July 2 morning Open Thread

Man, everyone must really be enjoying the holidays weekend!

There is Germany-Italy and a shitload of WW2 jokes on tap today.  Also,  I expect random gifs, near-naked girls,  and beer talk.

YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO!

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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Senor Weaselo

Wheee only had to teach three lessons today. But now I have a concert to play. Outdoors.

O/U on perverse fetishes the Germany coach has?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

68

King Hippo

ALL

Fronkenshteen

Is it safe to say that Italy would rather get this to penalty kicks, while Germany would rather not?

Horatio Cornblower

Overall the Germans have been very passive.

Which is not a sentence one gets to write all that often.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Except in German porn (males).

A German bails out an Italian, how typical.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

At the Gustav Line?

King Hippo

/usually NAWT black, though

Fronkenshteen

GET YER KNEE OVER THE MEATBALL!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Solid defense by Germany. I haven’t seen an Italian’s clumsy attempts to score get shut down so unceremoniously since that time Alberto Tomba sent those flowers to Katerina Witt.

Horatio Cornblower
Senor Weaselo

Counter point: Half of me.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The German fans are all smiles and sunshine after that one.

herodotus450

Those Germans do love a bit of SS dont they?

I haven’t seen Germans crush an Italian lines like this since the Visigoths sacked Rome.

476 and all that.

Fronkenshteen

comment image

On a scale of 1-10 in terms of Euro-trashiness, rate each team’s coach’s wardrobe.

The Italian coach looks predictably spiffy and rates a 7-8.

The German coach looks like he could be a dancer on Sprockets
http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/2012/12/sprockets.gif

King Hippo

That is not a nun’s laugh. That is a WHORE’s laugh!

WEIRD NUN. WEIRD NUN.

MikeWallaceAndGromit

The last time Germany and Italy got together in France, it was with the goal of world domination. Today? No goals at all. How times change.

Wakezilla

Good afternoon everyone. How’s everyone doing?

Anyone watch the Sydney/Western game last night? That was bananas

Horatio Cornblower

Why do the Italians not have stars on their shirts? They’ve won four World Cups, they should have four.

Horatio Cornblower

After researching this it seems they have the four stars contained within the flag emblem on their shirts.

Horatio Cornblower

The French crowd seems to favor Germany more than Italy. Is the game being played in Vichy?

Fronkenshteen

I guess I want Germany to score first and force the Italians to attack. In soccer. Not the 1930s.

Doktor Zymm

I think I’ve decided to use my air miles to go to the Seychelles in March. TAKE THAT, NEXT OFFSEASON!

...

You can dip your toes in the Indian Ocean!

Horatio Cornblower

I swam in the Indian Ocean off of South Africa. It is my favorite of the three oceans.

/refuses to acknowledge Arctic and Antarctic Oceans until they warm the fuck up.

...

Strangely, the Indian Ocean was the first ocean I ever swam in. (In India)

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Also there is no such thing as the “Antarctic Ocean”.

Horatio Cornblower

Well there SHOULD be.

Senor Weaselo

Hot taeks about the Southern/Antarctic Ocean, IT HAS BEGUN!

Wakezilla

I wouldn’t do that as it’s just too spicy for my liking

...

Did the entire world make a pact to call the Deutschers anything but their actually name? I can’t explain why else every other language has its own word to identify them.

SPQR vs. Deustchland Uber Alles

Covalent Blonde

Shit, I am late. Quick dash off to the grocer for essential ingredients… and yes, more than just Cheerios, jerkface!
http://images.firstwefeast.com/complex/image/upload/gif_Good-Humor-Ice-Cream_Good-Humor-Ice-Cream0247_opxwji.gif

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yes, I’m quite certain that the Frosted Flakes will fill the void.
Jerkface? Someone needs to take a deep breath and think logically and critically. Thank GOD the Honey Nut Cheerios might have provided some much needed glucose for doing exactly that. Plus you pretty much can’t burn them beyond recognition, so bonus for you.
http://imagesmtv-a.akamaihd.net/uri/mgid:file:http:shared:mtv.com/news/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/wilde-1427893487.gif

laserguru

Hey Fronkenshteen, I left a reply to your chile verde question at the bottom of your comment.
A better use for the tenderloin, apart from the Iowa pork tenderloin sandwich I posted is either grill or roast your tenderloin.
Use a 2-1 ratio of balsamic vinegar and olive oil, a few cloves of minced garlic, some sprigs of fresh thyme and marinate in the fridge for about an hour. Let the loin come to temp and cook in a 350 oven for about 40 minutes, while basting with the pan juices a few times during cooking.

