JV FOOTY EDITION!!!!!
Hope you like that banner image. We’ll get back to that but….
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First, Some Business (again)
Fantasy Football!!!
I’m by no means a FF expert. I did it once, and I sucked at it. But I have now put my pride on the line and am about to get my ass kicked by a buncha wimminz (I Will Dye Blonde, Covalent Blonde, Dok Zymm and Beastmode…hehehehe yeah he’s a woman, didn’t know that did ya????).
If you wanna see my ass get kicked by wimminz who hate me….and who DOESN’T wanna see that…? Well then you need to go here and sign up. There’s one spot left, the draft is TOMORROW AT 1:30PM, so you’ve still got time.
Again….Here is where to go.
Yup, forget all that bullshit up there. KingHippo done joined up in the last spot last night and locked me in, so now I can’t bow out gracefully.
Jerk.
The Chick League is now full and ready to roll, and Imma look like an idiot as early as Week One when Covalent Blonde kicks my ass.
This is for you Hippo…..
(I’ll get you for this one)
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Now, back to that banner image…..
Yes, I’m an NC State homer. Wanna fight about it? Yeah, me neither.
Also…just look at those tight little abs, right?
But trust me…being an NC State fan is nothing to be proud of. We suck at everything. Well other than swimming and cross country.
But it wasn’t always that way, FWIW…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8l5N2eKdvL4
…and we do still have the coolest (and least intimidating) gang sign on teh planet. Behold… Teh Wolf Sign….
THANKS OBAMA!!!!!!
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Sooooooo, who wants to talk about weed again? Nobody? Just me then I guess.
/sighs dejectedly
Relax, I’m just joking. This week it’s gonna be clean and wholesome(ish).
I mean who likes booze, weed and sex less than college students anyway? AMIRITE?????
*Note to self: Go back to college.
**Note to self: Don’t go to THAT college. Yeeeesh. LMFAO.
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Aimless Meanderings
Not much talky talky this week. If you wanna hear me wax philosophic you can get that from the past two weeks of TGISF (and sincerely, if you really DO wanna hear me wax philosophic…what the hell’s wrong with you anyway??? You should seek help immediately!!!)
But fine then. How ’bout some music?
(and yes, there is a theme to the music tonight, let’s see who figures it out first)
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Sports Which Make Me Wish I Could Go Back In Time
NFL
All the the terrible fake games finished up last night. Next stop? Terrible real games. The Chef’s and the Tawmmy’s kick it off next Thursday. Then the rest of the jackholes tee things up on Sunday, of course. And we’ll all sit and watch like the sheeple we know ourselves to be. *sigh*
Elsewhere, Zeke has decided to litigate. LMFAO.
As an aside, my Ratbirds finished their fake games a perfect 4-0. I know what the means. The pain begins next weekend. *sigh*
NCAA Football
Last night, Indiana Football channeled the spirit of Bobby Knight for about 20ish minutes (What? He’s not dead? Well he should be.)
Then they remembered they’re Indiana Football. tOSU rolls in the second half, 49-21 Final. There were some other games too, but I didn’t watch them and I’m not gonna talk about ’em.
Everybody is already crawling up ‘Bama/’Nole rectal orifices. That’s good. Maybe no one will be watching when the SEC vs ACC undercard happens, and SCar embarrasses my Wolven Sort.
KingHippo will have more on teh JV NFL tomorrow morning so I’ll shut up about that for now. But there are some games tonight and you can go here to see the who, where and when’s of it.
I’m all tingly in anticipation of Fordham at Army, btw.
MLB
My Orioles lost last night. But had won 7 straight prior to last night, are back above .500 and solidly back in playoff contention. Sadly, just like in the case of the Ratbirds, I know what that means, too. *sigh*.
And it had to happen eventually. The Dodgers have lost five straight. Don’t get me wrong, they’ll still take the division going away. But it’s still kinda funny to watch fans be fans. LOL.
Tonight:
- Boston at NYY – 7:00pmEDT – MLBN (regional split)
- Cleveland at Detroit – 7:00pmEDT – MLBN (regional split)
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More Music? Yup.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FnMeXyXyovs
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Cheerleaders…YAY
In spite of a handful of games last weekend, this weekend is the main opening weekend for JV NFL Footy. College GameDay, full slate of games, etc., etc.
