Your “And It Was the Best Day Ever” Tuesday Night/MLB ASG Open Thread

Well at least for me it was. More after the news.


NFL News
Subtract one day from all the things I said yesterday!

Chiefs promote co-director of player personnel Brett Veach to general manager after former GM John Dorsey parted on mutual terms.

Apparently Cardinals coach Bruce Arians had surgery in February to remove a cancerous spot in one of his kidneys, according to his new book The Quarterback Whisperer, released today. In it he says he feels great and promises to coach this year for all those who have cancer.

Dolphins WR Jarvis Landry wants an extension but will not negotiate one once the season starts. He added that he wouldn’t mind playing under the franchise tag in 2018.
• Landry has more receptions in his first three seasons (288) than any other receiver in history and will be making under $900,000 this season.

Calvin Johnson, Jr. on why he retired: “I didn’t see the chance for [the Lions] to win a Super Bowl at the time, and for the work I was putting in, it wasn’t worth my time to keep on beating my head against the wall … and not going anywhere.…It’s the definition of insanity.”
• So rule of threes means that the Lions will squander another once-in-a-generation/candidate for best ever at their position talent by being mediocre through that player’s entire career. Can we take bets on which position the third’ll play? I’m gonna say safety.

Panthers coach Ron Rivera hopes that QB Cam Newton will be able to get the ball out faster this year thanks to the playmakers they’ve added on offense.
• “…instead of running for the touchdown like a me-first gloree boyyyyyy,” added sportswriters.

Speaking of the Panthers, a Panthers fan named his son after chants for MLB Luke Kuechly. That’s right, he named his son Luuuke. Granted, it’s the kid’s middle name (the child’s first name is Cameron, after Cam Newton), but still, really?

Other sports news
An independent review confirms Joe Horn’s victory over Manny Pacquiao, even if it wasn’t the same unanimous decision that the fight judges had.
• I guarantee nobody will care, either because they’ll still say Pacquiao was robbed or they don’t care.

From fights nobody cares about to fights nobody should care about, the media circus for Mayweather–McGregor has started with their first promotional tour.
• Apart from stroking people’s massive egos, why do they need any type of promotional tour—wait, I answered the question from the beginning of the question, never mind!

Derek Jeter adds Michael Jordan to his investors to try and buy the Miami Marlins.

New Jersey governor Chris Christie was on New York sports radio station WFAN and promptly got cursed out by a caller. In fairness he deserved it.


What’s on tonight?
World Series of Poker, 7:30E, ESPN

CONCACAF Gold Cup
Costa Rica vs. Canada (in Houston), 7:30E, FS1
Honduras vs. French Guiana, 10E, FS1

Apart from our respective countries, we’re all rooting for French Guiana, Martinique, and Curaçao, right? Especially because Martinique beat Nicaragua and leads Group B (after one match)! (They play the U.S. tomorrow.)

MLB All-Star Game, 8E, Fox

So… yeah, there’s arguably even less on TV tonight than usual because tonight’s the All-Star Game in Miami. It’s their first All-Star Game (leaving only the Tampa Bay Rays as never hosting one because calling Tropicana Field a shithole is an insult to shitholes) but considering they host the Super Bowl in Miami every four years I imagine everything’s fine. This is the first year of the return of “This Time It Doesn’t Count,” because after 14 years of the winning league getting home-field advantage in the World Series (which the AL enjoyed for the most part) they don’t anymore, and instead of the olden-times version of alternating which league is home it goes to the team with the better record. Which actually makes sense and falls in line with the other sports that have a championship series, so… thanks Rob Manfred? Although this asks one question: what if they’re tied and go to extras? Since it doesn’t count, will they call it a tie a la 2002? Because that was kind of the worst, which is why there were 14 years of It Counting.

