Quick: without looking at their record, are the Cleveland Browns a good team or a bad team? Got an answer? You're wrong. Whichever way you answered, you're wrong. Cleveland is a Limited Heisenberg Uncertainty Team: at any given time, you can know where they are, but you can't know where they are going.
Tag: cleveland browns
The Burning Stream: Your 2020 Cleveland Browns Season Preview
Cleveland, Ohio is a wonderful city, bursting with many shining examples of culture, fine dining and friendly people. Every single word of that sentence is a filthy lie, except for "Cleveland," "Ohio" and "City." And frankly, "city" is being generous. I would have gone with "penal colony," except that usually requires
Baker And Tyrod Got An RV. Let’s Talk About That.
And Now, A Very Special Musical Number to Celebrate the Cleveland Browns
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BBZ7AfZR9xs (It is tradition to rise.) Ooooh and sixteen! Ooooh and sixteen! Oh and sixteen! Oh and sixteen! Oh a-and sixteen! Ooooh and sixteen! Ooooh and sixteen! Oh and sixteen! Oh and sixteen! Oh a-and sixteen! Fooooor the city of losing teams, Cleveland. Oh and sixteen! Oh and sixteen! Oh and sixteen! Oh and sixteen! Fooooor the city of losing teams, Cleveland. Oh and sixteen! Oh and sixteen! Oh and
The Unbearable Litness of Being Josh Gordon
Missmember
The Internet is a wonderful weird place that has led me down many interesting rabbit holes. I just got out of one thanks to this article in the New Statesman. It's worth a click, but the main gist is that there are certain commonly accepted facts that are, upon review, totally
…But The Tigers Come at Night…
There was a time when I first signed... When the air was warm... And the town inviting... There was a time when love was blind... And Cleveland had a song, And the song was exciting! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJ3plaSowWc There was a time... Then it all went wrong. Editor's note: This post has been in the "drafts" folder for about five weeks now
Prisoner Ninety-One
ALL DEFENDERS First down, first down, They're marching down the field, First down, first down, A touchdown we will yield. JOE HADEN A twelve yard gain, A simple slant and run. ALL DEFENDERS First down, first down, We can't defend the 'gun. EMMANUEL OGBAH A bootleg fake, There's no receiver there. ALL DEFENDERS First down, first down, And now you're tackling air. DANNY SHELTON I shot my gap, And
Beggars at the Feast
♫…When Our Ranks Begin to Fall…♫
The miserable melodrama of the Cleveland Browns season continued on Sunday as starting quarterback Cody Kessler was knocked out of the game with a while trying to one-up Dan Orlovsky by throwing the ball backwards out of his own end zone. His replacement Charlie Whitehurst was also injured shortly thereafter,
♫…But She Never Saw Me There! ♫
♫ …set to the music of “Eponine's Errand” from Les Miserables… ♫ DUKE JOHNSON JR. Such luck! What a bounce! Such luck! Right back to me! So close to a disaster, I stand triumphantly. [sideline flies open] SARAH THOMAS Good God! Oh, what a rumpus! That ball, where can it be? DUKE JOHNSON JR. It's here! Just let me show you, I got it back,
