The (W)Omen (and Halloween Open Thread)

INTERIOR, REPUBLIC RECORDS LOBBY. A DESPONDENT RECORD EXECUTIVE SITS ON A BENCH, WITH A CATHOLIC PRIEST STANDING PRIEST: The relationship...is dead. RECORD EXECUTIVE: No. No, not again. Taylor's fans are rabid, but our research indicates another album of thinly-veiled spite songs will crash her brand. Swifties today want love. They want hope...not

Party On…Forever!

Banner Image from Tenor Interior, a large apartment festooned with festive fall furnishings and frills. Beneath a hastily hoisted Happy Halloween sign there be a bevy of buzzing Barbies beating back beverages to blur their bashfulness. It's a Halloween party, for sure, but while the decor, costumes, and TikTok-inspired scarecuterie boards

The morning of April 28th was cloudy and cold, with a dampness in the air that made it feel much colder than the 40 degrees the forecasters predicted it would be. The people of the village began to gather outside the Auditorium Theatre on Michigan Avenue around ten o’clock. In previous years

A Dark and Foggy Night

It was a dark and stormy night, and with the local all you can eat buffet closed, there was nowhere for Coach to go for another four rounds of prime rib. So he headed to the local convenience store to forage for hand pies. As one does. Not unsurprisingly, the convenience

Tales from the Kicked

Exterior, an old and rickety mansion. Cobwebs cling to crevices that cover creaking corners. Of course, the night is dark and stormy. Lightning cracks through the air, breaking through the darkness to reveal glimpses of prying eyes from fauna and who knows what else.  On the front stoop, a slight

The Devil and Hue Jackson (Part 2)

Part 1 --- "Good morning, Huey Jackson, it's time to rise and grind." The Devil's words come penetratin' into Hue's wrecked mind. So Hue sets down Mike Brown's laundry, cause that's his job these days, In addition to designin' passes for Andy Dalton to throw away. "Wake up, Sunshine!" the Devil laughs. "It's time to break

A BattleBots Beat Halloween Special: Conquering the Reaper

Welcome to a very special BattleBots Beat vignette for Halloween. For your enjoyment, but hopefully not for your pleasure, because eww, we bring you this tale of a plucky underdog doing anything and everything to try and shock the world. We call this story, "Conquering the Reaper."* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89LYj3d1jCw "6… 5… 4… 3…" "Bombshell's

The Trading Card of Josh McCown

Chapter 1: The draft room in Phoenix was filled with the stale odor of cigarettes, Old Spice and cheap liquor, and when the time came to make the call to New York, there came through the room the additional smell of anticipation mixed with fear. Would they finally get it right

The Devil and Hue Jackson (Part 1)

The Devil walked into the Golden Bull on a rainy Oakland night, While the lost souls sat and nursed their CTE in the sickly neon light. And the Devil, he looked around the room at the broken hopes and dreams, He says, "Is there one among you scum who'll coach my sorry team? Dennis

Something Wicked This Way Comes…

This is just a reminder that Halloween is only one week away, and with it, our annual collection of SPOOKY NFL STORIES!  Here are some of the classics from previous years. In 2015, the theme was "Spooky Texans Stories": I WOULD LIKE A SELFIE by WCS In the Dome of Dementia by Pickettscharge Don't Turn on