And always wanted to be an astronaut.
And a cook.
So he’s cooking for astronauts now.
Latest posts by yeah right (see all)
- Sunday gravy with yeah right: St Patrick’s Day for The End of Days – March 22, 2020
- Sunday Gravy with yeah right: I’m hungry, let’s make a taco. – March 15, 2020
- Sunday Gravy with yeah right: The Croque Madame – March 8, 2020
Sometime in the middle of last week it was starting to look like I would be working Christmas Eve – I still did – and would be alone on Christmas Day. Eldest right is going to visit youngest right along with all my little uns on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day in San Diego.
Believe me, I was fine with this. I was going to maybe throw a pot of beef stew on the stove, open up some frosty adult beverages and just chill the fuck out. I still have to go back to work on the 26th so the 25th is basically a random day off in the middle of the work week to me.
Nothing more, nothing less.
Having the holiday fall on a Tuesday this year almost certainly had some effect on this mindset.
As I began reflecting on this I was a little surprised at how unfazed I was by not really minding spending a day off relaxing and watching basketball and the idea of it being Christmas Day really didn’t enter my mind space at all.
As mentioned before I am an unrepentant heathen and fiercely proud of it but Christmas really did mean something special when I was younger.
Just out of general curiosity I sent out a request to the team members in the top secret DFO clubhouse to ask them “What does this Holiday mean to you?” I kept it non-religious and was looking forward to their input to see if maybe it may enlighten me.
These are their responses.
BrettFavresColonoscopy: “Christmas means people asking me about Chinese food and a movie, even though my family never did that”
BallsofSteelandFury: “For us, Christmas means Christmas Eve dinner with bacalao and potatoes followed by the unwrapping of presents. Christmas Day is for sleeping in and watching TV. Maybe some porn if I’m feeling particularly festive and jolly.”
JJFozz: “My family celebrates Xmas Eve with homemade pasta, cream of crab soup, primed rib, and cookies. Then I sit there with my brother in law, drink, and make fun of the family we married into. Next day I watch thousands of dollars get unwrapped and broken within hours. Then we go to mom’s house, eat and drink, and wrap it up with visit to my wife’s crazy ass batshit idiot naive fuckface christian fundies for stupid shit. And it’s a dry house.”
Game Time Decision: “For me it’s totally cliche: I like spending the time with friends and family, even the ones I don’t like. And I love seeing the magic of the season through my kids eyes, whether it be Santa or the gifts or the surprises . We usually host Christmas dinner as both sets of parents are divorced, it was neutral ground and we then get dinner over in a few hours instead of days. And then cause I cooked a bird, I make turkey soup from the bones and eat nothing but soup and leftovers for a week.”
Senor Weaselo: “Christmas Eve is going to be a little bit different this year. We go to my grandparents’ (dad’s side) for dinner, but it’s going to be a more somber occasion than last holidays. My grandmother passed away in April, and my grandfather nearly followed her, though he is doing better now.
Christmas Day, Padre Weaselo plays Christmas at his church, we watch March of the Wooden Soldiers and the other Laurel and Hardy episodes on afterwards, and then we go to my aunt’s on my mom’s side for an Italian Christmas, and I need to remember where I put my Cards Against Humanity, because that’s also become a thing.”
[sorry for your loss Senor]
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers: “To me, Xmas is just another day, but it’s a day spent with the family. Xmas Eve with the Parental Commanders, where we typically just watch a movie. Then come back over the next morning, unwrap gifts, have to hear the Beach Boys Xmas album for the 29th time, and then pack up to go to my Grandparents about an hour away. Other family that I’m not really close with will be there too, and the food is pretty good. Grandma will get all the grown kids some really tacky dollar store toys to pad the present count, and as long as it’s done by a reasonable hour, I get to go home, have a whiskey and enjoy the rest of my vacation.”
Litre Cola: “Xmas eve we have “Orphans dinner” as none of us are from Calgary. The restaurant is closed so we use the kitchen, cook a huge meal and get absolutely black out. Xmas day is presents, Baileys and then white wine.”
