Balls’ Day Out: The Grand Tour taping

I made reference to this a while back, but, now that the show has aired, I can finally provide a behind-the-scenes look at what it was like to attend the taping of the first-ever episode of

I will start off by telling you that there will be few, if any, pictures of the actual taping as all cameras and CELL PHONES were banned.  Let’s begin at the beginning, though.

I am an Amazon Prime customer. I wasn’t always.  The reason I got it was this show.  I’d been a YUUUGE fan of Top Gear when these three were the presenters and I was damned if I was going to miss their new show.  Besides, free two-day shipping on certain products is quite handy.

Anyhoo, I received an email from Amazon inviting me to apply for tickets.  I figured the chances were less than that of the Browns winning the Superb Owl within my lifetime, but what the fuck let’s give it a shot.  The questions were fairly straightforward and I tried to be as funny as possible when they asked the essay-like, “Why do you want to attend?”

My response had something to do with wanting to find out if Richard Hammond was shorter than me.

Turns out he is.

After I hit submit, I received an email telling me that I may receive a phone call in the next three days as a follow-up.  This sort of pissed me off because I’m one of those people that doesn’t pick up the phone unless it’s a number I recognize.  That would mean that I would have to deal with fucking marketers while I was (in vain?) waiting for the Grand Tour person.

Luckily, I received a call fairly quickly. The lady was British (as is, I would find out later, almost everyone involved in this show) and asked me some questions which were meant to see if I was a real fan.  How long have you been watching the old show?  What was your favorite episode?  What did you like most about the old show?  Do you trust the guys for car advice?

This last one is probably the one that got me in as I answered that I got my current car because of what Jeremy said about it.

Not my actual car.
Not my actual car. Like tWBS’ favorite porn, it’s black on black.

She said thank you for my time and to watch my email in the next week or so.  That sounded promising.  She didn’t say I was in, but why would I watch my email, right?  So, I waited.  And waited.  After the week had passed and I had pretty much given up on getting the tickets, I got the email telling me I was in.  It gave me a date, a time, a place, and a whole list of restrictions.

Obviously, cameras and cell phones were not allowed, but it was also interesting that they asked everyone to wear tv-friendly clothing:  No white shirts, no crazy patterns, no visible brand logos, etc. That’s not a problem for me as my non-work wardrobe consists of shorts, jeans (for when I have to go somewhere that frowns on shorts), and plain colored t-shirts.

They also said that they wanted to maintain a 50-50 ratio of men to women and to please keep that in mind when I chose my guest.  That wasn’t going to be possible for various reasons.  Ooops!

The day came and I drove out with a buddy to Apple Valley High School, located in lovely and desolate Apple Valley.  For reference, here is how far Apple Valley is from LA:

In BFE is what I'm saying
In BFE is what I’m saying

We stopped at El Super for breakfast burritos

and then headed to the home side parking lot of the bigass stadium they built out there.  Honestly, I thought I was in Texas.

Once you were past the fenced-off area (inside the campus), you were given a wristband and no cameras were allowed.  Of course, there were different color wristbands for different levels of access.  Friends of Amazon and so on would have access to the backstage area.  They set up a tent right where the “Oso Road” words are in the picture above, had a couple of food trucks available, had tons of porta-potties available, and provided plenty of water.

And then we waited.

And waited.

No one had any idea what time we were leaving and no one had cell phones so only people with watches (What ancient sorcery is this?) knew what time it was and people were forced to (gasp!) actually interact with other people and hold conversations!

It was actually like a flashback to the 80’s for me.  Being on your own and not reachable by cell phone and having conversations with random strangers was very nice.  I wish every little youngster that has their phone tied to their hands could experience that.  It was lovely.

Eventually, we got on school buses to head to where the filming would take place.  This was cool for a couple of reasons: 1) I realized that school buses are a LOT different now than they were in my day.  Holy shit we rode in deathtraps! 2) this was a bit like the parties/raves of the 90s where you would go one place and then be driven somewhere else where the actual party was.

As we were boarding the buses, they told us that we would almost certainly be on camera, so make sure your guest is someone you’re supposed to be with.

They also told us that our little group of about 200-300 people were the lucky ones chosen out of over a million people that applied.  Damn.  That felt like winning the lottery.

The bus took us towards the back way into Big Bear, a road I had driven in the past.  A little before the road climbs, the school bus convoy took a left onto a dirt road.  This was getting interesting.  Finally, we saw the green tent with the logo on top and what looked to be a bunch of cars parked on top of a dry lake.  Here is the exact location:

image001

Let me tell you this: I have never seen a more expensive group of cars gathered together and covered in desert dust!  There was the brand-new Ford GT, there was a Rolls Royce Phantom, Aston Martins, Lamborghinis, Ferraris, Alfa Romeos, M cars, Porsches, a Mercedes SLS,

red, white, and blue Mustangs (as I would later find out were in the opening shot),

and, of course, a burned-out caravan.