The good news is I totally got to benefit from It Counting because the most memorable ballgame I’ve ever been to and bona fide contender for best/most memorable day of my life was the All-Star Game in 2008 at Yankee Stadium. Well, the better one, this one’s a bit too commercial, even though it’s all right. That was my HS graduation present from my parents, one bleacher ticket, Section 41, Seat 1… I’m tempted to say Row M? The e-ticket’s somewhere, I think in my game program (as opposed to the same program that I didn’t buy at the game). I don’t have pictures because it was right before smartphones became a massive thing and my dad lent me the digital camera… which promptly said it was low on batteries when I got off the train—but I have memories and a scorecard that kept going into the margins until I ran out of paper in the 13th. It is very difficult to figure out that many lineup and position and pitching changes, especially because at least you gave one page for each team but for fuck’s sake why would you use glossy rest-of-the-program magazine paper for a scorecard page? I thought about getting another card but I figured it wasn’t worth however much I was going to have to pay for it, and definitely not if I was going to have to buy another full program. That night gave us such things as one final roll call for former Yankee player and announcer Bobby Mercer who had died a few days before, calling Jonathan Papelbon overrated and then determining it would be worth it if he ended up taking the loss as he got lifted for Mariano Rivera to manys of boos that turned to ballistic cheers and I’m pretty sure I sang along to “Enter Sandman,” (and then Billy Wagner of the Mets blew that lead right back which was a bonus), feeling bad for Dan Uggla (0/4 with 3 strikeouts and a double play, and three errors) but still chanting to hit it to him because it was like 1 in the morning and nobody planned on a 50,000 person sleepover, and briefly cheering for Red Sox outfielder J.D. Drew tying the game with a home run and then letting him know that it was a one-time thing with a “You still suck” chant (he won MVP). I got home at 2, went to bed at 4 (after watching them break down the game and because I was still hopped up), and had no voice for a week. So yeah, best day of my life so far.

All right, I’m done reminiscing for the day. Comment away!

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Senor Weaselo
Senor Weaselo plays the violin. He tucks it right under his chin. When he isn't doing that, he enjoys watching his teams (Yankees, Jets, Knicks, and Rangers), trying to ingest enough capsaicin to make himself breathe fire (it hasn't happened yet), and scheming to acquire the Bryant Park zamboni.
Subscribe
Notify of
107 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments

[…] that’s where I went with the title. Because as I mentioned last year, I did have the fortune to go to the 2008 game, and it was a midsummer night’s dream to […]

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Just picked up a beer and some SPONCH! at the 7/11 around the corner from my airbnb. Gotta do some work since I couldn’t get the wifi to work on my flight to LA. Word.

Mr. Ayo

You didn’t ask for your free Slurpee?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I just wanted the beer.

/didn’t know it was free slurpee day until two teenagers came in to ask if it was still happening
//cashier told them no, so they left
///I’ve never had a slurpee #fatguyconfessions
////I’m not using this format correctly

Mr. Ayo

/////dick joke

//////you’re welcome

Romonobyl

“Fig Newtons and scotch, they’re great if you dip them.”

Brick Meathook

comment image

Unsurprised

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Unsurprised

comment image

Brick Meathook

The Gimp goes back to sleep
comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’d like one of these at work, with a nice sound system of course.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey look, he gets a truck AND a really big glass dildo.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehe. I stand corrected.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yeah, careful sitting.

Mr. Ayo

Oh, now a Mariner gets a clutch hit.

WCS

First time those words have ever been used in that sequence.

Mr. Ayo

NAWT TRUE
comment image

WCS

I suppose you’re right. Their success in the post-season with Griffey and Ichiro speaks for itself, all those pennants and World Series titles.

Mr. Ayo

I’m just saying it was said ONCE.

Romonobyl

“In 1987 a truck hit my Dodge Mariner and the clutch stopped working”.
LIES!!!!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Romonobyl

That happened to me the last time I wore assless pants on a United flight.

theeWeeBabySeamus

The “last time”…huh?

Romonobyl

Well, for United it was.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Horatio Cornblower

West, while a self-important prick, is actually very good on balls and strikes.

Hernandez is in their because of seniority, because no one give a shit about the All-star game, and because maybe doing this one meaningless thing will avert his stupid lawsuit.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’ve noticed he never neglects the balls.

