As I complained in the comments yesterday, my Sunday viewing slate was ARI/RAMMIT, NYG/SEA, NE/ATL. The total number of points scored by losing teams in those broadcasts: 14. I’m not bullish on the 2017 season.
HOWEVA, Justin Timberlake is now officially slated for the Super Bowl 52 Halftime Show and Twitter is already #justiceforjanet. You can call me the Detroit Lions because, as with all Super Bowls, I’m just staying out of this one.
Finally, power rankings aren’t necessarily shaking out at the top (how far can the Steelers ride Le’Veon Bell’s ever shortening career?) but the bottom of the barrel appears to be taking shape nicely. The once AFC East leading Jets are now a 0.3% lock for the division title and should be FINALLY buying into tanksville.
Last week (Week 7):
Top 5: KC, ATL, PHI, CAR, PIT
Bottom 5: SF, CLE, CHI, IND, LAC
This week (Week 8):
Top 5: KC, PHI, PIT, SEA, DAL
Bottom 5: SF, CLE, ARI, BAL, NYJ
Alright, that should be time enough for the gifs to load. Pardon the basedball analogy but here’s hoping you all knock Quotables out of the park this week.
That punt is going to come with a spot of tea in 1-2 years
Jesus sometimes Wentz you to go right through the hole.
DO YOU HEAR THAT, TEBOW?
The NFL is so bad this year that the Cowboys apparently have to play two different opponents some weeks
I haven’t seen a Raven that blameless for senseless violence since that elevator in February 2014
Wait, you weren’t just protesting the right to ride a motorcycle without a helmet?
DOWN GOES SIEMEN!
–Learning the wrong lesson in anatomy class and inappropriately conveying the events surrounding the USS Cole
STOMP! STOMP! Crap, crap.
Cool black Coach did NOT make one of his hilarious, good time sideline faces there.
/also, this was sadly only like the 5th or 6th worst thing that happened to the Donks in Shitty Clipper land Sunday
//Brandon Perna had an epic rant on this very play on his “That’s Good Broncos” YouTube segment that had me in stitches. He some how brought it around to how the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles move franchise shat on his childhood.
THIS GUY DREW KASER I CALL HIM “THE LASER” CAUSE HE’S DROPPING PRECISION-GUIDED BOMBS.
I haven’t seen a primate take a shot like that since the bar scene in Any Which Way You Can.
We would have also accepted “Since Harambe.”
/dicks out
To the head!
– Ben Roethlisberger, when they finally get to the part of the workplace harassment video that explains what “consent” means.
This is sublime.
THIS GUY CARSON WENTZ I CALL HIM NIGHTCRAWLER CAUSE HE CAN TELEPORT SHORT DISTANCES AND REPRESENTS A GROUP OF MUTANTS THAT IS LOATHED BY THE REST OF HUMANITY.
Real talk: I think he actually made the right play here – since he first touched the ball in the field of play, wouldn’t it be a safety if he’d tried to down it?
nope, cause he didn’t have control. I dislike that part of the rule, but the muff doesn’t mean safety or even back to spot of the muff – it’s ruled a touchback.
I believe if the ball’s (heh) momentum was carrying it into the end zone, it can be a touchback regardless of whether it was touched in the field of play.
It’s funny seeing a guy named Prescott delivering something to a Butler; it’s usually the other way around.
“Personal Foul…Way Too Awesome Hit On Shitty QB…#54 of the defense…I’m sorry”
“Graphics” man- “I’m telling you that isn’t how it’s spelled. Look at the form they filled out.”
Network exec- “My teacher always said “I” before “E”, except after “C”.
“I get a pound of barbecue per yard of distance, right?”
-A. Reid
“Someone named Covalent Blonde just threatened to come out of the stands and kick my ass!?!”
“Jesus. RUN! RUN YOU FOOL!”
Well, LemonJello’s a dead man.
If a QB is killed in a mostly empty stadium, does it make a sound?
Tonight on 60 minutes.
I haven’t seen a more confusing shot of a cowboy on a jet since W’s time in the Texas Air National Guard.
“NoNoNoNoNoNo! The endzone IS LAVA!!!!1!11!!”
THE BEN’s actions in a Georgia bar bathroom stall back in 2010 finally sink in.
To add insult to injury, the Eagles audible for a QB scramble was “Trail of Tears.”
“Hello, Darkness, my old friend…”
C’mon guys, you can’t let them get away that easily.
You get this fucking salad OFF OF MY PLATE!
MOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!
Somebody broke the siiiiiiiiiiiiite!
What did you call that girl in the bathroom, Ben?
“Whore”
-Ben
Also would have accepted “available”.
“Big fucking deal.”
– Mary Draper Ingles
THAT is fucking great.
Just another example of the white man taking advantage of the ‘Skins
Damn, last Denver guy that went down that violently forgot to fuel up his Cessna.
DING DING!
I CALL THIS GUY KASER “HOUSTON (500/620)” AS HE LIKES IT DEEP
After further review, Touchdown Seattle!!!
-Ref
/obligatory
“Purple monkey dishwasher”
-Trent Green, commentating.
“Purple monkey?”
-Howard Cosell
“Look at that huge gorilla throw!”
– Howard Cosell
this also applies to the Ben GIF
See, Ben, it’s wrong to rape women.
I will reiterate Coach RTD’s philosophy: I would fine every kickoff returner that takes the ball out of the endzone. In today’s NFL, there is no fucking way a returner gets 25 yards.
whilst i agree that bringing the ball out out the endzone is dumb, i think it was a live ball after he touched it, that a cover in the end zone would be a safety.
Was wondering that myself.
Pictured, Danny Almonte’s first attempt to circumvent age regulations.
it’s good to see that even a few years after Tomsula’s departure the 49ers recognize that you never leave a bindle behind.