Sharkbait: “Christmas means getting together with family for good food and drink, as cliche as that sounds. We always go over the top, with stuffed rigatoni on Christmas Eve, and either a Wellington, or a standing rib roast etc on Christmas day. I’m almost always in the kitchen prepping dinner. I enjoy watching everyone enjoy the food I’ve made for everyone.”
Scotchnaut: “Christmas these days means planning out a menu for at least 18 folks on my wife’s side. I like the kitchen and it keeps me away from the incessant gossiping regarding people I know or employ. [shudders] I stay completely sober (Booo!) during these get-togethers for fear of speaking my mind about the rampant hypocrisy that I witness. My side of the family is either dead, estranged or a business partner that has an agenda, so that’s a no-go. I wander off to my “Sanity Cave” as quickly as I can after supper. There are two other guys that feel the same way I do and they usually follow behind me after a time.”
Beerguyrob: “We went on vacation because neither of us needed any family drama this year. Relatives are sad, but I stand by the decision.”
SonofSpam: My thoughts (and they’re genuine, due to beer): I bitch and moan about the endless shopping, the commercialization, the commitments that I don’t wanna commit to, basically anything I can bitch about. But Christmas forces me to acknowledge that my family and friends are the greatest gifts in my life, and that it’s important to recognize what really matters. Little things like a shared meal, or big things like the smile from someone (human or canine) who got a really cool gift – it’s all I need to get through the next eleven months. The holiday itself is whatever you make it; heck, Jesus was probably actually born in March. But the connections (in person and, yes, online) are the best part of Christmas, and however Grinchy the exterior, deep down I love this time of year. Don’t tell anybody.
ReverendMayhem: “Neither is it ham, nor pomp. Nay, the true meaning of Christmas is drinking. Drinking and revenge.” Preferably accompanied by a picture of Alvis.
The Maestro: “I unironically love Christmas. Everything about it. The music, the decorating, the food, the gifts… all of it. If that makes me sappy as hell, then so be it. Even into now, December means that it’s an incredibly exciting time of year… my mother still decorates hardcore for Christmas, even with the children all grown up. My parents’ house goes from organized, tidy and uncluttered 11 months of the year to absolutely bursting at the seams with Santa Claus statues (which are all handmade and not tacky, mercifully), pine boughs, freshly-picked holly, and every other possible decoration during the Christmas season. Traditions are important, but we’ve also tried to keep them simple and manageable over the years instead of getting ridiculously worked up over things. My mom always cooks the turkey and other things the day before so as to not have to slave in the kitchen all day on the day of; we always have eggs Benedict and mimosas for breakfast, fresh panini sammiches for lunch, and then turkey dinner around 6:30 or so. It’s always the same people for dinner – my parents, my sister, and I, and starting about 13 years ago we’ve had family friends join us for turkey every year as well, including their 95-year-old grandmother, which is cool. Most of all, though, I feel like Christmas, to me, is how we’ve managed to harken back to traditions of the past – both our own societal ones as well as those from our family – while also still managing to keep things fresh and subtly adapting stuff as time goes on. Lady Maestro is now always part of my family Christmas, since her own family is so far-flung, and she’s slid right into the festivities without a hitch at all, which I think is awesome. We’ve gotten her a matching stocking to join all of ours, and she’s been instrumental in expanding our board game and puzzle library, which are also projects constantly ongoing in my parents’ house over the holidays. The best part of everything, though, is that because we’ve all consciously made an effort to try and not stress about things, even with all of the long-running traditions we have going on, is that the day itself doesn’t end up feeling stressful, with the burden of having to jump around from house to house and worry about seeing everyone in multiple families in the process. I absolutely would never begrudge anyone else who has to do that – but I’m certainly grateful for how we’ve chosen to undertake things. In the next few years, when I’ll possibly have my own kids to consider, I’m sure we’ll find routines and traditions changing again, but overall, I know that one way or another, we’ll be doing our damndest to try and strike the best possible balance of upholding holiday traditions while also getting the chance to relax and just revel in the moment with everyone we care about most.”
A lovely diatribe indeed.