Ben and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance

Stuck-up bitches. That's what I want to talk about today. Back on our trip down to Milledgeville you'll remember I talked about how formal scientific method could be applied to the process of getting some skank to shine your knob through the study of chains of cause and effect and the

Start Or Sit (On Your Face): The DFO Fantasy/Sex Mailbag

Halloween! A time where we actively permit children to work towards developing juvenile diabetes and/or lifelong psychological trauma, while we get inappropriately drunk and develop some incredibly fucked-up fetishes from costumes that were never intended to be sexy, but still somehow are. Also, Satanists or something. I dunno. At any

The First Real Open Thread of the Season!

Holy crap, it's here.  We have ACTUAL, COUNTING FOOTBALL for the first time in roughly 10 quatrillion years.  We've been subjected to preseason football, Ballghazi, Spygate Redux, The assorted ongoing [*Redacted] s debacle, the goddamned Patriots being your returning champions, the preseason knee apocalypses of Jordy Nelson and Kelvin Benjamin, thousands