude I did another 5 minutes. Take a break, you deserve it.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2-vg7070fo]
If you don’t know who the real Chopper is then do some research. This skit makes me laugh my ass off, Ronnie Johns is just perfect. I once met Chopper Read in Port Douglas, Australia and it was hot as balls in the tropics and here he was drinking hot chocolate. The rumoUr is true he indeed has no ears from lopping them off himself in the big house.
Let this cool for half an hour, it will be worth it in the end.
Holy shit this was fantastic. Taking the pits out of the fresh cherries was definitely worth the time and the effort. This was one of the best munchie concoctions I have ever put together. The chocolate and the cherries have a strong enough taste that if you were to make the crust with cannabutter the taste would be affected minimally.
To note, I at 3/4 of this in a day and a half.
I can’t tell the difference.
The water makes you pee. The beer makes you sad.
Heat is a way of life in my community. We don’t call the electric bill the “light” bill like most of American society, here we say “I can’t believe how high my July A/C bill was”. Lights are optional, phase-change cooling is not.
Y’ALL REEEEEEADY TO MAKE SOME NOOOOOOISE?!?
This photo raises more questions than it answers.
Human beings are, at their most basic, creatures with a survival first mindset. Not to mention there are a great many undereducated amongst them. One of the things you have to deal with living in a beach community is being swarmed by them when the weather gets hot.
Today is our hottest day so far, 85 degrees and 80% humidity. It’s 108 inland, so like a bunch of creatures trying to survive this huge mass of fucking humanity from the inland areas simply drives – blindly in many cases – to the beach to cool off.
There have been no plans made, no logistics taking into account it’s just “Fuck it, let’s go to the beach. We can get beer and ice and snacks when we get there.”
Well guess what? About 2 million other fucking bodies are doing the same fucking thing. And just because you’re not from around here doesn’t mean that things like common courtesy, common logic and little things like, you know, the fucking laws don’t apply.
This is why locals stay at home during the summer, especially on weekends.
Buncha fucking lemmings.
Life wouldn’t be so bad if not for all the goddamned ppl
A- fucking – men Brother Hippo!
You mean they didn’t even get opiates before they left??!?!
No Rex joke???
It was 80+ on the thermometer in my kitchen window, and ballsweat% humidity today. I am just hiding in front of my fan with the AC on hoping no one makes me go outside.
I knew it was time to turn on the ac when I started sweating while using the fucking TV remote!
Lower back problems in soccer players tend to manifest themselves towards the end of tightly-contested games.
In case yer wandering, yeah, I did the syence.
Opiates for Scotch.
Our grow op treasurer is on board
Indeed, this MAY be a trade I am in fact familiar with…hypothetically speaking, of course.
Why not both?
/reads warning label
Meh, fuck it. What’s the worst that could happen?
the gub’ment just hates FUN is all
In recent “I Shit You Not/Nothing Is True On The Internet” News-
*I’m currently looking into the possibility of purchasing a failed hydroponic veggie growing business to see if it can be a profitable weed growing thingy. I already have the distribution network in place and if details can be worked out financially, it’s a no-brainer.
*I have my own business that exists alongside 5 other businesses that are run by 4 other cousins.
You last name isn’t “Salamanca” by any chance?
/DING DING DING!
You ever think you might not need a criminal lawyer, but a criminal lawyer? I am bored with my job, hook me up with pills, good cable, and Canuck citizenship and I’ll be right up.
Gyros and hummus and falafal oh my!
That was quite tasty and now I’m going to make some Moscow mules.
Noriega must be so proud right now…
What a garbage goal
The CIA would like you to remove this comment.
“Apropos ”
As an adverb it means “unrelated to any previous act or comment”
As an adjective it means “very appropriate to a particular situation”
“Apropos” is very obviously a double agent planted in our the English language by the KGB during the Cold War.
DO NOT TRUST THIS WORD UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
People just kept using it wrong until its antonym became its synonym. Like moot.
I enjoy when people say “That is a mute point.”
