Schadenfreude Footy Nirvana Open Thread

King Hippo - April 13, 2024April 12, 2024

174

I just have no idea how anything could be more magical than waking up from Thursday's nap to Redshite nil - Lesser Falacons 3. No, I am not taking the return leg for granted. But HOLY SHIT, is that ever funny. And Everton won't even disappoint me until Monday, so here's

Chasing Glory (Holes?) Saturday Open Thread

King Hippo - April 6, 2024April 5, 2024

107

Down the stretch they come, like they say in horsey racing. Or maybe I am thinking of the Houston 500?? Anyway, all three Title contenders have away fixtures this weekend. We start with City of Men traveling to Olde London Towne to meet Crystal Palace (7:30, USA). This one feels the

Saturday Preliminaries Thread

King Hippo - March 30, 2024March 29, 2024

222

Everton have been playing dreadful footy since the calendar flipped to 2024, but hey - at least I caught wind of another beautiful woman (Giulia Bould, of BBC Merseyside) who shares my Toffees life sentence. At least we've built ample character these last few years! And thank Mother of Fuck, we

Nihilism Saturday Thread

King Hippo - March 23, 2024March 22, 2024

143

Ja, Lebowski. Hippo believes in nuh-shing! There really ain't much going on for the hoopsball non-watcher. I continue to read avidly and pine for the sweet FITBAW smell of autumn. Looking forward to Draft weekend, as the Donks just swirl deeper down the terlet bowl. Even though I know fuck shit (see the

Evening Hoopsball Thread

King Hippo - March 21, 2024March 21, 2024

159

I am not watching, but Scotchy's work ethic called and the content monster shall not rest. So you get the below half-assedry! 10MW Colorado State (+2.5) v. 7MW Texas (6:50, TNT) I feel like this is an animal-fondler Derby. One knows all the Texas jokes already, but have you BEEN to Fort

Saturday Morning Rant

King Hippo - March 16, 2024March 14, 2024

175

I am a fairly tolerant mammal. I think pluralism is vital, and have no interest in everyone thinking or believing the same, from religion to politics to sportsball. But you don't get to believe there are no other planets, that the earth is flat, or that polio's return would be good for

Marching On With Lesser Footy

King Hippo - March 2, 2024March 1, 2024

I keep forgetting to draft these until I am so deep into #FridayBrain that I can't really formulate coherent thoughts. That's ok, footy has been filled with entropy of late anyway. No need to try to make any sense of it. No 7:30 fixture AGAIN. This is starting to get on

February’s Last Saturday – Open Thread

King Hippo - February 24, 2024February 23, 2024

157

There is footy, though no early-birder. But a reasonably full day, given that the schedule gets fuckety for the Cursed Caribou Cup tomorrow (hopefully Chelski will be ROCKIN' for a certain dog supporter). Four in the 10:00 window, with USA showing Villa against the Robins Hood. One never knows what to

Title Battle Begins In Earnest – Lesser Footy Saturday

King Hippo - February 17, 2024February 16, 2024

135

You get the contenders 1-2-3 (in increasing order of likelihood to succeed, in Hippo's view), all on USA/NBC. The filthy Redshite play Praise Beesus early (7:30, USA), with the unsettled Ivan Toney hopefully doing humanity in the good. He's in the shop window for the summer, no doubt. Surely he'd prefer the

Most Unusual Superb Owl (2023 Season) Thoughts

Reflections

King Hippo - February 12, 2024February 11, 2024

Well, was that a classic or a shitshow? Really, it was both. For 3+ quarters of footy, only the kickers really did anything. Nothing really happened with either offense. Then...everything happened. Except we were 1 second on the play clock away from entering Q6. Two turnovers each way, but only the Chefs

Pre-Owl Footy Thread

King Hippo - February 11, 2024

I have literally fuckall to say, but feel free to post here. I posted Hot Bayern Girl because she must be sad today. The only excuse for Arsenal's frequent use of their banana kit? If it had "Bluth's Original" as the shirt sponsor.

Half-Arsed Saturday Thread

King Hippo - February 10, 2024February 9, 2024

You know how some weeks, you wonder if it would be even theoretically possible to give less of a shit? That is Hippo today. And last night, when I wrote this slop. Apologies in advance. Early Bird Special is Everton getting its shit pushed in by City of Men (7:30, USA). I