Your “Magic of the Melancholy Tear In Your Eye” Saturday Evening Open Thread

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7UHd7NVegE

I realize it’s splitting hairs, given their mild similarities, but I love Tom Waits, and absolutely fucking hate Leonard Cohen. This was a fightable point last year when Cohen died, and I gave wet farts about his legacy. I grant that people are entitled to hold their wrong opinions, but I haven’t had that many people try to convert me since I left the church 30 years ago.


Exciting site news: we passed 3000 posts on Wednesday night, with yours truly’s Open Thread. I think that’s pretty good for a site run by volunteers & producing work based on personal interest. Cutting out non-game day Open Threads still has the site with over 2000 individual posts.

The truly commendable part is that the site continues to produce quality work during the off-season, when most sites  devolve into BarStool Sports, remaining lowest-common denominator until their main content returns to action. People are still eager to contribute, and the spam filter means we spend less of our time discussing the KHL.

Plus, there’ll always be Crimebeat!


A double-shot video treat this evening, as ComicCon brought us (a couple of days ago) a combination “Archer” & “Kingsman” promo:

Now all I want is a live-action “Archer” movie, with Jon Hamm lip-syncing H. Jon Benjamin’s voice.


Tonight’s sports:

  • MLB:
    • Rangers at Rays – 4:00 PM | FS1
  • CFL:
    • Roughriders vs. Stampeders – 9:00 PM | TSN
  •  UFC:
    • UFC Fight Night: From Uniondale, N.Y.
      • Prelims – 4:00 PM | FOX / TSN5
      • Main event bouts: Weidman-Gastelum – 6:00 PM | FOX / TSN5
  • Futbol:
    • International Champions Cup Soccer:
      • Paris Saint-Germain vs. Tottenham – 8:00 PM | ESPN2
    • CONCACAF Gold Cup Soccer 2017:
      • A semifinal – 10:00 PM | FS1 / TSN5
    • LigaMX
      • TBA – 8:00 Pm | UNI

One final note: SEE “DUNKIRK” ON THE BIG SCREEN! Holy shitballs – what a movie. If it was released Christmas Day, they’d be talking Oscar all of January. You can’t describe it without ruining the experience for others. Just go see it; you’ll be talking about it all week. Five kegs out of 5 on the Beerguyrob rating system.

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl

Now they’ll never get that smell out of the fish!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Pilate being gay would probably still work….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGZgG8Ub8k4

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Fox and Friends would like it.

Romonobyl

It would fit their bizarre mold.

Romonobyl

Ted Neeley is still doing that gig off-broadway. That has to be a record.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Is he really?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Good for him.
About time Jesus got some for himself.

JerBear50

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Judas being cast black would probably never happen again I guess.
45 years of progress.

Romonobyl

Progress/pandering…the line blurs at times.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Ask Philando Castile about fucking pandering.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Progress?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I was just being a contrarian dickhead.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl

I’m not particularly religious, but that was a really good movie.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Me neither.
And I agree.

Romonobyl

I have the house for myself tonight. Should I:

1: Go to bed and rub one out.
2: Drink one more beer before going to bed and rubbing one out.
3: Put the thumbdrive of music I keep in my car in the home music box, air guitar for an hour while drinking a beer, then go to bed and rub one out.

JerBear50

I’m confused by this “a” beer that you referenced.

Romonobyl

Oh, it had a plethora of predecessors.

JerBear50

If you can think of and correctly spell “plethora of predecessors” I’m not sure you’ve had enough. This has not reached MTWV-level of late night posting.

Romonobyl

It took more than one try.

theeWeeBabySeamus

3.
Delayed gratification is the bestest gratification.

Romonobyl

Apparently I’m still waiting. Makes sense.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Makes me want to see the movie even more.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Dad was always such a ham.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

needz moar airplane.

Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Predator (1987)

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Qualified.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JerBear50

God Damn.

Romonobyl

That’s a woman right there.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JerBear50
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Eggsaladant choice!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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herodotus450

Is this like a rhebus? I got it: Acid Chicken-Wing Dreamboat-Shimmy Masturbation. Or maybe what I got was aphasia

Senor Weaselo

Freak out? Okay.
http://imgur.com/MVwwda2

JerBear50
King Hippo

this is just wonderful

JerBear50

Yeah, Rev is good shit.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JerBear50

I don’t need that kind of pressure man. MY PUNS NEED ROOM TO BREATHE!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Romonobyl

Goddammit I missed the food truck festival downtown. I guess that means another night of solid turds.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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NOT TRUE!!

*Damn it.

Romonobyl

Pill?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Edibles has not been invented by scientists when this was made…..bitter pill word play…. bad choice by the gubermant.

Romonobyl

Ahh, makes sense. Never touched it myself, too busy drinking, but good to know!

Romonobyl

I don’t care what they say, my local news stations have the hottest anchor-chicks in Texas.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The visual jokes are falling on deaf eyes.

Romonobyl

I see what you’re saying.

King Hippo

WHAT???

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

EH???

*Canadian translation.

King Hippo

bilingual because WE CARE

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Sheep AND goats; it just makes sense!