There was another outdoor open-air tent next to the main studio tent.  There were a bunch of haystacks for people to sit in and there was an area in the back where they were giving out “movie” snacks like hotdogs, popcorn, etc.  We waited there for a while until they would call us into the main tent.  Most people went out onto the lake bed to see all the cars up close.

Finally they called us and there was a guy picking out who went where like he was a bouncer at a club.  Predictably, the 50-50 ratio did not materialize, so the ladies were put in the front and the back was all made up of dudes.  I lucked my way into getting in around the middle.  The picture below is of the Johannesburg audience, but I can tell you that I was standing by the post on the right of the stage between where they guys were and where they entered from.

Right around where the guy in the aqua shirt is
Right around where the guy in the aqua shirt is

No, I did not get on camera. Trust me, I rewound many times.

The taping itself was fairly straightforward and they pretty much did everything on one take.  It was pretty impressive to see.  I’ve been to other studio tapings and there is always a lot of lost time due to re-takes, flubs, and technical issues.  This crew was perfect.  There were only a couple of times where things got stopped for technical issues and the only part that had to be redone several times was when Jeremy was struggling with some dialogue.

It was also interesting to see how much they shot versus what made it onto the show.  For the most part, everything they shot made it in.  It was very lean and well-produced.  There were only two parts that were noticeably cut from what was shot.

The first was the part where they talk about the differences between British English and American English.  The final cut only had one or two things while the shooting had about five or six.  The other was the part where the audience “beats up” the guys for saying the British Air Force was better than ours.

BTW, the audience member’s comment about us bailing them out was completely unprompted and original. I’m glad it made it onto the show.  As a matter of fact, they encouraged the audience to interact with them throughout the shoot.  All of the laughter you heard on the final show was genuine.  There was no laugh track used at all.

The guys were warm, embracing, and interacted greatly with the audience.  Richard Hammond, at one point when we were shooting the US vs UK bit said, “This is so stupid!” and we all laughed.  In truth, it was, but it was also fun.  Jeremy introduced the bit by saying, “What is that chant you all love?  That you do at the Olympics?” and of course everyone instantly roared into USA USA USA!

The shoot flowed exactly like in the show, meaning that things went chronologically and we the audience were shown the films that were shown on the final show.  Our reactions as captured on the show were exactly as they were when we saw the films.  That includes the culmination of the show when it was revealed that Jeremy lost the bet.

For you techies, it was interesting that all the studio lights were LED and that there were a ton of generators outside powering the entire thing.  The effort and manpower it took to pull this off is really incredible.  I’m glad Amazon is giving them the budget to do this.

Finally, the show ended and it was time to leave.  Jeremy told us we were the only ones in the world that knew who won the contest between the three hypercars and begged us to not say anything in social media.  I’m glad no one said anything.  That, more than anything, should be evidence of the good time we all had and the rapport that they built with the audience.

I lingered a bit to look at all the cool stuff that was decorating the tent.  I’m not sure you could tell on the show, but the insides of the tent were decorated in Victorian explorer decor with old framed racing posters and old furniture and accessories like you may have seen if you have ever been in line for the Jungle Cruise in Disneyland.  It was really fucking cool.

By the end, we were wiped as we had been standing on our feet for hours, but it was totally worth it.  Plus, I missed the Steelers’ embarrasing loss to the Eagles, so it was a Sunday well-spent!

The next episode, from Johannesburg, starts streaming at midnight on Friday in England, which is Thursday at 4 PM Pacific and 7 PM Eastern.  You bet your ass I’ll be watching.  I hope you will too.

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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Senor Weaselo

I already mentioned my envy, but once again, you are one of the luckiest motherfuckers… in the world.
/And of course it was Clarkson fucking up the lines

blaxabbath

I was gonna make some crack about school buses being way safer now then link to this:

http://www.cnn.com/2016/11/22/us/tennessee-chattanooga-school-bus-accident/index.html

But I suspect Tennessee already has a school bus fleet that is so old that they play a vital role in Making America Great Again.

Unsurprised

i.e., They still have the Colored sections

blaxabbath

#MAGA

Unsurprised

… in the back, just to be clear.

blaxabbath

Nothing makes A more #G-er than that.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Awesome write up. On this part, though:

“As we were boarding the buses, they told us that we would almost certainly be on camera, so make sure your guest is someone you’re supposed to be with.”

HOW DUMB ARE PEOPLE? “Hey, I’ve successfully hid this affair from anyone that might use it against me, so the perfect date is to go on set for a show that will potentially be aired to millions of eyeballs.” YARGH

Unsurprised

“HOW DUMB ARE PEOPLE?”

Very fucking dumb.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

A friend of mine had her parents break up because her dad was caught on camera at a World Series game with his side piece.

Shogun Marcus
Unsurprised

It’s because you’re really tiny. All balls.

Sharkbait

Jealous. I thoroughly enjoyed the first episode and look forward to them all.

This review may or may not have convinced me to get my GTI…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VwgvIqXg3A

theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus

You gonna run down black lesbians now wit yo sweet beemer?
http://i991.photobucket.com/albums/af33/globalmedia23/rka5ox_large.jpg