Into the PeriloUs Void – Early Saturday Open Thread

King Hippo - January 6, 2024January 5, 2024

What, did you wake up and hope to see Premiership footy? And then JV NFL?? Too bad, you get nothing. Absolute fuckall. Well, there are FA Cup ties, though the draw was pretty uninspiring (though surely nothing can bottom out as badly as Everton's dreadful nil-nil away to Palace on Thursday, when

The First Manc Derby FA Cup Final – Open Thread

King Hippo - June 3, 2023June 3, 2023

It seems like this would have happened before, probably on multiple occassions. But no - this is the first, and sure to be quite the drunken event. So much so, they moved the kickoff time up like 2.5 hours (10:00, ESPN+). Gots to respect y'all's #PrudeGame, Inglen. Wakey's Red Devils have already won

Nice Jerb, Minnows! Lesser Footy Saturday

King Hippo - March 4, 2023March 3, 2023

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Before we get to the weekend in the Prem, let's acknowledge the upstarts making noise in the FA Cup. Here is how the Flacco Eight break down: Two bullies (Men United; City of Men) Two Prem surprise packages (Trashbirds; Mighty Whitey) THREE Championship sides (Team Knifey; Boo-urnley; Blackburn) One miracle

A Very Wrexham Wrevanchist Morning

King Hippo - January 29, 2023January 29, 2023

As y'all no doubt know, the mighty Wrexham (having made it a round deeper in the FA Cup than Piss Off You're Scaring the Children Everton) host Team Knifey today (11:00, ESPN+). They even were kind enough to schedule it in a West Coast-friendly way. I asked the Clubhouse's #1

FA Cup Saturday! Open(ish) Thread

King Hippo - January 7, 2023January 6, 2023

Life without FITBAW is just terrible, that's why Damar Hamlin asked about the score before his goddamned breathing tube came out. But we get Chefs/Raiders and Tits/Jaguras tonight, so nap accordingly. In the interim, here are the fixtures I find randomly interesting: Gillingham v. Leicester City (7:30, ESPN+) Upset TOTES predicted here. Formerly Foxy

Half-Schedule Weekend – Lesser Footy Open Thread

King Hippo - April 16, 2022April 15, 2022

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This is the part of the Lesser schedule when the cup ties start flying fast and furious, and with MOAR at stake. You saw a truly heroic effort by rockingdog's Chelski squadron mid-week, but the Real Cuntfaces got off the mat and advanced. Kings of Shithousery Atleti (meant mostly as

Saturday Early Lesser Footy y Hoopsball

King Hippo - March 19, 2022March 18, 2022

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There is only one Prem fixture this morning, Arsenal/Villa (8:30, USA). The King's Afrikan Water Pistols are playfully spraying their way into next season's Shempions League, but as they say in Footy Manager speak "there can be no letup." Villa are a pesky lot, so this might be worth a

Into the Wild Weekend of Nothingness

King Hippo - February 5, 2022February 4, 2022

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Good morning, fellow inmates of the imaginary asylum! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7aItpjF5vXc We come back from a week off for the Prem, and there's ONE match. And it's Burnley/Watford (1p, Peacock). BLECH. But lo, we have a shit ton of FA Cup ties. The patented magic started last night, with Boro taking out Men Untied, after

FA Cup Already? FA Cup Already Saturday Open Thread

King Hippo - January 8, 2022January 8, 2022

As I sit thinking up some drivel to write, it came to me that the FA Cup is like British footy's NCAA Tournament. Commentators talk of the magic of the FA Cup - most recently evidenced by Wigan (under future Everton manager Roberto Martinez) winning the whole shebang - in a

The Greatest of Pretend HonoUrs – Lesser Sabado Open Thread

King Hippo - January 23, 2021January 22, 2021

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In the Pretend Year of Our LAWD 2081, I achieved the crowning achievement of my life (Pretend or otherwise). Ground is breaking on 140,000 seat Bernard Gilkey Park. That's right, second new stadium of my long Pretend Man City tenure, and they's naming it after ME. Hey, at least now I can't

Kicking Off the Strangest FA Cup and Wild Card 1 of 6 Bitches! Combo Thread

King Hippo - January 9, 2021January 8, 2021

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Good day, imaginary peoples. It's REALLY here. The day we gets a TRIPLEHEADER of Wild Card, Bitches! action. And it happens again tomorrow! We just needed a world-wide pandemic to make it real. [slaps #NuAIDS on the ass, HARD!] But first, we have a wacky Lesser Morning, with pretty much every match on

27 June Lesser Madness Thread

King Hippo - June 27, 2020June 26, 2020

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Tis a strange schedule. You get one Premiership fixture each day, at bizarre times. Saturday has ONLY the early bird special, which features Euro-curious Wolves away to "just happy to be here" Villa (7:30, NBCSN). I feel like a lunatic setting me alarms for this. But I will. Saints at