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Man, everyone must really be enjoying the holidays weekend!
There is Germany-Italy and a shitload of WW2 jokes on tap today. Also, I expect random gifs, near-naked girls, and beer talk.
YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO!
July 2 morning Open Thread
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434 Comments
Wheee only had to teach three lessons today. But now I have a concert to play. Outdoors.
O/U on perverse fetishes the Germany coach has?
68
ALL
Is it safe to say that Italy would rather get this to penalty kicks, while Germany would rather not?
Overall the Germans have been very passive.
Which is not a sentence one gets to write all that often.
Except in German porn (males).
A German bails out an Italian, how typical.
At the Gustav Line?
/usually NAWT black, though
GET YER KNEE OVER THE MEATBALL!!
Solid defense by Germany. I haven’t seen an Italian’s clumsy attempts to score get shut down so unceremoniously since that time Alberto Tomba sent those flowers to Katerina Witt.
To be fair…
Holy shit she still looks amazing!
Counter point: Half of me.
The German fans are all smiles and sunshine after that one.
Those Germans do love a bit of SS dont they?
I haven’t seen Germans crush an Italian lines like this since the Visigoths sacked Rome.
476 and all that.
On a scale of 1-10 in terms of Euro-trashiness, rate each team’s coach’s wardrobe.
The Italian coach looks predictably spiffy and rates a 7-8.
The German coach looks like he could be a dancer on Sprockets
http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/2012/12/sprockets.gif
That is not a nun’s laugh. That is a WHORE’s laugh!
WEIRD NUN. WEIRD NUN.
The last time Germany and Italy got together in France, it was with the goal of world domination. Today? No goals at all. How times change.
Good afternoon everyone. How’s everyone doing?
Anyone watch the Sydney/Western game last night? That was bananas
Awesome finish!
Why do the Italians not have stars on their shirts? They’ve won four World Cups, they should have four.
After researching this it seems they have the four stars contained within the flag emblem on their shirts.
The French crowd seems to favor Germany more than Italy. Is the game being played in Vichy?
I guess I want Germany to score first and force the Italians to attack. In soccer. Not the 1930s.
I think I’ve decided to use my air miles to go to the Seychelles in March. TAKE THAT, NEXT OFFSEASON!
You can dip your toes in the Indian Ocean!
I swam in the Indian Ocean off of South Africa. It is my favorite of the three oceans.
/refuses to acknowledge Arctic and Antarctic Oceans until they warm the fuck up.
Strangely, the Indian Ocean was the first ocean I ever swam in. (In India)
Also there is no such thing as the “Antarctic Ocean”.
Well there SHOULD be.
Hot taeks about the Southern/Antarctic Ocean, IT HAS BEGUN!
I wouldn’t do that as it’s just too spicy for my liking
Nice choice!
Did the entire world make a pact to call the Deutschers anything but their actually name? I can’t explain why else every other language has its own word to identify them.
SPQR vs. Deustchland Uber Alles
Shit, I am late. Quick dash off to the grocer for essential ingredients… and yes, more than just Cheerios, jerkface!
http://images.firstwefeast.com/complex/image/upload/gif_Good-Humor-Ice-Cream_Good-Humor-Ice-Cream0247_opxwji.gif
Yes, I’m quite certain that the Frosted Flakes will fill the void.
Jerkface? Someone needs to take a deep breath and think logically and critically. Thank GOD the Honey Nut Cheerios might have provided some much needed glucose for doing exactly that. Plus you pretty much can’t burn them beyond recognition, so bonus for you.
http://imagesmtv-a.akamaihd.net/uri/mgid:file:http:shared:mtv.com/news/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/wilde-1427893487.gif
Hey Fronkenshteen, I left a reply to your chile verde question at the bottom of your comment.
A better use for the tenderloin, apart from the Iowa pork tenderloin sandwich I posted is either grill or roast your tenderloin.
Use a 2-1 ratio of balsamic vinegar and olive oil, a few cloves of minced garlic, some sprigs of fresh thyme and marinate in the fridge for about an hour. Let the loin come to temp and cook in a 350 oven for about 40 minutes, while basting with the pan juices a few times during cooking.
Or put on the grill at medium heat and turn every few minutes until done. About 20 minutes or so on the grill.
You can also do a mustard and garlic rub with some fresh rosemary and follow the same cooking techniques.