Or put on the grill at medium heat and turn every few minutes until done. About 20 minutes or so on the grill.

You can also do a mustard and garlic rub with some fresh rosemary and follow the same cooking techniques.

I love a good tenderloin.

Fronkenshteen

Thanks a million. There’s our Monday menu. I’m gonna make that chile verde soon, too.

Doktor Zymm

I think I just finished all my exercise for the weekend. Time to drink and video game!

King Hippo

Is “video games” code for teh sex act, like that Lana Del Rey song? Or was that the “exercise” reference?

Either way….soooooo jelly.

Horatio Cornblower

Just spent way too much on 2 pair of new hiking boots an now sitting down to Pepe’s famous white clam (snicker) pizza.

HOW THE FUCK YOU DOIN’ BOYS!?

Covalent Blonde

Oo! Oo! What kinda shoes? What kinda shoes? La Sportivas in honor of today’s match?

Horatio Cornblower

These. Got them at EMS for $135. I have another pair for winter hiking but my regular boots had given up the ghost after several years of faithful service.

https://www.amazon.com/Targhee-II-Hiking-Shitake-Brindle/dp/B008J5F7ME?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B000HZYWDY&linkCode=as2&redirect=true&ref_=as_li_tf_tl&tag=bestprodtag35306-20

Doktor Zymm

What a coincidence! I just spent way too much on a new tennis racket and was thinking of ordering pizza!

herodotus450

Babolat or get-the-fuck-ot
/sort of rhymes.

Doktor Zymm

The racket I’m using now is a Babolat, and I really like it. The one I just bought is a Prince, it’s more of a power racket than my current one. I’m just realizing now I can totally make some jokes about a bigger racket head and deep balls.

herodotus450

No matter how big the head is, I can never find the sweet spot. I’m getting a vague sense of deja vu all over again.

...

Phrasing?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Serpentine Babolat!!!!!
Come on…nobody? Fuck you, that’s funny.
(don’t leave me hanging Hippo)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPaXG0oEInY

herodotus450

Germany vs. Italy eh? In soccer, eh?
Can Germany re-blitz France before the end of the match and press Zinedine Zidane into service?

herodotus450

$50 follow up:
I like extra Zinedine in my Tequila Sunrises, but not the artificial stuff.

Fronkenshteen

Is Yeah Right aboard? I have a Sunday Gravy question.

Covalent Blonde

Ha! Nice try! I have it this week! Get ready for some looooooooow expectations!

Covalent Blonde

“Something something, granddaughter being born, something something, busy holiday weekend.” Not abroad, just wanting to make you all appreciate his work by leaving you to my incompetence.

theeWeeBabySeamus

You gotta be shitting me.
FFS, I already know how to make Cheerios.
What a fucking disaster.

Covalent Blonde

I will stab you through your right renal artery just to make sure I have those few extra seconds to watch you exsanguinate.

And for the record, I make kick ass Cheerios!

theeWeeBabySeamus

yeah right is about to get a VERY angry email about his staff mouthing off to the customers.
That’s all I’m saying.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey, all I know is yeah right is about to receive a VERY strongly worded email about his staff getting mouthy with the customers.

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK weird. WP told me the first response didn’t post. But it’s OK because I’M TOTALLY MAD ENOUGH FOR TWO ANGRY EMAILS.
(heh yeah….you’re in trouble now missy…CHEERIOS???? grumble grumble, I’ll show YOU cheerios)

Fronkenshteen

It’s actually the chile verde recipe from two weeks ago. My mother-in-law always brings us pork loin, so we were going to make it with that. But pork loin has substantially less fat content than the butt he used. Do I need that fat? If so, what do I use as replacement? Just toss in some bacon? Cheers!

laserguru

You could use bacon but it wouldn’t be the right consistency when done. The whole thing about the chile verde is the fatty gelatinous element when the pork is finally cooked and at the fall apart stage. The loin would be a little too lean and possibly a little tough.

I would use the pork loin for another application and go with the pork butt.

You could always save the pork loin for one of these bad boys…
http://www.seriouseats.com/images/2015/01/20150120-breaded-pork-tenderloin-sandwich-titus-ruscitti-9-nicks-kitchen.jpg

theeWeeBabySeamus

Just the guy I need to talk to…..

Covalent Blonde

Than again, Italy does have El Shaarawy…
http://sport-xl.org/uploads/posts/2014-09/thumbs/1410007296_imago12954880h.jpg
Which means they harness the power of the mighty turaco, so perhaps they remain a force to be reckoned with?
http://www.ejphoto.com/images_AZ/AZ_WhiteCheekedTuraco02.jpg

Covalent Blonde

My allegiances are fairly conflicted. Since Poland is out, my loyalties are up for grabs, and while every logical part of me says that I should root with the Italians, fuck them.

