Stadium of Leaves – Nobody’s 2017 Chargers Preview

This is a collaborative post from the sick and horrible minds of Old School Zero and Low Commander of the Super Soldiers. You have been warned. [Up in the owner’s box of the vast, expansive, huge, massive, otherworldly large, Brobdingnagian, 30,000 27,000 seat StubHub Legal Scalping Center, DEAN SPANOS sits alone and looks out over the

Scary NFL Stories: The Experiment

(Scene: a nondescript room with two doors—one far, one near—but no windows, and two tables and chairs. On one table is a large box with a number of switches on it, and cords running out from the back and through the wall, and a small television monitor and speaker on

Commentist Beer Barrel: Hair Of The Dog

Portland has been commodified. It started a while back when all of us super cool and better than you Portlanders talked it up to actual cool people from actual cool cities like NYC and LA and SF and other places that can legitimately go by initials that aren't their airport

First downs for Brady, Tom

OH HAI! I Tommy, I play foots ball! So excitement! Pretty wife put put out clothes, better change! OOO, SLIPPERS YAY!   Now I ready to take bus to stadium, say hai to coach! To TEAM! TO GRONK! Wheels on bus go round and round, psi goes down and down, down and down! WAIT, STOP!

This Week In Fuck You Money

So the Powerball jackpot was something like $500 million for last night's drawing, and while I didn't buy any tickets because I need that money for my krokodil, it did get me thinking a little about the absurd amount of money that would come from winning. After taxes, one would

OSZ Holiday Tabletop Game Giving Guide

Now that we're in the time of year where we put forth our wish lists to bloated old white guys (PLEASE JUST GET OUR TEAM TO A SUPER BOWL YOU RICH FUCK!) and also celebrate the holidays by buying gifts, I got the idea (THANKS SILL!) to put out a