King Hippo

I throw shade, and fucking Howard makes a nice save. Goddamnit.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl

I sell my soul to Gravatar, and the top of my fucking head is cropped off.

Thanks Obama!

King Hippo

“That’s for showing up at the Fuhrer’s inauguration party, buddy boy!”

– Barry Hussein O., Chicago, IL

Romonobyl

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King Hippo

“It’s true. I read ‘Mein Kampf’ to Diamond Joe every night in the Vice-Presidential residence as his bedtime story!”

– Barry Hussein O., Chicago, IL

Shogun Marcus

I used it as a reason to freshen up me image.

JerBear50

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King Hippo

apparently, Costa Rica is bad enough that Los Estados Unidos can get away with starting Tim Howard in the semifinals

Romonobyl

Success bitches!!!!!!11

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Tree: 0
Cowboy Homer: 1

The rainforest is overrated. Normally I’d say fuck Sting, but I just don’t have that kind of time.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You missed the house.

Romonobyl

Almost hit my truck, if that counts.

King Hippo

won’t get you many views on YouTube, I’m afraid.

Romonobyl

No views on YouTube is my ultimate vision quest. I like my anonymity.

JerBear50

No need to say it. We all feel it.

King Hippo

Sting is disappoint, but also understands.

herodotus450

I haven’s seen a collapse like that since the go-ahead field goal attempt of the 2007 Cowboys-Seahawks game

JerBear50

Also bad handling by a Romo.

Romonobyl

I thought we agreed that was nevah to be discussed again in this forum…

herodotus450

Oh right sorry, I’ll rephrase: I haven’t seen a collapse like that since Tony Romo’s 9th vertebrae

Shogun Marcus

Oh snap!

King Hippo

/pill bottle flies open

JerBear50

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King Hippo

it’s not that these here pills are addictive, I just prefer to have several of ’em every single day. Brittfar knows what I mean ,, amirite??

King Hippo

Go Ticos!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

At least my friend tequila is here to keep me company

JerBear50

Hello Sauza my old friend, I’ve come to talk with you again…
Because a bottle softly creeping, made margaritas while I was drinking
And the pitcher that would soon erase my brain, still remains
While I black out in silence.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

methinks that summons teh gimp

Senor Weaselo

“Oh, I know it.” -Adrian Peterson

JerBear50

I’ll see your switch and raise you a Hinson.
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King Hippo

why not make every night…a blackout night??

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

where did you get that archival footage of mah ex-gf??

/also, where are the Camel Lights??

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

FANCY!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Try your X-ray vision now you fucker.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

I am very glad I went recluse, and stopped feeling things (outside of sports and music).

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Broken links now break my heart.

JerBear50

I tried to go recluse once but I couldn’t get all those legs out of the way.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That’s one tight spider hole……

JerBear50

Braggart.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

We moved into a new web together. She seems nicer than Black Widow.

JerBear50

To be fair, Black Widow was probably accustomed to certain endowments that you just can’t provide.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I just needed to keep…. my head.

King Hippo

every single released off this album has been magic this far, and I look forward to buying it next month:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bvmEYgFsgyg

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

Wild, that’s the name of my penis

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Did a bunch of the links just break?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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laserguru

Just got home from the movies and I can’t second BeerguyRobs opinion enough.
Dunkirk was incredible.

Holy fuck that was intense. May be the best war movie I’ve ever seen and I’m am old bastard.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JerBear50

I’d not heard of it until this thread. Don’t go to the movies much but might have to make an exception if it’s that good.

laserguru

You can go ahead and see this movie.

JerBear50

I might do that. I usually avoid theaters because of dealing with so many dipshits, but it’s not quite as bad midweek. Last time I went there was about six other people in the theater and I went way to the back away from everyone. So of course a couple with a four year old walked in and say directly in front of me. Oh, and did I mention he had those cute light-up shoes on that aren’t at all fucking distracting in a movie? And can you tell how hard I’m grinding my teeth when I say “cute?”

JerBear50

I don’t know of any around here. Late show on a Sunday or Monday usually isn’t too bad though, especially once it’s been out for a couple weeks.

Romonobyl

Welp, time for beer and the chainsaw. In Texas that’s usually called a Tuesday, but I pet against the grain.
See ya’s on the other side.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I can’t get over how damned FAST our new pressure cooker is. Chili that would take 4 hours now takes 30 minutes. I guess that’s why they call it an Instant Pot.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl

So I guess I’m stuck being the only commenter without a face?

King Hippo

You tried signing into/re-setting Gravatar? That worked FOAR Hippo.

Romonobyl

Thought that was the deal. So I need a WordPress.com login?

King Hippo

think I had a Gravatar account from long ago for another site, I reset that and then re-set my profile pic here too and it straightened out. Voodoo

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Shogun Marcus

Yup.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Shogun Marcus

You must gravatar. Which I nevar did previously. Remember that your DFO logins are NOT WordPress.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl

The day Superman died.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Just needed to brush my back.”

-Sparky the Horse

Senor Weaselo

THIS ROMONOBYL I CALL HIM KAONASHI BECAUSE HE IS A NO-FACE.