King Hippo

I told ya, me no watch. I DID feel smug this am upon learning that the best NL batting and pitching lines belonged to Birdos, though.

Wakezilla

Still waiting to get an xray: I got kicked out because a plethora of kids showed up and so it’s 1 parent per kid.

Crazy things I overheard from walking my daughter around:

1) “Ma’am, your child needs to eat more than just cookies and drinking pop”

2) “Please don’t call the cops on me if my daughter gets HIV from the needle”

3) Father to daughter: “Stop being a fucking pussy and show the nurse your ankle, you idiot!”

….more to come

theeWeeBabySeamus

3) Father to daughter: “Stop being a fucking pussy and show the nurse your ankle, you idiot!”

Sorry, didn’t think I’d said it that loud.

litre_cola

Quite the children’s hospital you are at Wake. There is a big range of parenting styles there it seems.

herodotus450

Protip: casually mention that you have a gun, authorities always respond quicker when there is a gun involved.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

My “best day ever” (I’d actually describe it as my “biggest” day ever) took place in Durban, when we headed up to see the Sharks play the Stormers in the final Super 12 game of the season with the playoffs on the line. Beers at the stadium were the equivalent of $1 each, so as you can imagine I can barely remember the end of the game, which the Stormers won thanks to a late try. That evening we went to a nightclub called “Tiger Tiger” at the horse track. By the later part of the evening my friends had gone missing (one of them got kicked out of the club for “selling” drugs – “I was giving them away!” he insisted, honestly, this I know because he tried to put a tab of ecstasy in my mouth). I managed to find a kindly lass named Natasha who offered me a ride back to my hostel; she ended up coming in and spending the night. All in all it was a very good day.

ballsofsteelandfury

Now THAT is a best day ever!

WCS

Everyone: “I never thought FOX could get worse at broadcasting sports.”

Joe Buck: “Hold my 14-year single malt scotch.”

Shogun Marcus

14? Peasant piss.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s right, he named his son Luuuke. Granted, it’s the kid’s middle name (the child’s first name is Cameron, after Cam Newton), but still, really?

“The extra U is for ‘university’!”

UNC students, attempting to spell the word “cat”.

theeWeeBabySeamus

See? That right there. That’s why I love this guy.

scotchnaut

/Canada gets its second corner of the game

“Oh, the near competency!”

Shogun Marcus

Sourry. We’re not trying to embarrass you.

...

Fox is trying to XFL this game.

Horatio Cornblower

The Yankees really need to drop him off in Scranton on the way home until he gets his shit together.

scotchnaut

Canuck Announcer: “If Canada scores a goal here then Bob’s yer uncle, fer sure! Would you agree?”

Uncle Bob: [finishes swig of beer] “Well of course! Are you some damn stupid gearbox or something?”

...

It’s so nice that I have whole unit A/C again. I’m not grumpy and sweaty and none of you have to hear me bitch about being grumpy and sweaty anymore. Win-win!

herodotus450

…but we can still hear about the sweaty part, right?
/unzips pants

...

Buddy, I wouldn’t dare deprive you.

scotchnaut

A/C is the single greatest invention of all time/that I can think of. The wheel comes in a close second.

theeWeeBabySeamus

1. Vodka
2. Vodka
3. Vodka

…then the rest of whatever other shit the rest of you like in whatever order you choose.

...

My favorite theory of why humans settled and started civilization was because it allowed them to grow the necessary ingredients for alcohol.

scotchnaut

The Canadian men’s soccer team scored a goal? There is no dog.

litre_cola

Le GOLLLLLLLLLLL!

litre_cola

I stand coUrrected.

WCS

This is FOX. I’m genuinely surprised they didn’t interview Tony Romo in the huddle for six years.

Gratliff

“Tony, you’re now down by 9 points following that pick-6. Did you not see that linebacker crossing the zone in front of Dez while looking at you the way a pit bull might eye a t-bone?”

theeWeeBabySeamus

25 years ago or so, I was told by a then significant other that I look like John Smoltz. I never saw the resemblance personally, and even now he’s still better looking than me anyway.