I love a good tenderloin.
Thanks a million. There’s our Monday menu. I’m gonna make that chile verde soon, too.
I think I just finished all my exercise for the weekend. Time to drink and video game!
Is “video games” code for teh sex act, like that Lana Del Rey song? Or was that the “exercise” reference?
Either way….soooooo jelly.
Just spent way too much on 2 pair of new hiking boots an now sitting down to Pepe’s famous white clam (snicker) pizza.
HOW THE FUCK YOU DOIN’ BOYS!?
Oo! Oo! What kinda shoes? What kinda shoes? La Sportivas in honor of today’s match?
These. Got them at EMS for $135. I have another pair for winter hiking but my regular boots had given up the ghost after several years of faithful service.
What a coincidence! I just spent way too much on a new tennis racket and was thinking of ordering pizza!
Babolat or get-the-fuck-ot
/sort of rhymes.
The racket I’m using now is a Babolat, and I really like it. The one I just bought is a Prince, it’s more of a power racket than my current one. I’m just realizing now I can totally make some jokes about a bigger racket head and deep balls.
No matter how big the head is, I can never find the sweet spot. I’m getting a vague sense of deja vu all over again.
Phrasing?
Serpentine Babolat!!!!!
Come on…nobody? Fuck you, that’s funny.
(don’t leave me hanging Hippo)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPaXG0oEInY
Germany vs. Italy eh? In soccer, eh?
Can Germany re-blitz France before the end of the match and press Zinedine Zidane into service?
$50 follow up:
I like extra Zinedine in my Tequila Sunrises, but not the artificial stuff.
Is Yeah Right aboard? I have a Sunday Gravy question.
Ha! Nice try! I have it this week! Get ready for some looooooooow expectations!
“Something something, granddaughter being born, something something, busy holiday weekend.” Not abroad, just wanting to make you all appreciate his work by leaving you to my incompetence.
You gotta be shitting me.
FFS, I already know how to make Cheerios.
What a fucking disaster.
I will stab you through your right renal artery just to make sure I have those few extra seconds to watch you exsanguinate.
And for the record, I make kick ass Cheerios!
yeah right is about to get a VERY angry email about his staff mouthing off to the customers.
That’s all I’m saying.
Hey, all I know is yeah right is about to receive a VERY strongly worded email about his staff getting mouthy with the customers.
OK weird. WP told me the first response didn’t post. But it’s OK because I’M TOTALLY MAD ENOUGH FOR TWO ANGRY EMAILS.
(heh yeah….you’re in trouble now missy…CHEERIOS???? grumble grumble, I’ll show YOU cheerios)
It’s actually the chile verde recipe from two weeks ago. My mother-in-law always brings us pork loin, so we were going to make it with that. But pork loin has substantially less fat content than the butt he used. Do I need that fat? If so, what do I use as replacement? Just toss in some bacon? Cheers!
You could use bacon but it wouldn’t be the right consistency when done. The whole thing about the chile verde is the fatty gelatinous element when the pork is finally cooked and at the fall apart stage. The loin would be a little too lean and possibly a little tough.
I would use the pork loin for another application and go with the pork butt.
You could always save the pork loin for one of these bad boys…
http://www.seriouseats.com/images/2015/01/20150120-breaded-pork-tenderloin-sandwich-titus-ruscitti-9-nicks-kitchen.jpg
Just the guy I need to talk to…..
Than again, Italy does have El Shaarawy…
http://sport-xl.org/uploads/posts/2014-09/thumbs/1410007296_imago12954880h.jpg
Which means they harness the power of the mighty turaco, so perhaps they remain a force to be reckoned with?
http://www.ejphoto.com/images_AZ/AZ_WhiteCheekedTuraco02.jpg
My allegiances are fairly conflicted. Since Poland is out, my loyalties are up for grabs, and while every logical part of me says that I should root with the Italians, fuck them.
Viel glück, Deutschland!
Despite having spent nearly a month rich with personal experiences, I’ll always associate Italy with this:
http://www.theonion.com/graphic/silvio-berlusconi-gets-penis-stuck-in-wine-bottle–19709
I think they’re the best two teams left. The managers are equally intense but couldn’t be more different. Löw is super “been there already”, stylish, and unselfconsciously gross. He apologized for sniffing his balls mid game and brushed aside as “cold coffee” Italy’s unbeaten streak–then took a sip of expreso.
