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"This site goes down so often we oughta change the name to “Dating Nancy Reagan”" – Horatio
Buenos dias!
Hoy es…um…el partido de Ingleterra…ah nuts to this.
It’s Saturday and it’s time for the Open Championship (you know, the one over in, um, Britain). Apparently Tiger Woods is making a run for it, so…get ready for the hype. Oh. Looks like he’s done for today after shooting a 66. Good for him.
Anyhow, crack one open (I’m talking about a Pedialyte, of course) and kick back and watch some golf. Or catch up on your yard work and robot fights, which is what I’ll be doing. Have at it!
Nobody will read this but:
It almost 4:00 AM Pacific, and I’m working in my studio, and I hear cats fucking. I go out on the balcony and there are cats fucking in a ground level garage across the way; there’s an echo to the sound. Then it becomes a long undulating moan that sounds like a baby crying. It goes on for five minutes and it’s like out of a horror movie. It sounds just like a baby crying, abandoned in the parking garage, except that it’s off. It’s too strong (plus the echo!) yet it sounds like a lost baby . . . And I’m stoned just right and it was extra creepy and awesome! It was like Rosemary’s Baby or some real Stephen King shit outside my window.
FIVE MINUTES!! IS THAT TOM CAT SOME KIND OF STALLION CAT?!?! A MARATHON CAT??
Earlier tonight…
My lady friend and I step into the elevator on our way out to dinner…
Elevator Automated voice: Going… Down…
tWBS: YEAH I AM!!!!
Lady Friend: [tries not to giggle, fakes look of silent scorn]
Later that night, getting into elevator after dinner, with several other people, complete strangers in the elevator car with us…
Elevator Automated Voice: Going… Up…
tWBS: YEAH I AM!!!!
Lady Friend: [Now embarrassed but unable not to giggle in spite of herself]
Other elevator occupants: [mixed reactions, at best]
Lady Friend and I now step out of the elevator…
Lady Friend: YOU ARE NOT FUNNY!!!! [smacks me playfully but still unable to stop laughing]
Me: YEAH I AM!!!!
That’s some dedication to your callback, I approve.
I know there’s another half left but damn Toby Greene is a difference maker.
OK, here’s your “No Shit” moment of the night…
I just turned on the TV and it happened to be tuned to some movie. And I didn’t know what movie, but it immediately grabbed my attention. Vibrant, great soundtrack. It just grabbed me, literally within 30 seconds or less.
And I know that it had to be 30 seconds or less, because I was very disappointed to learn that it wasn’t a movie at all.
It was a Walmart commercial.
No shit.
I think I’m probably a little TOO high….amirite??????
This has been your “No Shit” moment of the night.
Good night, and god bless.
Say what you will about Pesci, or this role in particular (yes, it was cheesy as hell and was supposed to be and he played it to perfection)….
But he is one of the best actors of our era. Think about it…he plays the cheesy character every time. But he can do it comedic (Cousin Vinny) or dramatic/evil (Goodfellas) and not miss a beat. He can also do this…
One of the most moving (to me at least) soliloquies about loss and grieving and getting past it I’ve ever heard. Fuck you if you disagree….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blDRmWjXXj8
Sooooo…I’ve had good day.
/eats another edible gummy
//re-lights pre-roll
///eats yet another gummy
////takes shot of vodka
/////falls asleep (passes out) with smile on face
Alright, F1 race starts in 7 hours. Let’s be better and have the open thread up by 6 pacific.
I’ve been at work in my home studio for six hours now and I have been completely fucking off all night. This rhinoceros, the undisputed king of the mudhole, has created more than I have, and better too. This rhino is my new spirit guide.
.
That guy knows his shit!!
Hnnngh
She can 7 my 9.
Wait, you can just bounce it through for a goal?
Blair Walsh needs to have a serious talk with his agent.
Merely a flesh wound!
Hawthorn has scored 69? Nice!
Plus a behind! Very talented group.
Nice
Has anyone considered a really aggressive poop flinging campaign?
We can build on this!
In certain German internet circles…….
.
She’s not THAT ugly.
Including ass to mouth in your vows is a thing of beauty.
This has been known for a while but, you’d think this would cause more outrage:
“In 2012, the New York Army National Guard paid the Buffalo Bills $250,000 to conduct on-field re-enlistment ceremonies. In 2014, the Georgia National Guard paid the Atlanta Falcons $114,000 to sing the national anthem. In 2015, the Air Force paid NASCAR $1.5 million in part for veterans to shake hands with racing legend Richard Petty. Your tax dollars. At work.”
http://www.wbur.org/onlyagame/2018/07/20/military-sports-astore-francona
“So you want to NOT advertise our armed forces? Why do you want the terrorists to win?”
