“SOME TABLE IS BETTER THAN NONE TABLE?”

SERVER: Welcome to Cafe Fina on Monterey's beautiful Fisherman's Wharf! My name is Nick and I will be your server today. Can I start you off with anything to drink? CUSTOMER: Well, I... [DOOR FLIES OPEN] JOHN MADDEN: EXCUSE ME, BUT YOU APPEAR TO BE SITTING AT MY TABLE, AND WHEN YOU SIT AT

The Mile High Five Club

...we now resume our regularly scheduled programming in progress... TSA AGENT 1: [standing firm] You’re not getting on the plane with this thing. GUS BRADLEY: [glares at agent] I’m not getting on the plane without it. TSA AGENT 2: [diplomatically] It’s all right, Coach Bradley.  We’ll figure something out.  Let me just call our supervisor. TSA AGENT

25 NFL Questions From An Uninformed And Easily Distracted Fan: Week 7

As an homage to the overused sports writing trope of “[X number] Burning, Itching, Throbbing Questions for [X Team/X Sport/X League]”, I present to you a list of questions that I, an uninformed and easily distracted NFL fan, had after Week 7.  This week, I watched a little bit of the

An Open Letter to New DFO Visitors

Open letters are all the rage these days. There's even the open letter to open letters. Someday soon I'll write an open letter to Apple about my iPhone autocorrecting kegger to legged or letter. Here at [DFO], we've noticed a slight uptick in traffic lately and expect (read: hope) that