Meanwhile, in Pittsburgh

INT. WALTER J. ZALEWSKI FUNERAL HOME - DAY. A large group of people mill about the largest room in the funeral home.  As it is a funeral, the vast majority of them are dressed in black, but many of them are wearing accents of bright yellow as well. FUNERAL DIRECTOR: It's never

Meanwhile, at Spaghetti Camp Headquarters

INT. HOME OFFICE IN EVIL LAIR I MEAN WELL-APPOINTED MANSION - DAY An older man is seated behind a large mahogany desk, his hands idly (and expertly) manipulating an ancient puzzle box while he stares at the ceiling.  The intercom buzzes. MARK DAVIS punches the speaker button. MARK DAVIS: HI I'M MARK DAVIS! JANET:

Meanwhile, Behind 7 Proxies…

INT. CYBER CAFE SOMEWHERE IN SOUTHEAST ASIA - NIGHT A shadowy figure sits behind a terminal, tapping absently at the keys.  He perks up. SHADOWY FIGURE: Well this looks to be interesting... The shadowy figure reaches into a a tattered rucksack at his feet labeled "5CHAN".  He pulls out a pair of wireless

Meanwhile, in Henderson…

INT. EVIL LAIR I MEAN WELL-APPOINTED MANSION - DAY An older man sits in a leather chair in his front parlor.  He is surrounded by a gaggle of reporters. MARK DAVIS: ...AND THEN WE SIGN HIM TO PLAY FOR THE RAIDERS AND THEN WE WIN ALL THE SUPER BOWLS FOREVER. REPORTER 1: Um...well,

That’s My 2021 Raiders! Season Preview

EXT. OAKLAND RAIDERS SHARED HOUSE – DAY Establishing shot and title card. ANNOUNCER BETH MOWINS: The Las Vegas Home for Imaginary Raiders [sic] is filmed in front of a live Alfa Romeo [sic] audience. CUT TO – INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY The music of From Autumn to Ashes blares throughout the house.  KOLTON

A Slapdash Wednesday Evening Open Thread

Apologies for the stuntedness, but real life threw up some obstacles today. Besides, with July 4th on Friday, it doesn't appear anyone at the league is working real hard. NFL News: Kareem Hunt has gone from shoving women to shoving cops. There are claims this was just something between friends that

Meanwhile, in Overland Park…

EXT. SUBURBAN STREET - DAY A very young boy plays by himself with a football on the lawn in front of a nondescript suburban home.  He tosses the ball up in the air as high as he can, then darts underneath to catch it.  As he runs across the lawn, pretending

Meanwhile, in Jupiter…

INT. POLICE STATION FRONT DESK - DAY A weary-looking Hispanic female officer sits behind a divider that separates the police station bullpen from the reception area. --- [door flies open] --- MARK DAVIS: HI I'M MARK DAVIS! OFFICER REYES: Um, hello sir.  How can we help you? MARK: I NEED TO SEE THE CHIEF OF

DFO Insider: Shelved for Retooling

INT. DFO PRODUCTION OFFICE – DAY A pair of sleazy Hollywood producers are hard at work. One - DARKEST TIMELINE ZACK MORRIS - is inspecting his recent manicure, occasionally frowning at imperfections.  The other - RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY - is impatiently peering at a six-pack planter of seedlings. RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: Come on, damn you!  Hurry up