Then I get a quizzical look when I answer “Well, I still heard it.”
NOUN
1.an assembly held for debate, especially in Anglo-Saxon and medieval times.
2.a mock trial set up to examine a hypothetical case as an academic exercise.
That is like the 3rd/4th dictionary definition when you search. And the only one to only cite the correct version.
It is just the noun. The MW is:
Definition of moot
1a : open to question, debatable
b : subjected to discussion, disputed
2: deprived of practical significance :
made abstract or purely academic
So definition 1: Open to discussion
Definition 2: Purely academic and already known.
The second of which is only a definition now because people are stupid and the dictionary now puts what idiots repeat as official words. And most of them are saying mute instead of moot.
I don’t think it is that simple; it is an auto-antonym or autantonym
Here is the grammar nazi version;
https://english.stackexchange.com/questions/96435/the-point-is-moot
Whatever. the point is moot.
<3
/ Am giving that a read though
*mute
No fair cleaning your post up after I replied. I still am right.
I got rid of the extra line breaks, detective.
Is “Apropos of nothing” a phrase that is through the looking glass???
“I’m still trying to figure out the Cheshire Cat’s smile. I ain’t got time for that.”
-Alice
Tom knows wazzup
Perhaps it’s a Canadia thing but something that was considered to be of exceptional quality back in the day was called ‘the cat’s ass’.
/no one says it anymore
//[sigh]
As far as I’m concerned, you committed porn right there.
MODERATOR!
You should have seen what I went through to get to that; apparently a lot of cat sexual anthropomorphism is out on de webs.
()*()
I. can’t. stop. laughing.
/seriously, 3 minutes at least
The thought of you combing over tons of god-awful images that might make your skin crawl so that you could post that. I’m still laughing as I type this.
Keep in mind; gifs….. in this instance gifs are worse. I didn’t know it was that prevalent. It’s enough to kill most of the boners.
ah still say it, so tis alive and well in the South
You’re the greatest, Hippo.
You mean “the bee’s knees”
I decided to become a drug addict this week, so I found this post very helpful.
This post made you go get an opioid prescription?
It made me think about homemade cherry pie.
I can’t believe no one did this yet anyway….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjyZKfdwlng
Really thought about making that the header.
The song or………
I have heard Cherry Poppins is a great actress.
OK that IS addicting…… in both forms.
once u pop, u just can’t stop!!
And he’s not even our official gateway blogger!
Davis Love III is still a huge arrogant piss head.
That is all.
Nice guy in person and played with him at Turnberry, made fun of Furyk in the group in front of us on a practice round. I shit you not.
Interesting. Maybe he’s chilled out some then.
Played behind him years ago at the Jimmy V Classic and he was a whining buffoon, as expected. Maybe he was having a bad day.
But he still played collegiately (sp?) at U*NC. Thus I’m unconvinced.
So I worked there 2003-2005 when the Open was at Troon. Furyks dad got drunk every night in the whisky bar and invited us out the next day, so it was me, Love, Jims dad, and my buddy (the other bartender). Love was cracking jokes and he and Jims father would yell at Jim from the teebox. We brought along whisky and Jims dad left us week long vip passes at the gate. It was one of the greatest weeks of my life.
QUIT INTERFERING WITH TEH HATRED.
LOL
RYE BEER DRINKERS NEED TO GO BACK WHERE THEY CAME FROM.
HYDRATION BREAK!
-sponsored by the Houston 500
[does google search]
“Wait a second-that’s not a NASCAR event!”
I ASKED FOR WATER! [thinks for a sec] ahh…got it.
Said no NASCAR fan ever, maybe.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/nfl/ex-raiders-qb-todd-marinovich-making-comeback-at-48/ar-BBE0hZd?OCID=ansmsnnews11
Yep, sounds clean to me.
Nothing wrong about walking naked around someone’s backyard; YOU JUST CAN’T GET ARRESTED FOR IT.