-49% of voters
Oh, this isn’t just a republican issue. Have you seen the Democrats lately? They’re trying to out chauvinism the GOP.
Even if Trump (somehow) loses the 2020 election, the GOP has won because the mainstream Democrats have gone so far right, they’re barely moderate republicans
This Ocasio-Cortez lady doesn’t seem like a Repub. Everyone else, maybe.
She’s awesome, but the exception to the norm. Many democrats campaigned for Crowley during that election. After she had won, Pelosi dismissed it, and mainstream think tanks said you can’t use her politics in the midwest, which is utter nonsense. Then, after her win, Democrats had a meeting in Brooklyn to discussed what happened and didn’t invite her.
And Crowley stayed on the ballot anyway and his response to it is the “Sorry trying to delete it” tweet in statement form.
Yeah, he’s an asshole.
Speaking of assholes, the exact thing could happen to Cuomo. The difference between Ocasio-Cortez and Cynthia Nixon is that Nixon’s SITC fame got media to pay attention to her before the election results. It’d be quite the feat if she could take down Cuomo
Didn’t swallow.
2/10 would not bang
I love polka dot dresses
I see Carlton took the night off.
You know what I can’t wait for? When the fans at Summerfest boo the shit out of Roman Reigns, despite the WWE’s best efforts to get him over for the bajillionith straight year.
If they aren’t going to have Roman turn heel, at least have Braun cash in the briefcase and have him defeat Bork Laser
I mean, Roman IS over if being over is what the WWE was actually trying to accomplish instead of them pushing him down people’s throats. He’s a top level worker now, and when he’s just quiet and murderous like he was when he originally got over, people still enjoy him, but they refuse to just let it happen. If they’d just let him go out and work matches and occasionally murder people and not be Samoan John Cena, they’d get what they want eventually. Also, maybe drop the fucking vest and music 4 years after the Shield stopped being a thing.
FWIW, I like Roman Reigns to a point. It feels like the WWE cuts his momentum off and defaults to Samoan Cena.
It’s just wild to me that we’re entering year 5 of the great Roman Reigns experiment, when Austin and the Rock essentially wrestled in the WWE for about 6 years. lol.
They seem obsessed with having him be the guy who knocks Lesnar off and then they refuse to pull the trigger on it, and now the fans have generally turned on the idea of it. Reigns should definitely be in the scene, but they need to do something different if they don’t want the fans to shit all over him beating Lesnar when he finally wins it again like they did when they had Bray randomly win the title in an Elimination Chamber to save us from Cena-Orton CXVII so they could give us one of the all-time worst Mania championship matches of all time.
It really is weird. Making him the corporate champ seems so obvious that it makes no sense to me why they don’t do that. They can even book him the same way and everything.
Do you think Brock doesn’t like him or something? It’s just all. . . so bizarre that they won’t pull the trigger.
I don’t know if Brock likes anybody. He may be the most don’t give a fuck person I’ve ever seen.
You’d think by now…….
Yeah, she’s taken enough shots to the face to not react. Obviously hamming it up for the camera here.
Nice. . .
Me thinks the blonde and the brunette were fighting over the same guy/girl and the blonde just wrecked the brunette’s chances. Look at that smile at the end. She knew what she was doing.
That’s an automatic DQ!. . . Unless it was a no DQ match
So how exactly is this guy still walking around a free man?
https://splinternews.com/here-are-the-secret-documents-about-the-surveillance-of-1827768635
Pretty sure just the name “Carter Page” will get you the most expensive lawyers in town.
Me if I’m ever facing a supreme court justice nomination hearing
http://tribzap2it.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/arrested-development-jessica-walter-lucille-bluth-plate-or-platter-animated-gif.gif?w=500&h=274
Carlton – Hawthorn AFL tilt underway.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s43lsedS8dw
One of the strange things about living in LA is that you can tell something crazy is going on when three or four helicopters are hovering in the same place.
The ol’ panda chicken fire run, who can forget.
All that for Jonathan Gold?
When I used to live in San Pedro, that was a nightly occurrence.
Is that a phone taped to her leg?
That’s what happens when you wear black to a wedding, ladies.
#phoneholster.
The rare 2-ball split.
/Me at 1pm
/Me at 8am
This guy turned down a dump truck of money to work for WWE after a guest appearance a couple years ago so he could go back to DDT Pro and shoot fireworks at people in a park. He is the purest boy in pro wrestling.
The Dirt Cowboys/Browns game has reached Silly Condition Plaid. (Dirt Browns up 13 – 3) Dave Raymond and C.J. Nitkowski just had an exchange about Austin Bibens-Dirkx discussng the lone remaining Blockbuster store on the planet.
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