Thanksgiving Hippo Thoughts (and Mini-JV Friday Preview)

Spending holiday time alone is fucking great.  Even if the footy action is a wet fart in a paper bag that has seen better days.

Our erstwhile Fuck Lions started things off, and oh my, they did not have the Turkey Day performance boost they usually have.  Only a series of fortunate events kept them within striking distance late, and they did absolutely nothing with the chances given them.  30-23, bupkus.  The Case Keenum express rolls on.

Surely the Cowboys would rekindle memories of holiday magic?  Uh, fuck and no.  Only the lack of a placekicker kept this from being a complete laugher, as King Laserface slung passes around JerralWorld like they was sperm or sommet.  Eventually, DAK! kinda just melted down and short-circuited.  It was…not easy to watch, that Q4.  6-28.

Somehow, the closest fixture was the least watchable, as Captain Dingleberry and Elisha battled from their respective pillow forts.  C.D. accounted for all three touched down passes (2 for his’n, 1 for they’s’n) and a garbage time FG helped the ‘Dacteds undeservedly beat the spread, even.  Christ, what a game.  I swear, I don’t remember Los Gigantes having the ball at all until the final 3 and a half minutes.

Let’s hope Friday’s JV slate will be an improvement.  Spoiler alert – shit in one hand, hope in the other, see which gets full first.

Miami at Pitt (Noon, ABC)

See, if Pitt were only 5-6 and had apricot bowl qualification to play for, one could have a gambling angle here.  Alas, it’s all about whether Da U will shit all over its dick.  Which it very well might.

Baylor at TCU (Noon, FS1)

All Bloodeyes has to do to make the inaugural Big 12-ish title game is beat sad little rapey BayBay at home.  But what if they don’t wanna play Boomer Sooner again?  What if they try to throw a game to a team that isn’t capable of winning it?

Missouri at Arkansas (2:30, CBS)

Again, this would be cooler if both sides were 5-6 and fighting for bowl eligibility…but Mizzou won last week and Pig Sooey didn’t, so…who the fuck knows.  It’s just a thing on teevee.

South Florida at Central Florida (3:30, ABC)

If the Bulls win, at least we won’t have to hear some dumbass (likely on FS1) go hurr durr, they beat everybody on they schedule!!111.  Who gives a shit, really.  That will be apparent in the attendance, despite a 9-1 side facing a 10-0 one.

Iowa at Nebraska (4:00, FS1)

Hey, come watch some fucker (Mike Riley) get fired!!

Virginia Tech at Virginia (8:00, ESPN)

This will either be a great game, or VPI will win by 30.

Texas Tech at Texas (8:00, Fox)

Isn’t it annoying when all the reasonably watchable games get bunched up together like this?  Anyway, I got the Red Raiders at +10.5 and feel good about it.

Cal at UCLA (10:30, FS1)

This game had better show a lot of leg if it wants me to stay up until 2 am and see who makes it to 6-6.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Senor Weaselo

Did that fucker get fired? I know the coach for Pig Sooey did!

[…] King Hippo has you covered here already. […]

ballsofsteelandfury

Deadpool kicks ass

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah it does.
Shit, I might watch that again tonight instead of sportsballing contests.

Viva La Tabula Raza

So many great lines.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I bought a huge box of Goldfish “for the kids” this Thanksgiving. These things really put the crack in crackers.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I try to avoid those and Cheez-Its (esp white cheddar) these days.

theeWeeBabySeamus

WTG Caps, let’s give TB a PP to end this and see if you really can fuck this up.
Jeebus.

herodotus450

UCF goes from 0-12 to 11-0 in two years apparently… Were they one of the teams who had a cancelled game this year? Bah! Bah I say! The record means nothing to me now.

herodotus450

(Woops, just ignore that last comment…)
Shades of Plano East!

Senor Weaselo

Okay, South Central Florida, stop being Florida Men.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wow. I love it when I stumble on some random college game that I care nothing about and it turns into something absolutely bananas.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Speaking of this S. Florida / UCF game, of course.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Jinxed it. I was hoping for OT.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I was hoping for OT.

– Andy Reid, at the conclusion of every eating contest he ever competed in

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Few people know this, but Andy Reid secretes a highly acid fluid capable of dissolving flesh, bones, and several common metals.

herodotus450

The Night of the Flowers continues! Reports of his demise on Dragonstone have been greatly exaggerated!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Why do the Caps suck so much on PP?
(shut up WCS…it’s rhetorical)

herodotus450

Probably just another Russian trying to undermine Washington.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Did you see what came out of Ovie’s talkhole a coupla weeks ago?

herodotus450

Something about Putin, I saw a little while back? Is there any chance he DIDN’T say that because of the imminent polonium threat?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Who knows with hockey-ers? They gotz as much CTE as the NFL, but keep right on going.

herodotus450

I just think Putin and his friends wipe their asses with more money than Ovechkin will make in his life, so I assume he’s a pawn.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Either that or just a dumbass loyal to his countrymen.
Or both.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

/intrigued by the potential “applications”.

herodotus450

Is sheer marketing brute force enough to make the new Straw Wars movies the same cultural touchstone that the originals were? I think they will be the next version of Christmas music: something that appeals to one generation and will always be catered to service them no matter how stale it gets.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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