Now for me (and KingHippo too, I’m afraid…poor bastard) this is a double edged sword. We love the college game, but we also know that our alma mater is not just destined for, but also committed to, mediocrity. It’s what we aspire to, AT BEST. No shit, it’s an institutional thing as far as our athletic department is concerned. Be good enough to sell enough tix to make a profit. But don’t rock the boat and actually take the steps needed to actually rise up and be a consistently good program.
He and I have both anguished over this loser mentality at times. But we’ve also both come to the painful conclusion that it’s not going to change in our lifetimes, if ever.
Shit, I hope I didn’t just cause Hippo to off himself. HIPPO DON’T DO IT!!!!!! T’AINT WORTH IT!!!!!!
Wait, did I just say “taint”? Yup.
Anywhoooooo…..
The college footy gets rolling in full this weekend. So we’re honoring that with teh cheerleader types.
Sorry if I missed your school, but feel free to stick ’em in (the comments).
Enjoy….
Wolf Sign, redux. You see that, right?
OK then, let’s play some fitbawwwll!!!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xus57BaY3hI
Yep, my redneck roots come thru.
Shut up.
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Two more musical numbers….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Dhn_iIQXDE
Soooooo, have you figured out the musical theme yet?
No, it’s not Shitty 80s Songs.
LMFAO.
Here’s one last hint…
OK, two….
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Have a good weekend, folks.
Love ya’s
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Do you have a “request” or an idea for a future TGISF theme? Drop me a line…
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[…] TGISF…AKA “Return Of Teh Cheerleaders – Part I” Sexy Friday Open Thread – September 1, 2017 […]
Today was effectively my “cheat” day and now I am so full I’m sick and sad.
I feel like a total dork for not even knowing who Brie Larson was before she was cast as Carol Danvers, but I’m glad I did. That is going to hang over my head as the one exception to my self-imposed embargo on superhero media because, like I said, and Captain Marvel is my favorite comic character – especially since I was one of the five people who were fans of her before 2012.
Linked because there’s a glimpse of nipple
I don’t know if I am the only psycho who does this but because my state is a one-party consent state, I record every single interaction I have with the cops, down to the simplest traffic stop.
Look I know cops, I get the job is difficult, but should you know that going in. Oh shit, some people don’t like to be arrested and make it difficult, who knew? “Look they just want to make it home safely”, so does every fucking human on the planet.
Also, David Clarke is a fraud who should be allowed nowhere near power. He had an issue a few years ago where he brought in this nut bag evangelical guy to proselytize at mandatory roll call meetings, and was shocked that some people complained for it to stop. “I guess God is now the enemy”, there’s no fucking nuance to this guy at all. All these Trump types are such fragile, whiny bitches. All these groups who go “BUT DID YOU WHAT THEY SAID ON CNN/Fox/MSNBC? ” No, I didn’t and I really don’t give a fuck. “LOOK AT THIS OP-ED IN THE TIMES” it’s an op-ed, not news you fuck. Most of the shit that people want to talk about has me going, “Why should I care?”
“Melania wore stillettos to Houston, isn’t that fucked?” Just shut the fuck up.
Good. Nothing good ever comes from talking to the police.
I doubt Clarke is joining the White House because, frankly, the military junta we now have running the government wouldn’t allow it, if for no other reason than because he wears a bunch of fake medals and the men who run the White House earned theirs rightfully*. As it stands, Tillerson has one foot out the door and I guarantee you his successor will be a retired four-star general or admiral (my guess is McRaven or some other cretinous fuck whose career was built on fighting this bullshit GWOT. Given how he once commanded UNCOM [U.S. and a handfull of Allied forces in Korea], I’d even entertain Eric Shinseki).
*I’m not getting into the politics of whether it’s easier for officers to be awarded anything.
B-B-B-B-UT KILLARIES’ EMAILS11! ROEBRT E LEES’ STTATUES!111!1
Love some of your music picks there tWBS, the Bangles cover of Hazy Shade of Winter is surprisingly good. Any of you remember a flash in the pan band called Veruca Salt? Volcano Girls is a guilty pleasure of mine.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jC9AUR-iTo0
Veruca Salt opened at the first live concert I ever saw. They rocked.
Does Elliott actually have a case in this matter? A lawyer buddy of mine says he does.
The accuser certainly seems to have her own issues. I despise domestic violence and have/would never hit a woman, but the chick seems a bit off the rails.
He has enough of a case to embarrass the fuck out of Goodell and the league’s front office, which is good enough for Double J.
Those that cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imqvLToWH7k
It has Sigourney Weaver doing kung fu. It can’t be that bad.
Oops. This was in reply to Wakezilla asking about Defenders.