But I have more hair. I win.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Roberto Alomar looks more insane than he used to.
Wow.

Wakezilla

Yesterday, wife let her guard down for a split second and baby wakezilla pulled down a 10-20 lbs jewelry armour on her side. Baby Wakezillaette was extra cuddly, but seemed fine. So I took her out to the park later that night as per our nightly tradition. Today, baby wakezillaette is moving gingerly and crawling a lot, which is weird because she never really crawls since she learned to walk unassisted 2 months ago (she’s 11 months ). Something feels off with her, despite being the happiest baby, so I took her to the doctor. Doctor checks her out and tells me that we need to go to the ER because she might have a broken fucking leg!

This….has not been a pleasant experience

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yikes. Best of luck.
Sounds like a tough li’l Wakezillaette tho, FWIW.

litre_cola

Holy fuck. All the best bud. That is a tough and gritty kid you have if she wasnt wailing the whole time.

Shogun Marcus

All the best for Babywake!

WCS

That just means Percocets for you!

/seriously, hopefully it’s nothing serious

ballsofsteelandfury

Jesus! I hope she is ok!

Don T

I hope she gets better man.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Helllooooooo Bebe.

litre_cola

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image

Gratliff

Has anyone ever benefited from an untimely death as much as the Big Bopper, that one hit wonder hack?

Brick Meathook

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

I wish there was a way to put this up as the banner quote.
😀

theeWeeBabySeamus

The actual Bebe in question.
Singer of national anthems, and filler of pants. Speaking of pants, mine got a little tighter just now.
comment image

scotchnaut

[looks at pic] She must have been feeling a little hoarse there.

Shogun Marcus

Oh for the record, Castlevania on Netflix is pretty good. A shame it’s only four episodes (so far). And if you like reading BDD’s work, reading Crooked Little Vein or Normal wouldn’t be a stretch. Transmetropolitan is a masterpiece and is just too eerily similar to now.

litre_cola

Soooo Aaron Judge or Lonzo Ball. One is talented, the other could be, who does ESPN blow more?

...

Ball has the potential to be a shit show, so I can see ESPN pumping up his story for the ratings and clicks.

Shogun Marcus

Thought I heard they were giving these idjits a kardashian show.

litre_cola

Sadly I would watch episode 1 just for the car crash. Then I would not watch any longer.

herodotus450

All star game tie breaker should go to whichever team can take the longest to sing hte national anthem

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Bleeding Gums would’ve made the roster every year.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4c2KDLWpI0

herodotus450

He had to stop playing once they outlawed chew though smh

theeWeeBabySeamus

So, will Aaron Judge part the seas to tonight, or just merely levitate with great machismo?

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

The sports”writer” knob-slobbering is already reaching an insufferable point with him. I saw some idiot comparing Judge to Babe Ruth, Michael Jordan and other actual Hall of Famers. Totally doesn’t remind me of this at all.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23IIQx8PSFE

...

This aged *extremely* well.

...

Knob-slobbery aside, I appreciate that when Judge sits down for an interview he actually seems to converse as opposed to just barfing out memorized platitudes.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Agreed. I actually like the kid a lot even if he is a stinkin’ Yankee.
But the media really does need to climb down off his dick now.

King Hippo

I am reading Noah Hawley’s (the guy who do f/x’s “Fargo”) “Before the Fall.” Tis quite compelling.

I don’t care for the All-Star Game and hope my Most Glorious el beisbol Cardinals get to rest instead.

ballsofsteelandfury

When you said it was the best day ever, I thought that meant you got laid.

King Hippo

And he could manage gettin’ laid, too. On account of all that fancy fiddle playin’ and all. We wouldn’t all just yell out “bullshit” like as if most of the rest of us had tried to claim same…

litre_cola

Fancy fiddle. That was good.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Only in handshoes and horse grenades, son.