A Selection Of Phrases From Recent Posts That Would Make Good Line Items In Trump’s 2019 Budget

A deadly, destructive beam Being an international disgrace A good sized vessel to marinate your meat in Upper class twits Silly DC Russians Notoriously poor bookkeepers Porn girls Cookies in your gravy The collapse of the NFL More badass and German Dick measuring contests Repeat past mistakes A coup so to speak Just because Vegas Cybernetic right hand Gender & religious discrimination Genial shark-toothed smiles PFT's comments Looking

A Selection Of Phrases From Recent Posts That Would Make Good Headings In A Preview Of The 2016 Philadelphia Eagles

Welcome to DFO's preview of the 2016 Philadelphia Eagles, which should be as long, frustrating, and hackneyed as the team's season itself. With that kind of experience awaiting us, perhaps it's best we just get started and get this done with a minimum of fuss.   The 2016 Eagles were assembled by

A Selekshun Uff Phrases From Recent Posts Zat Vould Make Goot Werner Herzog Moofie Titles

My Pitiful Human Experience The Familial History of Schizophrenia Your Absent Stepfather Lost To Iceland This Wonder Site of Dreams and Wishes Roving Packs of Ham Beasts The Dark Blood Ritual of Penance God's Ongoing Quest To Drive Me Insane The Last Time We Had To Suffer Tormenting My Dreams With His Insipid Chant The Most Existing Thing Kroenke's Mustache An Independent

Your Friday The 13th Open Thread

Today I bring you an open thread from the future, where it is already Friday the 13th in DFO's Adelaide bureau, but only the waning hours of the 12th in our Wichita headquarters. I can report that nothing unlucky has happened yet, but based on my understanding of theoretical physics, there's

Theatre Review: Ho Ho Horrendous

An unavoidable part of every critic’s job is sitting through the bad as well as the good. It is simply a hazard of the profession. However, enduring “Christmastime Is Here” as staged by Miss Othmar’s class at St. Paul Elementary School is a sacrifice not to be asked of anyone.

The Tale of The Texan

A few years ago, on Halloween night, a lovely young lady consented to accompany me on a date. HEY, COME BACK, THAT'S NOT THE SCARY PART! After a romantic dinner at Sizzler, we drove to Lovers’ Lane so I could work off that five slices of cheese toast. It was at a

The DFO Interview: Scott Hanson

“Honey, where’s my pajama pants with the little helmets on them?” I’m catching up with Scott Hanson at home as he gets ready for another Sunday behind the desk. “Yeah, I wear pajama pants at work. I’m behind that desk for 7 hours, so I want to be comfortable.” Hanson is the wildly

A Selection Of Phrases From Recent Posts That Would Make Good Excerpts From Snooty Wine Tasting Notes

"...arbitrary and sanctimonius..." "...a long way down from the unrelenting quality of..." "...this two-year vet that's just aching to blossom..." "...its transient, opaque identity..." "...the juggernaut that was the 1994..." "...sometimes, geography was the science..." "...dark, foreboding, and imposing..." "...ranked really, really, high, and I can't quite figure out why..." "...scorched brussels sprouts..." "...outright olfactory torture..." "...the final round brought

A Selection Of Phrases From Recent Posts That Would Make Good Snippets Overheard Outside A Particularly Heated Marriage Counseling Session

“…will wake up one morning, realize he’s a piece of shit…” “…more or less straight man…” “…smells like a Moroccan spice market…” “…lightly sniffling in foetal position in empty bathtub.” “…and shows no desire to do anything about it, with technology or otherwise.” “…already sick of me after 15 years…” “…can go bonkers at times, even