I’m in Florida this week visiting a friend. And aside from the reason I’m here, which is the aforementioned friend, which admittedly has been very nice and a lot fun…
Well, that part aside…
Simply stated, Florida is a shithole.
I DROVE 12 HOURS FOR THIS????
Full disclosure, I hadn’t been in the State of Florida since New Year’s Day, 1994. That was for a bowl game in Tampa between my NC State Wolfpack and the Michigan Wolverines. And they beat the living hell out of us that day. So maybe I’m a little biased?
But I digress…
Now when I left North Carolina very early last Sunday morning to begin my drive down here, it was 28 degrees. No shit. I was freezing my wrinkled white ass off. It’s not supposed to be that cold this soon in North Carolina. That’s January and February type stuff.
So I thought… anything is better than this. Can’t wait to get to some warmth and sunshine.
When I arrived here in the late afternoon/early evening last Sunday and stepped out of Dave to head into the hotel to check in, I was sweating my ass off before I even got to the front desk.
Some of you will recall that I don’t mind heat, but I hate humidity. And I don’t mind perspiring if there’s a reason for it. Sports/exercise, yard work, general exertion (yes that in fact IS a euphemism), etc. But if I can’t walk the 50 yards from Dave to the front desk without breaking out in a sweat? That’s bullshit.
I waited all summer for the humidity in North Carolina to break. Then what did I do? I drove 12 hours just to get right back into it. I might be mentally challenged. The jury is still out. Well, they’re trying to convince the last guy. It’s currently 11-1 in favor.
But the reasons for the trip are valid. My friend and I are having a very nice time, even if we are giggling like teenagers most of the time. Tonight we’re going to an outdoor blues festival. It should be fun and I’m looking forward to it.
That being said, I’m going to maybe wear a bandana and bring an extra towel to mop up my copious sweat.
Hmmmm….that’s an appetizing thought, huh?
Sports To Make You Sweat 2Nite
- Kings @ Blackhawks – 8:30pmEST – TV: NHLN
- Raptors @ Celtics – 7:00pmEST – TV: ESPN
- Bulls @ Bucks – 9:30pmEST – TV: ESPN
- Binghamton @ Northwestern – 7:00pmEST – TV: ESPNU
- Hofstra @ Maryland – 7:00pmEST – TV: B1GN
- Georgetown @ Loyola Marymount – 7:00pmEST – TV: CBSSN
- Long Beach St. @ (17)Mississippi State – 9:00pmEST – TV: SECN
- Little Rock @ (6)Nevada – 11:00pmEST – TV: ESPNU
- Boise State @ New Mexico (+20.5, +925) – 9:00pmEST – TV: CBSSN (don’t touch this one either way ATS, but Lobo’s ML might have value for $50, but probably not)
- Memphis @ SMU (+9, +350) – 9:00pmEST – TV: ESPN2 (I’m putting a Benjamin on SMU +9 at home; and might put another down on the ML +350, haven’t decided)
But if you follow my betting advice, you’re dumber than I am.
One thing Florida does have is beaches. So it’s not all terrible. So in honor of that, I’m going back to one of my old standbys.
It’s Beaches and Bikinis tonight part….ummmm….well shit, I don’t remember how many times I’ve done this one. Pretty much every time I’ve gone to the beach in NC, or every time I’ve visited California. That’s a lot I guess. Hmmmmm….I’m not in the mood to do math tonight.
So let’s just round down and call it….
Beaches and Bikinis Part VII (I think that might actually be correct, but I’m ballparking here).
Oooof. That’s almost enough to make it actually worth the heat and humidity.
I’ve Gotta Run Now
No, like seriously. They’ve REALLY got alligators here!!!! I’ve kept my shoes on the whole time just in case I gotta outrun one.
So far it hasn’t happened, but I’m staying ready. Those bastards are sneaky.
OK, maybe “sneaky” is the wrong word. But they’re bold and will eat you if you let ’em. Fuck that.
tWBS is ready to run at a moment’s notice, no shit.
(also that guy above would make a nice full set of luggage and at least two pairs of shoes)
They got bears too!!!!!
Awwww, but look how cute they are. Let’s go pet ’em and see if…
OK folks, that’s all I got this week.
If I don’t get eaten by some sort of wildlife before I leave Florida, I’ll see ya next week.
(and they never heard from tWBS again)