Iron Fist wasn’t the greatest, and Guardians stunk. Here’s hoping The Defenders doesn’t disappoint
Apart from the fact that it doesn’t suck, it does represent.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1U1Ue_5kq8
Well, this is TGISF. Someone should really help her with that posture, though.
She seems nice. She needs to stop skipping leg days tho
Shit, I have the whole weekend, Saturday and Sunday, off for the first time in at least a year and a half. What should I do with myself?
Freezer vodka, weed, and JV footed ball.
1) Drink
2) Masturbate
3) Repeat 1 and 2 as needed
I concur. Trust us. We’re doctors.
Also, having some food now and again wouldn’t be terrible.
Something greasy to help prevent hangovers from the dehydration that comes from all that drinking and masturbation.
Speaking of which, I’ll see you sorry bastards tomorrow.
😛
There’s the thing I’m writing for next week, so some of that… but I wasn’t including #2, because that goes without saying!
Hunter Pence is the N. Illinois QB. Who knew??
hehehehehe
@Hippo,
I just popped over to that “other site” just to peek. Never been so happy with a decision in my life (other than divorcing my bitch ex wife).
Even the BovineCanine is going….bad.
Then again, he’s got literal “skin in the game” so I can’t fault him too much.
We need to track him down and drink all the things.
better you than me peeking LOL
He put up a front page post. First one since April.
Pornhub?
I wonder if Dave Doeren is watching this wishing he’d stayed there.
At least then he could have had a chance to beat BC.
nah, our checks cash just fine
Brock Lobster gets cut. Will the Donks re-sign him to be their backup at veteran minimum, or will they go with an undrafted rookie from a college that might be made up?
/undrafted rookie is almost surely the better player
How’s the circle jerking tonight?
https://letswatchgirls.tumblr.com/collection
Going through it just by familiar names and I have like 90 tabs open.
#NotThatTheresAnythingWrongWithThat
I’ll end up saving all the tabs in a bookmarks folder and never look at them again.
Just because I’m not a physical hoarder like my mother doesn’t mean I’m not a hoarder.
#BindersOfWomen
Great calllback!
You bust a nut and leave the tabs open, you can bust a nut again and it’d be like spank bank leftovers
I’ve been skimming through the tabs as I close them and you know what? I can’t stand these shitty Russian photographers and their augmented models. These photos look like shit.
I mean, sure, they’re decently pornographic glamour shots, but the only jerking off motion I’m making is the dismissive air wank because pthbbbbt.
Six guys.
That means the burgers are even better, right?
Not with that sauce, no.
/takes a bite
Yes, no is the correct answer.
Still up hoping to laugh at Boston College
O’s win 1-0 in 13 innings, btw.
I’m too tired to gloat tho.
Wait, no I’m not….SUCK IT TORONTO!!!!
At least the Mariners let me give up on them already.
Best of luck though!
Is that the point where you say “Chicago”?
Actually, it was “CHI****!”
This is true.
So, my FF draft research is done. I didn’t do any.
Yes, I’m taking this very, very seriously.
Hehehehehe
Dok’s got a frikkin’ spreadsheet out, evaluating players based on position, health, team, and we’re throwing darts at names on the wall.
Does she really?
Oh man, this is gonna be worse than I thought.
Having played for 20 years or so, I find they is nigh zero correlation between the amount of prep time I put in and my final results. It’s either about (i) getting blind-ass lucky with who I draft early; or (ii) doing well on the waiver wire.
That makes two of us.
Be sure to pick Charles Rodgers for Detroit. Matt Millen thinks he’s about to be a breakout star at WR.
Pro tip: Pick good players on good teams
I hear this Brady fella has a literal pact with Satan. That seems like a safe bet.
So will the raiders move the Al Davis Memorial Torch to LV? And in like 10 years, people will ask Al Davis was and no fan will know — and they won’t be expected to known because they just got the team in 2019.
Local vampire?
I’m pissed that I can’t find it, but this commercial originally said “5 minutes” instead of “2 seconds”. Shout out to King Hippos “ad wizards”:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-qA1jCVCmQ
KILL KILL KILL
As someone who worked in the admissions department for 4 years, he would’ve gotten the big envelope! Big! With things inside it!
Here’s some dude at his job, picture taken by some dude he works with.
“Fake news.” -Pete Carroll
hey, I think I can see my gardening trowel
I decided to let GLOW play as I tried to write today, and at least I can say that Betty Gilpin is hot and it’s gotten pretty funny towards the end.
I also have beer now. WOOOOO!