Antonio Conte is a fucking maniac who’s demanding as hell, asks waiters which players are having late-night munchies (and what are they eating), and is Al Davis level paranoid about practices and the press.
I take Italy. Their tyrants are hella likable.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7GBXp6lVUlQ
Shit! This one:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZWDTtsLd3J8
Low looks like kind of guy that wants to turn a regular dinner party into a key party.
Bwahaha! Forever in my mind that is a new “type” of dude!
Pro tip : Do NOT GIS “German scheisse video”!
I stood maybe ten feet away from her once. She has a gnarly ankle tattoo. Something told me she would be insane.
Yeah…and?
I’m with Balls. She gives off a vibe. That’s the kind of crazy that sets your car on fire because you forgot to take your clothes out of the dryer before going to bed.
Yeah…and?
I’d rather have a girl I can fuck and have a laugh with. Even in my fantasies. She looks like she would be continuously pissed at me for using her toilet wrong.
Oh I totally agree. Chick’s way batshit.
And yet… still would.
THANK YOU!!!!!!
I generally run from crazy women, but a few seem to have the ability to get past my defenses. She’s one. The other–and I know I’d regret this one–is Lindsay Lohan.
BOOOOOO
You shut up.
And also, ICRM, you might want to steer clear of the Lohan. There’s crazy…and then there’s crazy.
I would much rather be with a woman who can use her crazy for unthinkable sexual positions, not how to electrocute when me I am taking a shower
It’s a sliding scale. Sometimes you gotta take the bad with the good.
In her defense, that kind of laundry dereliction pisses Hippo off, too.
AGAIN…THANK YOU!!!!!
(all these judgemental types, right? Hot insane girls need love too)
Spoken like a man that’s banged a nazi.
I have never banged a nazi.
Also, I am impressed with your memory.
And one insane Australian nazi will not define me.
Pretty sure that’s EXACTLY how one gets defined.
You better just stop talking.
Bcuz you really don’t realize how much shit you might be stirring up right now.
From what I’ve heard, she’s basically a human batting donut when it comes to MLB players.
This is true.
I’m just here for the scheisse pr0n.
That’s one way to spike the Google search results
So I’ve fooled around with a few German girls (one was a gymnast!) and gotten nowhere with Italians (closest I got was spending the whole night talking about Jeff Buckley with some girl in Dublin and then nada) so it’s a pretty easy call as to who I will be rooting for.
Contrary to popular perception, German girls are super cool and down to earth. Italian girls tend to be high-maintenance and stuck-up.
I would always be fearful that the German girl would move in uninvited and annex all of my shit. Aside from that, I’m sure it would lovely.
Plus, I figure the body hair would be about equal.
I dated an Italian girl and she was fun but she kind of lived in her own orbit and I decided she was a little too much of an enigma and she definitely had too much family and fuck Jersey anyway.
Then I moved to San Diego.
This is a perfect description of an Italian girl.
I really enjoyed the lingering clouds this morning, sleeping in, and the ham, gruyere, grilled onion, and tomato omelette I had for breakfast. I am going to really enjoy this nice lazy Saturday.
I had to google “gruyere” but now I’m jelly.
Wait, you don’t know about gruyere? Dude, you gotta get some.
He speaks the truth.
I make a gratin potato recipe that just wouldn’t be nearly as glorious without gruyere.
Yes, I have a recipe.
I go through pounds of gruyere when my pear is fruit laden. I love that pairing.
Had to read that twice. Thought you said something totally different there at first.
Woo woooo wooo. Just b/c tWBS gives equal time doesn’t mean you have to.
Well, I like to be fair. Plus, the Rocky quote was too funny to pass up.
Translation…he has just as much latent homosexuality as I do.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Day off!!!!!!!!!
[raises fist in triumph]
[pulls four back muscles]
Shit, I gotta go to the booze store.
I forgot how much work it took to drink heavily.
Welcome back to the club.
In honor of this game and the occasion and our glorious countries, today I will be!
Grilling carne asada and sipping beers and margaritas.
Vercellae or Teutoberg Wald?
Schnitzel or fettuccine?
“YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO!”
Fix the cable?
I’d Brandenburg her gate, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
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