Viel glück, Deutschland!

...

Despite having spent nearly a month rich with personal experiences, I’ll always associate Italy with this:

http://www.theonion.com/graphic/silvio-berlusconi-gets-penis-stuck-in-wine-bottle–19709

Don T

I think they’re the best two teams left. The managers are equally intense but couldn’t be more different. Löw is super “been there already”, stylish, and unselfconsciously gross. He apologized for sniffing his balls mid game and brushed aside as “cold coffee” Italy’s unbeaten streak–then took a sip of expreso.
Antonio Conte is a fucking maniac who’s demanding as hell, asks waiters which players are having late-night munchies (and what are they eating), and is Al Davis level paranoid about practices and the press.
I take Italy. Their tyrants are hella likable.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7GBXp6lVUlQ

Don T
Covalent Blonde

Bwahaha! Forever in my mind that is a new “type” of dude!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah…and?

Covalent Blonde

I’m with Balls. She gives off a vibe. That’s the kind of crazy that sets your car on fire because you forgot to take your clothes out of the dryer before going to bed.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah…and?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh I totally agree. Chick’s way batshit.

...

And yet… still would.

theeWeeBabySeamus

THANK YOU!!!!!!

...

I generally run from crazy women, but a few seem to have the ability to get past my defenses. She’s one. The other–and I know I’d regret this one–is Lindsay Lohan.

Covalent Blonde

BOOOOOO

theeWeeBabySeamus

You shut up.
And also, ICRM, you might want to steer clear of the Lohan. There’s crazy…and then there’s crazy.

Covalent Blonde

I would much rather be with a woman who can use her crazy for unthinkable sexual positions, not how to electrocute when me I am taking a shower

theeWeeBabySeamus

It’s a sliding scale. Sometimes you gotta take the bad with the good.

King Hippo

In her defense, that kind of laundry dereliction pisses Hippo off, too.

theeWeeBabySeamus

AGAIN…THANK YOU!!!!!
(all these judgemental types, right? Hot insane girls need love too)

theeWeeBabySeamus

I have never banged a nazi.
Also, I am impressed with your memory.
And one insane Australian nazi will not define me.

Covalent Blonde

Pretty sure that’s EXACTLY how one gets defined.

theeWeeBabySeamus

You better just stop talking.

Bcuz you really don’t realize how much shit you might be stirring up right now.

...

From what I’ve heard, she’s basically a human batting donut when it comes to MLB players.

Spanky Datass

I’m just here for the scheisse pr0n.
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

That’s one way to spike the Google search results

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So I’ve fooled around with a few German girls (one was a gymnast!) and gotten nowhere with Italians (closest I got was spending the whole night talking about Jeff Buckley with some girl in Dublin and then nada) so it’s a pretty easy call as to who I will be rooting for.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I would always be fearful that the German girl would move in uninvited and annex all of my shit. Aside from that, I’m sure it would lovely.

King Hippo

Plus, I figure the body hair would be about equal.

laserguru

I dated an Italian girl and she was fun but she kind of lived in her own orbit and I decided she was a little too much of an enigma and she definitely had too much family and fuck Jersey anyway.

Then I moved to San Diego.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I really enjoyed the lingering clouds this morning, sleeping in, and the ham, gruyere, grilled onion, and tomato omelette I had for breakfast. I am going to really enjoy this nice lazy Saturday.

ALXMAC

I had to google “gruyere” but now I’m jelly.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wait, you don’t know about gruyere? Dude, you gotta get some.

laserguru

He speaks the truth.
I make a gratin potato recipe that just wouldn’t be nearly as glorious without gruyere.
Yes, I have a recipe.

Covalent Blonde

I go through pounds of gruyere when my pear is fruit laden. I love that pairing.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Had to read that twice. Thought you said something totally different there at first.

ALXMAC

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ALXMAC

Woo woooo wooo. Just b/c tWBS gives equal time doesn’t mean you have to.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Translation…he has just as much latent homosexuality as I do.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Fronkenshteen

Day off!!!!!!!!!

[raises fist in triumph]

[pulls four back muscles]

theeWeeBabySeamus

Shit, I gotta go to the booze store.
I forgot how much work it took to drink heavily.

ALXMAC

Welcome back to the club.

laserguru

In honor of this game and the occasion and our glorious countries, today I will be!

Grilling carne asada and sipping beers and margaritas.

Vercellae or Teutoberg Wald?

laserguru

Schnitzel or fettuccine?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

“YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO!”

Fix the cable?

...

I’d Brandenburg her gate, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

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