“Todd has come a long, long way, believe you me. He didn’t even bother to bring me with him this time. He really deserves another chance.”
-Marinovich’s loaded gun
PORTER DRINKERS ARE JUST FOOLING THEMSELVES!
/drinking an oatmeal porter as we speak…errrr type
//now feels foolish, but doesn’t know why
BELGIAN WIT DRINKERS HAVE LOST THEIRS!
I respectfully disagree. Polygamy Porter by Wasatch Brewery is fucking unreal.
IF YOU LIKE PORTER YOU ARE STOOPID.
/Doing reverse IPA hating/trolling; OH THE IRONY!
I think Porter and or stout are just like IPAs. Either you do, or you dont.
I like all three. Some porters can get a bit sweet for my tastes.
I guess the only beer style I have tried and have not had one that I have liked is the big brewery “light beers.” I have had ones I liked and ones I went “I don’t think I’ll order that one again” in every style.
It doesn’t seem to me that there is anywhere near the IPAhate with any of the other styles; thus my joking.
Dom Dwyer was born in Cuckfield, England. Interesting.
not the team I’m cheering for-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-NshzYK9y0
Is there a thready-thread-thread for a certain CONCACAF showdown?
Is it Martinique v Barbados?
US/Panama. Don’t tell me it’s already been played…
Nerp! Looks like she’s live on TSN2 (The Canada) and Fox Something (Mudica)
Sorry, Martinique v Nicaragua is later.
Fuck them.
— El Salvador
“FUCK EL SALVADOR!”
“Meh, already did.”
-USA
I would enjoy the “exactly how did the CIA fuck over this particular sad little banana republic” discussion.
Since when does French Guiana field a team? I thought they, Suriname, and Guyana were the red-headed ginger step-children of South America that everyone pretended didn’t exist?
And how the fuck is French Guiana in CONCACAF instead of CONMEBOL? Is that the equivalent of making them live in the basement away from the public?
It is the same argument, albeit a smaller scale of why the Aussies went to Asia group. The red-headed step children would get crushed by the CONMEBOL so they think they have a shot in CONCACAF. Hell, I hope in my adulthood that Canada makes it.
Except I think with the Aussies it’s the opposite, considering they were Oceania. Who has always been at war with Eastasia.
Thy moved so that they could get an automatic bid with Asia, in oceania they had to play off against south americas 5th place team.
“I’m a big boy!” -CONCACAF
Just use this scotchy. I do enjoy the futbol. plus my houseguest, baby, and wife are sleeping….
Oh Hippo, just saw the Everton news. That fucking sucks. I feel for you.
oh, I cover it in tonight’s open thread.
/sad chuh chuh
https://www.brewersassociation.org/press-releases/zymurgy-magazine-announces-2017-best-beers-in-america/
Ummm, where is Olympia? It’s the water.
I am just the conduit.
Way too many many IPA’s rewarded as far as I’m concerned.
[waits]
Yes. It is too bad you don’t get Phillips Brewery in Ontario Scotchy. I detest IPA’s but they make 1 that I love on a hot day, like today, with no aircon.
You would have killed yourself if you were a conscripted British sailor.
Meh, they probably would have killed you anyway.
There is a brewery downtown here that makes a “Saison IPA” which, I guess, is a mix of the two processes. It is as mild as a pilsner.
I am intrigued. Sailor? Yeah I would have ran and hid in the highlands.
“I’m sure the rank and file English navy or merchant seaman in the age of sail had a great life…….”
-Lieutenant William Bligh
PILSNER DRINKERS ARE A FUCKING SPACE CULT!!
Congratulations on IPAtrolling me; good job.
“Meh, that’s easy.”
-Bakery and meat counter people at the Whole Foods by my work place.
https://beerconnoisseur.com/articles/2016-top-selling-craft-beer-styles-us
Not influenced, but this makes me like it a bit less, shows that breweries are making them way milder.