Romonobyl

I just finished sharpening my chainsaw (for real), now I’m gonna make a beer run then cut down a bothersome mesquite tree in the front yard.
Nobody else is home, I left a farewell note for The Dame just in case. If you don’t hear back from me in an hour, please hack my network and delete my browser history.

King Hippo

We promise nothing. COWBOYS FAN (smgdh)

DAK DAK DAK DAK!

Romonobyl

Oh so we’re going there?!?!? I’m gonna drop you like a bad transmission!!

Can’t remember the 80’s comedian that first used that line. Guess I’m getting old.

King Hippo

Welcome to old-ness. It only gets worse.

Just trying to get Glorious Commentist Party out of summer doldrums and back into Training Camp shit talking form.

Romonobyl

I can’t wait to start complaining about the regular season games!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

Pandas are the worst, and the only species I actively hope goes extinct.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Speaking of chainsaws, there were some laborers cutting down a tree across the street so I asked if I could take some as firewood. He said he didn’t speak English. So I went and looked up “firewood” on Google translate and asked again and he said yes! Nice fellow.

Romonobyl

I’m doing this because brush pickup is next week, but since I’m cutting down mesquite and this is Texas, I doubt the pile of wood will make it through the night.
No problem with me…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Damn, that looks painful.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Shogun Marcus

Well I WAS going to have ribs for dinner…suddenly I’ve changed my mind.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Don’t forget the stump!
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Romonobyl

Gravity. It’s not just a good idea, it’s the LAW!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
WCS

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I was at an Eagles concert and the opener got sick and they went and found Tom in a downtown Denver bar to sub….. he was DRUUUUUUUU…..UUUUNK. Still made it through his set. Had tickets for the next night too and he was great.

Shogun Marcus

In this debate I am 100% Tom.

Romonobyl

Same here, I never could “perform” when full in the bag.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I like them both.

JerBear50

No problems with Cohen, but definitely prefer Waits. Did he play Old 55 like it’s supposed to fucking sound? Sorry, I will curb my Eagles rant before it starts.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No need to curb it; they were “free” tickets. It was back in the old days when you could sneak in…. actually brazenly walk in with beer and drugs.

I didn’t mind the Eagles until they got big. Then it was Lebowski time.

JerBear50

Yeah, I just can’t stand what they did to a pretty unique sound. They took this new thing that was emerging, sanded it down til it had no rough edges or any semblance of soul, and then made a gajillion dollars off of it while bands like the Burrito’s and GP went mostly unnoticed. And the more I found out about them, the more it stokes my anger.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

And paid Joe Walsh so much money that his soul evaporated.

King Hippo

I am the exact opposite on Tom Waits and Leonard Cohen. Cohen is a magician (nothing can make me weep only like “Suzanne”) and doesn’t sing like he is eating marbles whilst in the recording studio.

Well, I guess neither is exactly eating marbles now, if ya know what I mean.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Shogun Marcus

I do not know what you mean. Waits is still around.

King Hippo

Christ, I thought from the entry Waits must have died this week. My brain is just fucking fried from the heat.

/though at his age, he really prolly should stop eating marbles imo godbless

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

From the heat?

King Hippo

I could NEVAR say anything bad about my beloved pillz

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl

Ahh the 80’s. I rocked a mullet like that, but was lacking a blonde with boobs.

herodotus450

“Lacking a Blonde with Boobs” is the title of my autobiography

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Romonobyl

OH FUCK YOU MAN I GET FIRSTIES!!!!!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl

I put that on the wrong comment, guess it’s time to go to the big farm where I can run and play for the rest of my life.

Romonobyl

The Dame just ordered tickets for her, me and The Boy to see Dunkirk this Sunday at the Alamo Drafthouse (a theater that serves real food, wine and local microbrews). I’m usually not a fan of the theater hassle, but the trailer of this one drew me in.
The last WWII movie I saw on the big screen was Red Tails. My God that was a horrible movie, the BLM movement should have started then.

Romonobyl

On a side note, I think this is the first time I broke a thread’s cherry. Do I get a prize?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

What are we? Just DForeplayO?

Romonobyl

With time for a light snack somewhere in between.

herodotus450
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl

1/2 Smurf, 1/2 Muppet, 1/2 crackwhore.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

So 1.5 big fake tits?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I enjoyed the times I went to the Alamo Drafthouse, but found it better for movies I’d already seen. It’s too distracting for a first viewing of something you actually care about seeing.

Romonobyl

I have the same concern. That’s why I do most of my viewing in the safety of my living room.

laserguru

Dude. Have no regrets.

It’s an amazing film.

herodotus450

So… we AREN’T going to talk about how the Metallurg Novokuznetsk and Medvescak Zagreb are leaving the KHL?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I think the two are different enough to appeal to different tastes. Music, except for the technical objective musician part is entirely subjective. Once a person gives someone a listen and is open to their music, but still doesn’t like it, then so be it. WTF is it with the hard sell and the “ur stooped” if you don’t like it. “Yeah man, but have you REALLY listened to Kenny G, I mean REALLY listened?”