I liked Glow. GLOW’s biggest problem was when they tired to make it Orange is the new Black, which happened at moments throughout the season. Still can’t wait for season 2.
I see the ad wizards have already recorded they’s very special heartwarming edition commercials for the footy contests.
Been saying this too much lately, given data mining and FBI watchlists and whatnot…but the Unabomber had some good goddamned ideas.
He’s the only respectable Harvard alumnus.
FC 4 LIF
/receives parcel for using cellphone
Anyone listening to Joey Galloway prognosticate – he picked Baylor to win the BIG12-2 this year. CTE don’t play.
Trent Green picked a houseplant. He has better odds.
To be fair that’s what his “Insider” told him.
Jason Verlander to Houston; they must think that his wife will act as a flotation device
(I know this is obvious to all of you, but for anyone else reading, “Jason” is a supercool reference the travishamockery of a Cy Young vote that happened last year giving as evidenced here:
:large
note: Porcello won. His best stat was what the rest of his team did. And, one of the “voters” submitted their ballot with “Jason” instead of “Justin” Verlander. And more than one DIDN’T EVEN PUT HIM ON THE BALLOT! Every baseball media writer should be round up and shot.)
Yup. ‘Twas a travesty.
I just wish Dan Duquette had a brain. O’s coulda marched to October with Verlander.
Dumbass.
Knows how to win, whatevah flyover cuntry BAHSTAHN STRAHNG!!!
Tune in to DFO, where it’s revealed that herodotus450 is actually Kate Upton.
Are any of you secretly Alison Brie? Asking for a friend. The friend is most of us.
If I was secretly Alison Brie, I’d never leave the house.
Yes, that means what you think it means.
MASTURBATION IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR.
Oh really?
So why didn’t he win it?
Because baseball writers are barely more intelligent than undecided voters.
And I do mean barely.
You give them that much credit?
Fair point.
This. This is why the internet demands anonymity. This one joke, a perfect blend of objective humor with deserved finger-wagging, is worth the 50 Skankhunt45’s who will use that anonymity to comment about white supremacy.
I went to a small D3 school… Posting my cheerleader pics would kind of kill the fetish for most people
It really is, fwiw.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEnCxGh8kBg
I like the BC girl because she’s obviously looking on lovingly while her father/brother/husband marches with a tiki torch on a Confederate monument.
Well my “South” has risen again.
My south will come again
:large
She’s always been one of my favs, though my reasoning might be different.
I’ve used her (no not like that, sadly) before in posts on another site (with which I’m no longer associated…LOLOLOL)
She looks like Marisa Miller. They have the same tan anyway.
I haven’t been able to enjoy some relaxing football tonight yet.
Scoreless tie in Baltimore in the 9th, Toronto threatening.
Fuck you, Toronto.
Ha!!!!! Out at home!!!!!
Suck it, Toronto.
I concur on the “Fuck you, Toronto” bit, but since you guys are closer in the standings… go… no, I can’t say it.
/At least the Twinkies and the LA A of A of CA of USA of etc. are losing
Go ahead, you can say it.
I won’t hold it against you.
Go meteor? That’s about the best I can do. But Camden Yards is nice, so… go meteor when they play at the Rogers Centre.
Oh come on!!!!!
You can tell me to go fuck myself. It’s OK.
I was saving that until Monday.
Well, that’s one way to give the game to Wiscy. What a stupid call and stupid fucking rule.
Not sure that I’ve seen a targeting call ever overruled by a non call on the field. Is that part new?
Not sure. I hate it even more, if so. Thought a consensus was building last year to scrap it entirely. SIGH.
The announcers said the replay booth “buzzed in” to call targeting. I didn’t see a flag when the play happened. That would be new to me.
You don’t agree with targeting rule at all? What about the QB?
My own 2 cents…and I didn’t see tonight’s play in question, FWIW…
Targeting is being over called. True helmet to helmet targeting is one thing, yes. But it’s gone too far. Just because helmets touch (giggity) doesn’t make it targeting. It’s gone way overboard IMHO.
And also, fuck the QB. If he doesn’t want to get hit….move.
Roughing the passer rules already protect him. If he needs more than that then go play…..something else.
yeah i realized that after i posted
But then the penalty would be called docking
I almost always see it on DBs because the WR ducks, or is in an awkward position b/c the pass is a duck (like there). Existing rules protect QB already, just make oint of emphasis you can throw guys out for blatant headhunting if you want.
Agree that it was a bad call here because he wasnt head hunting.