Request Line: VisionQuest 2020 (Part 4) – Canis Lupus

INT. RECORDING STUDIO - NIGHT The PRODUCER is sitting upright on the couch.  His eyes are red and very bloodshot, but he is seemingly alert.  DJ 3000's camera is slowly flashing as he watching him intently. DJ 3000: [internal monologue] I JUST WISH I COULD SEE WHAT HE'S SEEING. CUT TO: THE PRODUCER'S

Request Line: Radio

INT. RECORDING STUDIO - DAY The PRODUCER lies on his side on the couch, snoring heavily.  He is hugging to his chest a large jar that is half-full of a clear(ish) liquid.  The distillation apparatus he has built has clearly been deemed as "operational".   DJ 3000: [throws a blanket over him] YOU

Request Line: This and That

INT. RECORDING STUDIO - DAY The PRODUCER is puttering around the studio, assembling a Rude Goldberg-looking construction out of various office materials.  He is humming the tune from the Jimmy Buffet song "Coconut Telegraph" to himself.  DJ 3000 sits silently, updating his operating system. DJ 3000: [Configuring update - 35% complete] The PRODUCER

Request Line: The Wrecking Ball

INT. RECORDING STUDIO - DAY We join our regularly scheduled programming already in progress... DREW BREES: ...and then Marques says "that's not a snake, that's Junior Galette's belt!" PRODUCER: Ha ha ha ha ha! DREW: Ha ha ha ha ha! DJ 3000: HA HA HA HA HA! PRODUCER: Great story, Drew.  I have to say, being

Request Line: THREATS

INT.  HOME OFFICE/STUDIO – DAY [An extremely pale yet handsome man sits at his home desk in his underwear, typing on his keyboard, adjusting some knobs to his left and talking into his microphone] LOW COMMANDER: Look, all I'm saying is that it's quarantine. What else does he possibly have to be

Request Line: Potent Potables

INT. RECORDING STUDIO - DAY The PRODUCER sits on the floor of studio, tinkering with a long piece of pipe, a bunch of empty beer bottles, and a hammer.  He loads several of the beer bottles into a cloth grocery bag, and raises the hammer. DJ 3000: SO...WHATCHA DOIN? PRODUCER: The stores won't

Request Line: Indecision

INT. RECORDING STUDIO - DAY The PRODUCER is bustling around the office, humming merrily to himself.  DJ 3000 is in his usual place on the side of the room, the lights on his console blinking slowly but calmly.   DJ 3000: I HAVE TO SAY IT IS REASSURING TO SEE YOU BEHAVING MORE

Request Line: Dude.

INT. RECORDING STUDIO - DAY The PRODUCER sits at the control panel, gazing into the booth with a thousand yard stare.  DJ 3000 is in his usual location against the wall.  The mood is very somber.  The lights on DJ 3000 start to flash with increasingly frequency, and then are joined

Request Line: Misters and Mistresses

INT. RECORDING STUDIO - DAY The studio sits empty.  The PRODUCER is nowhere to be seen.   DJ 3000: [sighs] DJ 3000: [to database] <?php $potential_topics = mysql_query("SELECT topic FROM request_line_database WHERE published = 'false'"); if (!$potential_topics) { echo 'Could not run query: ' . mysql_error(); exit; } $topic_array = best($potential_topics); echo $topic_array[0] ?> DJ 3000: NO, I KNOW HE'S SAVING THAT ONE FOR WHEN HE ACTUALLY HAS HIS SHIT TOGETHER ENOUGH TO INTRODUCE IT PROPERLY. DJ 3000:

Request Line: This Suit Burns Better – Look!

INT. RECORDING STUDIO - DAY The PRODUCER sits in front of his desktop computer, frowning.  He clicks the mouse, clicks it again, the waits for a second.  The screen flashes and he erupts into a litany of curses. DJ 3000: It was pretty obvious they had the queen. PRODUCER: Why were they even