My wife and I loved the Okanagan valley, the wineries are fantastic almost all have great restaurants. We were there during cherry season as well and I think I are more cherries in that week than I have for the rest of my life. Must be something about the climate for cherries being really good for grapes as Lake Chelan in WA state has great wineries and grows a lot of cherries.
http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/nevada-dispensaries-running-out-of-marijuana/ar-BBDYU9E?OCID=ansmsnnews11
Maybe DFO should open a legal grow?
We’d be OK on a large cash only business…….. maybe not.
/volunteers FOAR treasurer
//opioid epidemic continues
Cracking an egg and finding a double yolk is good luck, right?
If the farm is downstream from the chemical plant, maybe not so much.
Not for the potential twin chickens you just ate.
Well, they would have just turned out to be low level street thug chicken with no potential….. too lazy to even cross the road.
obligatory smgdh
/probably sexting on they free Obamaphones all day to
Seriously; well done.
Headband is a pretty delightful strain to dabble around with. The home delivery thing you have is fucking epic though.
As an aside, I am on page 18 of Drew’s new book and it is already fucking bananas. Dude can fucking write!
/even if Deadspin is hackneyed garbage now
I thoroughly enjoyed it. I’ve got the hard back edition and I’m going to have him sign it for me on Monday. I’ve already got a signed “Men with Balls.”
I bought “Men With Balls” hard cover too! Twas pretty hilarious, but this is next level. Captures the inner trapped middle-aged Dad feels pretty aptly already (even if one loves their family).
He definitely has a dad vibe going. He’s doing a book reading right down the street in Manhattan Beach. I’ve been trying to meet the guy for years and he’s coming to my own hood.
There may be drunken frivolity.
Postmortal was excellent too. I will get around to The Ride soon. His kindle single The Rover was a quick fun read.
you are a bad motherfucker, Litre!
Also, totes right that organic is a ripoff (mostly), but simple ingredients and buying local (within reason) are not. That’s sustainable and healthy.
/Considers nuanced argument about the nuances, pluses, and in practice minuses of organic farming.
//Fuck it.
About 40% of food in the US is wasted along the food chain; mostly because stores and restaurants are under pressure to have everything all the time. Most of which goes to landfills. The local and seasonal argument is right on.
/throws out strawberries he forgot in the fridge.
So, if you eat the whole fucking thing as it looks fucking delicious, how insanely high are you going to get?
What would be the proper dosage?
Well that was a fairly close up shot. i cut it into 8 pieces. It would be all dependant on how strong your butter is. The butter I have now is potent that I would use 1/3 of what the recipe called for in cannabutter. Then 1 slice would be sufficient.
With me cherry… anything is fucking fantastic. I’d have to make a bake one the freeze the remainder and a non-bake one to rip into and devour.
Or you end up ON youtube, if your asshole friends have their camera handy.
As I read this I am munching on a peach that we pilfered from a tree down the street. My wife and I like to call ourselves the “fruit bandits” cause we collect fruit in the neighborhood while walking the dog.
As far as permissions go we’re basically honey-badgering it. One person has told us to take as many limes as we like, anytime (they have a very prolific tree and if they left a bucket out I would happily tidy up fallen ones as payment for the ones we pick). We haven’t encountered anyone else who seems to care one way or the other.
Let me think about what’s out there…plenty of limes, plenty of lemons (Meyer lemons are out of season, though), avocados (hard to get cause you can’t reach the ones in the tree and have to find them when they fall), oranges (don’t even have to leave home for those) tangerines (out of season), peaches (small but very much IN season), nectarines (only last for a week or so and then the owner picks them ALL probably cause they don’t want to have to clean them off the ground), persimmons, pomegranates…that’s about it. We should probably figure out where the grapefruit is at.
I am so jealous of you. I rent 2 garden plots just to grow beets, carrots, onions etc. My balcony is basically an herb garden, no not that herb, but that is where it is smoked! We may be moving to the aforementioned Okanagan in a year or so where I will have not as many options as you but still options for fruit piratrey.
u just stealing from God, if’n he don’t like it he strike u ded imo