The problem with following Senor's post about the Jets is that he used all the good words & euphemisms for "bad". But what about other teams that suck?
The Atlanta Falcons surely qualify for such words, as they were in a Super Bowl as recently as... oh fuck it, here's the
Fade in: The Greene Science Center at Columbia University. A slightly disheveled beverage purveyor, in newly-purchased pants, is about to address a collected panel.
Beerguyrob: Esteemed professors, fellow Ph.D candidates, gathered audience members, ladies & gentlemen, and - for some reason - Arthur Laffer,
Thank you for your time today. My presentation
(checks nfl.com to see if Dan Quinn has been fired yet.)
It’s your old pal Beerguyrob, with a mid-season looksee into the progress the Atlanta Falcons are making this year.
Well, there’s been some bumps along the way, and after failing to complete their comeback against the Seahawks the Falcons entered
As God is my witness,
I had no idea where to go with this year's preview. I have covered the Falcons for [DFO] for the last three years, each with diminishing returns:
2016 - NFC Champion; lost to Patriots in Super Bowl - compared them to types of mayonnaise
Hi again. I'm Beerguyrob,
Way back in the recent past - September 3rd, to be precise - the truthiest of truth bombs was dropped on this-here site: The Atlanta Falcons are made up of mostly cheap beer.
If you don't believe me, just look at their record so far:
three wins -
I'm not sure why this team has fallen to me to preview over the years. Rikki covered them in the initial year of the site, and I think did a damn fine job half-assing it. Me - well, I didn't even muster half of that half-ass when I did the
It's very quiet, what with everyone travelling to Dallas & not wanting to tip hands ahead of Thursday night.
The John Lynch standard: don't hit women. As opposed to the "see if they're cops first" maxim followed by his teammate Warren Sapp.
Trying not to interfere in the case,
Well, when I started this, I had them pegged at 4-0. Then they shit the bed versus the Bills and I had to retype my intro. THESE FUCKERS JUST KEEP LETTING ME DOWN!
Coming off their bye this week, they host the Jay Cutler distracted Miami Dolphins, which should be an
They know what they did.
I hope Dan Quinn wakes up screaming every night at 3:28 AM, sweating in anguish over how the Falcons let down 96% of the football viewing public, with Dreamboat's stupid, ugly face as large as Godzilla standing over him, roaring in triumph. After all, TAWMMY's
I've said it before, and I'll say it again:
No, wait - that's not it.
That's the ticket.
It really is a delightful story, one of the few to come out of this somewhat disastrous 2016 season. The Atlanta Falcons, a team most pundits predicted would finish around 8-8, have surpassed all expectations
Today's topic - the Atlanta Falcons.
(posted with permission)
It's been my curse to have to follow the Falcons for DFO this year. Since I volunteered to do their season preview and their bye week update, they have done their utmost to ensure it has been a royal pain-in-my-ass to do so.
First of all, let's kick this mother off right:
The Falcons are 6-4 and on their bye this weekend. Let that sink in for a moment - the Falcons, a team that last year started 5-0 and then promptly decided that competency was for losers. The Falcons, whose one shining moment was