As this site is picking up steam, it’s easy to let things fall through the cracks. So whip out that caulk and fill those gaps.
Ravens – The Ravens have denied reports that they were the ones who tipped off the Colts who in turn tipped off the NFL execs about the Pats tampering with the balls after officials inspect them. Adding more fuel to the burning rage of Pats fans’ theory of “The Great Ram Conspiracy”. See the Colts intercepted the ball and deflated it more before handing the ball to game officials. Why? Because the current Colts GM, Ryan Grigson worked for the Rams and was still sore from when the Pats beat them in the Super Bowl. The under-inflated football than gave the Ex-Jets and current NFL execs Mike Kensil and Rodger Goodell the ammunition needed to strike hard and further punish the Patriots for their role during Spygate.
Meh – Arian Foster hurt his groin badly enough to require surgery and will miss the beginning of the season. This surgery will surely mess up everyone’s Fantasy Football auto-draft settings and has led to stalled negotiations with Pierre Thomas.
Bills – O-Line Coach Aaron Kromer has been suspended for the first six games of the season after punching a 12 yr old over beach chairs. I mean who hasn’t thought about this from time to time. However, that’s the least of their worries as their GM Doug Whaley has come out and said that they are almost in QB Purgatory.
Meh II – Star Defensive lineman Jadevon Clowney’s father has been arrested for attempted murder after allegedly firing a gun outside a strip club in Rock Hill, South Carolina. Which I am sure was filled with young University of Charlotte undergrads who were only dancing, so they could pay for college.
49ers- Have parted ways with veteran CB Chris Cook who was reported to have said “You can’t cut me! I retire!”
Meh III – Everyone’s favorite nice guy J.J. “Red State Gronk” Watt played nice with new Houston Meh’s D-Line man Vince Wilfolk by surprising his daughter to help her adjustment to the move. On the flip side while you read this Gronk Gronk has just slept with your sister.
NFL – Now that Ballghazi is all but a dream the league is wondering how the Ginger Hammer will handle the newest locker room distraction… Game of Thrones Spoilers.
Via Google, NFL.COM AND I SWEAR I’M TRYING TO GET BETTER AT FULLY SOURCING
/Edited for clarity and poor grammar
Phil McCracken, an American visual artist, would like a word.
“Wait, I show up and you actually want me to move furniture? That’s not what happens in the movies…”
– JJ
With all those strippers working their way through college I’m surprised they’re not happier when I throw used textbooks at them. I’m really just cutting out the middle man when you think about it.
How do you know what their major is?
Your stupid law books aren’t going to help a nuclear physicist.
Apologies for all grammar flubs. I rushed this during lunch.
I was wondering why the teams were so possessive.
I’ll be honest, Im moar of teller than speller (blame undiagnosed dyslexia and apathetic public school teachers). I am working on this (should have seen my writing 3 years ago). So any advice, tips, or good online training courses is always welcome.
BTW everyone if I am reaching Kurp/Dustin/Sugar level of dread here please let me know.
Duchess’d!
You’re good. I think of the 370 people who have the ability to edit, one of us can clean it up after the fact if necessary. I hope people do that for me, as I am the king of not caring enough to proof before I post.
You did a great job. Don’t go hard on yourself (phrasing!)
Apparently, I read a tweet this morning that said Gronk hasn’t spent a dime of his football money and only lives off his endorsement money. If true, that is one SMART Big Dumb Football Sex Idiot
Umm… that was actually a PK nugget from before his vacation.
So you’ve got some second-hand freeze-dried PK turds rattling around in your brainpan.
Well then Adam Shefter is a worse “journalist” than I thought.
Oh, I’m not trying to be hard (it just happens) but I am self aware.
Yes, a *certain* website posted a sarcastic article about that after what-his-name reported it.
“Did someone say crack?”
http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s–XqSXgo-p–/c_fit,fl_progressive,q_80,w_636/196reggwtj403gif.gif
Snitches get Stitches – Rey Rey
With Foster out, how many times will Berman yell “You’re my boy, Blue” during the highlights of the Meh games?
/Once will be too many.
Joke’s on Gronk, that was me, dressed up like my sister.
Damn, I knew Gronk juice was strong, but the Doctor says my sister’s already 4 months pregnant. Better not tell her husband.
I think the undersized penis gave you away.
The last guy that “meh’d” Clowney’s dad played Dodgebullet.